One of the most highly researched things in the field of psychology is why and…
Just had a one night stand… Now what? Do you like him? What is your end game? What you want tells you what to text a guy after a hookup.
The question used to be, how long should a guy wait before calling a girl after getting her number? But, with technology taking over our lives and our smartphones being glued to our hands, it is now about what to text a guy after a hookup. And it seems to be the ladies’ turn to reach out first.
But, what do you say? Do you say you had a great time or just be casual? Do you ask him to Venmo you the money for your early morning Uber?
What do you want after a hookup?
Before deciding what exactly to text a guy after a hookup, decide what you want from him. You don’t want to say you would love to see him again if you plan on ghosting him next week. And you don’t want to be too casual if you want to see him on a more regular basis.
So, deciding what your plan is will make deciding what to say a whole lot easier. [Read: How to enjoy the freedom of being single]
Did you have a good time? Did you just need a good night and that’s all? Do you want to be FWB *friends-with-benefits*? Do you want to start dating?
Try to think about how you truly feel after the hookup and go from there. Before you can be honest with him, you need to be honest with yourself.
Even if he is a nice guy, if the hookup was bad you may want to move on. But, it could have been a fluke thing, maybe he had an off night and you want to give it another go?
You don’t want to go into texting after a hookup without having at least a few answers to these sorts of questions. Or else you could tell him you’ll meet him at Applebee’s tonight without having any intention of actually doing so. [Read: Tinder hookup essentials – 11 must-know steps for the perfect hookup]
What to text a guy after a hookup when you want to see him again
Out of all the things you could text a guy after a hookup, wanting to continue seeing him is the hardest. What if you text him and he doesn’t text you back? What if he doesn’t want to see you? There is so much doubt that goes into that text, but if you know exactly what to say, you can remain calm, cool, and collected.
#1 “I can’t stop thinking about…” Your lips, the bread from dinner, etc. This will remind him of how much fun you had together and hopefully encourage him to ask you out again.
#2 “Last night was great, we should do it again.” Bring up a second date yourself. Why not? Just get it all out there at once. Why not go all in and take the risk? Instead of making your way through small talk see if he wants to see you again now. Why waste any time? [Read: How to ask a guy out over text]
#3 Nothing. Wait for him to reach out. This is not a game. And as much as I would like to say if you want to text him text him, just wait it out for a day or two. Then you can reach out with a funny meme or GIF, but if he wants to see you, he will reach out. [Read: 13 tweaks while texting a guy to make him want a lot more]
What to text a guy after a hookup when you want to end it
Awkward! You hooked up and you are not interested. Maybe he just wasn’t your speed or you just went in wanting one steamy night. Whatever your reasons, you can’t just leave him hanging, so, here are some things to text a guy after a hookup when you want to say goodbye.
#1 “Last night was great, but I’m not looking for anything serious.” Just be completely and totally straight forward. Most likely he will appreciate your honesty, move on, and just be happy he got to hook up with you at all.
Worst case, he gets upset and lashes out as guys tend to do, then you can ghost. I give you permission. You don’t owe him anything but the truth. After that, it is up to him. [Read: 10 scenarios when it’s okay to be a ghoster]
#2 “That was a great one night stand.” Instead of going into this whole long monologue about how you don’t want to settle down and how he is great but you don’t see it working, just leave it plain and simple. If he catches on quickly he will likely say, yea it was, and you are in the clear.
#3 “Thanks again for the other night, it was great meeting you.” Sure, this sounds like what you would say in an email to someone you had a business meeting with, but if you have no intention of seeing this person again, especially not in a romantic way, what’s the big deal?
What to text a guy after a hookup when you’re just not sure
So, you hooked up but don’t really know what you want moving forward. You don’t want to end it, but you don’t want to date exclusively. You don’t want to give this guy the wrong idea, but you don’t even really know what you want. So, what are you supposed to text a guy after a hookup when you just aren’t sure.
#1 “Thanks for the ride ;).” Keep it light and fun. When you aren’t sure where you see things going, keep it casual. I am a big believer in being upfront and communicating, but after one hookup you can still be flip-flopping about your feelings.
Hang out again without a big conversation about where things are going and see how you feel then. For right now, keep having fun.
#2 “The other night was great, I hope it’s okay if we keep things casual.” On the flip side, just come right out with it. Let him know that you had a good time but aren’t sure what your plans are. This way he goes in knowing you aren’t ready to start dating seriously and he can tell you what he wants. [Read: How to find and enjoy casual sex]
Who has the time to wait around?
#3 “Want to come over?” Just keep things going as per usual. Instead of going out on elaborate and fancy dates, keep things laid back. Netflix and chill does not imply commitment, so just feel things out as they are until it is too weird not to talk about it.
What NOT to text a guy after a hookup
#1 “I never do that.” Do not apologize for hooking up. There is nothing for you to be sorry for. You are a sexual being and you should celebrate that. If he thinks you’re easy or you’re afraid he will disrespect you from now on, forget him.
He isn’t worth your time. Hooking up with someone without a plan is nothing to be ashamed of. Own your sexuality.
#2 “I think I left my _____ at your place.” Your keys, your retainer, your diaphragm, whatever, just don’t do this. This is a time-honored tradition that needs to die. Leaving something at his place as an excuse to see each other again is juvenile and not nearly as subtle as you think it is.
If you want to see him again, tell him. You don’t need to leave something behind on purpose. You are better than that. [Read: The dreaded after sex call – do’s and don’ts]
#3 “I’m pregnant.” Obviously, if you are pregnant that is up to you, but do NOT say it as a joke. This may be a no-brainer for some, but I have heard from multiple guys that girls have done this. WHAT?
Just don’t. Do not joke about STDs or being pregnant, it is not funny. No matter your reasoning, this is always in bad taste. There are about a billion other jokes you could tell after a hookup.[Read: How to make him want more after a one night stand]
I hope you figured out what to text a guy after a hookup so you can move on in whichever direction you so choose.