The dating game is a confusing one, but if you’re finding yourself regularly ghosted, it’s…
It’s really annoying when he never texts you first but always replies right away when you send him that text. Here’s what it means and how to deal.
You’re rightfully irritated. It’s super easy to get frustrated when he never texts you first but always replies like he’s thrilled you’re talking to him. I mean, what’s the deal?
Does he like you? Is he just playing games? Why won’t he text you first if he DOES like you? It’s all so confusing and it leaves you in the dark almost all the time. You have great conversation but are super annoyed by the fact that you always make the effort and he never does.
How to know if a guy is even worth dating
I understand how you feel. If he’s doing this already, is he even worth pursuing? You can’t just jump to conclusions right away though, and I’ll tell you why.
You don’t know what’s going on.
There could be some serious stuff going on in his life that you’re not privy to because he’s just getting to know you. It’s wrong to just think he’s not worth it simply because he never texts first.
But you should be aware that if this is an ongoing problem and you’ve been seeing each other for months on end, he might not be the type of guy you need. Discovering why this is an issue will help you figure out if he’s worth it or not. [Read: 12 things to look for in a guy before you date him]
What it means when he never texts you first but always replies happily
It’s not that he’s annoyed. You text him and he always gets back to you with a smiley or wink face. It’s great conversation and yet, he just never texts you first. Why is that and what’s going on in his adorable head? Here are some of the reasons he’s being such a butt.
#1 He’s not sure how you feel. Guys can be pretty cautious with their hearts, too. It’s not just girls who guard them. He might just be unsure of how you feel about him and therefore, he only texts you when you’ve already reached out.
That way he knows for sure that you want to talk. This is also an issue with insecurity. If he doesn’t feel that great about himself, he might not think you want to talk to him and will only text back once he knows you’ll actually reply. [Read: 12 science-backed clues to know if a guy likes you for sure]
#2 He doesn’t want to annoy you. Some guys think they’re really annoying if they reach out first. Some girls have complained about annoying, clingy men and it could be why he’s waiting for you to text first.
He also may have had a previous girl tell him he was too clingy and that’s why she didn’t want to continue things with him. It’s all a precaution if this is the case. He doesn’t want to mess up his chances with you so he waits for your move.
#3 He’s really busy with stuff. He could just be busy. If he’s having a busy time at work or with his other personal life, he might not be able to text you first all the time. It also means you’re not really a priority to him.
Guys who text you first are making you a priority. Plus, even if he is just busy, he still has time to send a quick text that says he’s at least thinking about you. Next time you’re talking, just ask about his workload and what he’s been doing for fun in his spare time.
#4 He’s keeping his distance for reasons. Maybe he’s double-timing a girlfriend or maybe he has commitment issues. Whatever the reason, he could just be keeping his distance. That means keeping you at arm’s length so you don’t get too close to him. [Read: 12 reasons why he’s distant and what you can do]
#5 He doesn’t want a relationship. One reason he could be keeping his distance is because he doesn’t want a relationship. What he wants right now is something casual and to chat with someone cool. That means he won’t want to give you the wrong idea by texting you first. But he is always happy to chat just because he does find you fun and interesting.
#6 You text him first too often. Do you ever give him the opportunity to text you first? It could be that you’re just beating him to it all the time. You could get done with work before him and that means you’ll always text first.
If you’re texting him first thing in the morning and right away when you’re off work, it doesn’t leave much room for him to do the same. Take a break for a day or so and see if he reaches out first. If so, problem solved. [Read: 8 signs you’re coming on way too strong and need to back off]
#7 He’s keeping things casual and as-is. Basically, he’s happy with your relationship as it is and doesn’t want to go any further. This is something guys who like their lives do. They want to have a girl on the side so they can have some fun but otherwise they don’t want any other responsibilities or changes.
#8 He’s afraid of bothering you. Once again, he’s just being precautious. Think back to your discussions and try to remember if you’ve ever said anything about clingy guys.
Maybe you talked about how your previous hookups were always so needy. If you’ve mentioned anything like this, he’s likely just trying not to bother you. He’s letting you take the lead so he stays on your good side.
#9 He’s trying to gauge your interest. The more you text him first, the more you like him. That means he’ll pick up on that and it’ll confirm that you’re actually into him. Despite all the signs being there, some guys are still clueless. So if he’s wondering how you feel, he’ll probably let you text first until he’s sure. [Read: 14 ways to show a guy you like him and still be a tease]
#10 He doesn’t like you as much as you think. He’s basically just being nice. He’s not really into you as much as you think he is. As much as he might enjoy your conversations, he’s not interested enough to start them himself. However, he’s probably trying to keep his options open by replying every time.
#11 He’s playing hard to get. Some guys do this for some odd reason. They think that by making you work for it, they’re hooking you. This doesn’t always work but the more you text him first, the more he thinks it definitely does. So just lay off a while and see what happens. [Read: Is he playing hard to get with 13 signs he’s just not into you]
#12 You’re coming on too strong. This is probably the biggest reasons he’s hesitant to text you first. You may be coming on too strong and scaring him a little bit. If he hasn’t had a relationship for a while, this could definitely be the reason he never texts first but always replies.
Just back off some. Wait for him to reach out and if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t like you and he’s not worth your time.[Read: What to do when he doesn’t text back with advice you may not like]
You’re probably overly frustrated when he never texts first but always replies, and understandably so, too. Hopefully these explanations can help clear the air for you.