In my spare time I like to peruse the internet and see what people say about dating and relationships and the best ways to go about each of them. Here are 6 truth bombs about dating from the “experts” that you can start to apply in your life:
How Many Dates Does it Take To Know if There’s Potential?
After two or three dates, you should honestly know if the person you’ve met is someone you should keep dating. Too often, a mistake men and women make early in dating is overthinking things. By date two or three, you won’t know if this person could be your lifelong partner. But after two or three dates, you will know if this is a person you inherently feel comfortable with. By two or three dates, you will know whether this person is someone you have a natural fit with, and that natural fit is the must-have foundation of any good, lasting relationship. Seth Myers,PhD -Dating Advice
Try to Have Fun and Take Risks
Many aspects of a date are out of your control, so try to move through any awkwardness or difficulty with flexibility. Don’t let a change of plans, bad restaurant experience or a clumsy, anxiety-provoking moment ruin a great date. Share about yourself, be vulnerable and open, and disclose some personal details so your date feels comfortable reciprocating. The key is to balance healthy boundaries (being respectful, not over-sharing) with taking emotional risks. It’s okay if you are more comfortable listening than talking about yourself, or vice versa, but commit to truly putting yourself out there. That is how connection grows. Rachel Dack LCPC on How To Connect
Talk About the Future….Not the Past
See, it’s not that I’m asking you to bury all of your insecurities or problems and pretend they don’t exist. It’s simply as Christian Carter reminds us “The first date is not a time to discuss these”.
The purpose of a first date should only ever be to connect and have fun. So many people (men included!) treat dating like it’s a job interview, like they have to get out all of the relevant information as if you’re both trading CV’s!
But this kind of talk doesn’t make you feel connected; all it does is bring up issues that have no place being brought up until you know the person well enough to let them into your life a bit more.
So if you take one piece of advice to your next date it’s this: Focus on the Future, not the Past.
Matthew Hussey reviews Christian Carter
Observation: Men Won’t Always Call After Sex
What You Can Learn From This: Don’t be surprised if 50% of guys don’t follow up. Stop sleeping with men if you can’t handle the consequences. That’s all you can control. – Evan Marc Katz Dating Advice
Be Your Genuine Self
The key to finding a real, lasting connection with someone? Always be your genuine, most authentic self — even on date number one.
“The absolute best thing you can do on a first date is genuinely be yourself,” Nancy Brooks, Psychotherapist and Couples Counselor, tells Bustle. “One of the reasons why couples don’t work is because people try to be on their best behavior and only give a great impression of who they want to be, not who they really are.” First Date Tips
Run the Numbers
Most research estimates that you need to go on 40 to 60 dates before you find someone compatible, so be prepared to try and try again. It’s like looking for a job, where you know what your parameters are and have a sense of when it is working and not working. Don’t think that the next person you are going to meet is going to be magical. It is a process and you will know when you encounter that outlier.
John & Julie Gottman on Dating