16 First Date Rules for Girls to Land You the Desired Second Date

No one likes rules, but when it comes to first date rules for girls, they come in handy. And if you want a second date, they’re must-know information.

First dates are exciting. I always loved going on first dates. There’s the thrill of getting to know someone, the anxiety of whether you’re saying the right thing or not. In the moment, it can be terrifying. But when you look back, those were fun and spontaneous times, especially when you followed the most important first date rules for girls.

I always nailed the first date pretty well. Now, don’t ask me about two weeks later, I usually scared them off by then. But the first date is where you show your best self. You’re smiling, funny, and flirty—they’re eyeing you like you’re a rare diamond *because you are*.

The 16 must-know first date rules for girls

But there are some rules to understand. These aren’t strict rules you must follow, but they can help you out on a first date. We’re always looking to impress the other person on a first date… which is fine. But we’re usually not doing it the right way.

[Read: 15 things that you should do on a first date to impress them]

We dress super sexy and act mysterious—but that never really works in the long run. So, these first date rules for girls will help you out and give you a better idea of what you should be doing. After reading them, you’ll realize the real ticket to experiencing the first date is being yourself.

Remember, these first date rules for girls exist for a reason.

#1 Expect nothing. Listen, don’t expect anything. Don’t expect a second date. Don’t plan for the future. It’s the first date, who honestly knows what’s going to happen after. Just focus on having a good time and meeting someone new. If you start planning ahead, you’ll lose the moment and experience. It’s a date! Have fun! [Read: These are the dating rules for women who are tired of bad dates and games]

#2 Be the fun you. I know this sounds a little lame, but it’s true. This is a date, must I remind you. This isn’t a marriage proposal. I know you want to know what he does for a living, where he works, how much he makes. I know. But the first date is all about chemistry.

Do you have chemistry? If so, then the second date you can start asking these questions. But for now, keep the conversation light and fun. Talk to him about books, traveling, food, movies, anything else. Literally.

#3 Wear what you feel comfortable in. I know everyone will tell you to wear something sexy, but trust me, don’t do it. Wear what you feel is sexy and comfortable, not what others say. Why? Because you won’t be able to pull it off. You’re the sexiest when you’re comfortable and relaxed. So, wear what makes you feel good. Don’t show up on your first date in a ball gown. [Read: How to feel sexy and desirable all the time]

#4 Don’t be nervous. I know it’s easier said than done, but there’s really nothing to be nervous about. Now, if you’re on a date with Brad Pitt, then I understand. But, you’re not. So, calm down and focus on relaxing. If the conversation is light and breezy, then you should already be laughing and going with the flow. If you’re still nervous halfway through the date, maybe he’s not the right match.

#5 Do some research on him. Not in a creepy way, but we all have Facebook, right? So, do some light creeping and figure out what kind of guy he is. Does he like sports? Is he into movies? This information can help you out when it’s time to pick a place for your date. Also, in case the conversation runs dry, you have some topics up your sleeve. [Read: 13 things to talk about that’ll keep every guy really interested]

#6  Don’t get too drunk. Listen, this is one of the first date rules for girls that can make a big difference. you can have a drink or two, but don’t start slurring your words. No one wants to go on a first date where you’re wasted. And secondly, you don’t know this guy! Don’t start drinking. You have no idea who he is or what he’s like. So, most importantly, for your safety, be cautious with how much you drink.

#7 Be open and honest. You don’t have to be completely open about yourself, you can leave some mystery. But you should be honest. You don’t know where the date is going to take you, and if this is someone you like, they should know who you are. If you hate running, don’t say you just did a marathon. If you eat meat, don’t pretend to be a vegan.

#8 Choose a different date. Everyone always chooses either a coffee or dinner and a movie. Literally, there are no other options apparently for a first date. But there are tons of options to choose from. I went on a first date where we brought our dogs to the dog park together. Another one I went on, we went to a haunted house.

Check the events in your city that week and see if there’s something interesting you can do together. [Read: 30 fun first date ideas to leave them wanting more]

#9 Let him pay if he wants. I know it’s a debate, but if a guy asks you out on a date and he offers to pay, let him. It’s not a thing. It doesn’t make you less of a woman and him more of a man if he offers to pay. He asked you out, he’s asking for your time. I think he can pay. You can also split the bill, that’s totally cool as well.

#10 Stay away from serious topics. If you make it through this date and there’s a second one, then ask the serious questions. But for the first date, keep it light. I know you want to talk about your ex, politics, or religion, but take a break from that right now. Usually, these topics end up in heated debates and you have no idea what your date is like.

#11 Look for red flags. The first date should be fun, but it’s also your moment to look for red flags. Who doesn’t love red flag hunting? I do! But seriously, he may slip in a comment here and there that will make you stop for a moment and think. These are things you need to keep in mind for after the date. Red flags are important, and obviously, you need to avoid them. [Read: 12 subtle first date red flags you shouldn’t ignore]

#12 Keep the phone away. I went on a date where the guy spent most of his time on his phone. Well, let’s just say there was no second date. Don’t be that person. If you’re too busy to put your phone away for one hour, then maybe you shouldn’t be going on dates. Even if the date is boring, either leave or have some respect and keep your phone away.

#13 Have an exit strategy. I’ve been on a scary date where I wasn’t sure if I would even make it out alive. And I didn’t have an exit plan. Make sure you always have a backup for when you want to leave. Have your friend call you at a specific time or just leave when you feel uncomfortable.

#14 Smile! Men love a bright and positive smile. I mean, who doesn’t? Everyone likes being around positive and happy people. If you’re having a good time, don’t be afraid to smile. Of course, it has to be genuine. Not one of those creepy mannequin smiles. 

#15 Tell someone where you are. I don’t want to be a paranoid person, but when it’s a first date with someone you don’t actually know, you need to be smart. Make sure someone has his information, including his picture and phone number. I’m not saying he’s a serial killer, but you should always be safe. [Read: Exit strategies to help you ditch a terrible date]

#16 Sex on the first date? Listen, you can have sex with him on the first date or not, it’s completely up to you. In my opinion, if you’re interested in more than a casual relationship, I would wait until you get to know him and what he’s looking for. If not, you could end up getting hurt.

[Read: 12 clues that will tell you your first date was a success]

If you don’t want to follow the rules, you don’t have to. But these first date rules for girls will help you on your first date and even get you a second one.