The dating game is a confusing one, but if you’re finding yourself regularly ghosted, it’s…
It might sound like a contradiction, but the accidental text on purpose can actually be a very sneaky tool when trying to get someone’s attention!
Wait, an accidental text on purpose, what’s that, you say?! For starters, be honest, have you ever attempted to get someone’s attention by using an “oops, sorry, that text wasn’t meant for you” kind of tactic?
Come on, own up, we’ve all done it!
This is known as the ‘accidental text on purpose’ and it allows you to make contact with someone, perhaps as a nudge, whilst having the pretext of actually not meaning to do so. You can maintain your cover of nonchalance but still receive the desired effect.
It’s genius when you think about it![Read: What to do when you accidentally send a text to the wrong person?]
What is an accidental text on purpose?
You might have done this yourself by accident, or you might have been quite obvious about it and tried to pretend it was an accident, but the accidental text on purpose looks like a little like this, for example:
You’ve met someone and exchanged numbers. You might have even sent a few messages back and forth over the space of a few days, but then suddenly everything goes a little quiet. You were the last one to send a message, so you’re not keen on sending another, simply because you don’t want to look desperate. The silence goes on.
What do you do?
You send a ‘nudge’. This could be a text which has nothing to do with the original conversation, to look completely accidental, and the recipient will receive it and then wonder what it’s for. The hope is that they’re so overcome with curiosity as to what it means, because it’s so out of context, that they send you a message in return.
Boom! Conversation re-started.
If your conversation carries on, consider your texting strategy a success. However, there is the risk that they could simply ask what you mean and then leave it alone. In that case, don’t try this strategy again, because you really are erring on the side of desperation, and nobody like that![Read: How to master the subtle art of getting someone to call or text you back]
How to send the best accidental text on purpose
If you want to send the best accidental text on purpose without it looking blatantly obvious what you’re attempting to do, the key is in the wording and the timing.
Firstly, make sure whatever you send isn’t related to the conversation you were having. If so, it looks like a continuation and you’re desperately trying to restart the chat. That’s what you’re doing, of course, but you don’t want them to know that!
Instead, go for something random, but I don’t recommend opting for anything flirty. If you do this, they might assume you’re chatting to several people on the go and as a result, they might think you’re a little too flighty for their tastes. Of course, they could fly into a jealous range and hit you up constantly, but do you really want to have to make a potential partner super-jealous in order to get any attention?
Of course not! [Read: How to not be a boring texter and keep your crush really interested]
Instead, stick to something quirky yet un-obvious.
Something like “do you really think so?”, or “I can’t believe they did that”, or “what are the chances?!” That basically looks like you’ve continuing a conversation with someone else, but it’s totally innocent, without flirtatious connotations or any overtones of anything dodgy going on.
The wording also has to be enough to make them curious. Avoid anything like “I’m good thanks, how are you”, because that’s the most boring conversation around. It needs to look like you’re in the middle of something funny or interesting and not a general conversation you would have with your sister.
Now we have to think about timing. Avoid sending it late at night. If you do this, they’re going to assume it’s some kind of booty call-esque chat which they’re going to see straight through. Having conversations with other people late at night also doesn’t look great if you’re attempting to snag this person as your potential other half! [Read: Dry texting – The real meaning behind someone’s one word responses]
The best time to send your accidental text on purpose, in my opinion, is at some point during the day or early in the evening. Avoid first thing in the morning because they’re likely to forget that you’ve texted them and therefore not reply simply because it’s slipped their mind.
Lunchtime is a good option, as this is when people are on their phones whilst eating their lunch. Early evening is also good because people tend to be relaxing and therefore more likely to chat.
When not to try this tactic
Do not try and send an accidental text on purpose if you have already sent two unanswered texts beforehand. Basically, that’s a big red flag which is screaming “leave me alone!” This person isn’t interested. It’s tough, but that’s life. [Read: How to know when to stop texting a guy – Have you been texting too much?]
The accidental text on purpose is a nudge, it’s the technological equivalent of standing there waving your arms around, attempting to get to someone remember that you’re in existence. Obviously, the hope is that you never have to attempt this particular strategy, and that the person you’re spending your time texting is replying and firing off texts to you just as frequently.
It’s also very likely that you’ve received an accidental text on purpose yourself. Perhaps you didn’t realize it at the time, but think back.
Have you received a text from someone you were chatting to that made no sense whatsoever, compared to the conversation you were having before? That’s exactly the type of text we’re talking about! That person might as well have been stood on a small rock in the distance, waving their arms around frantically, screaming “do you remember me?”
Yes, the accidental text on purpose doesn’t have much dignity attached to it when you break it down, but it’s also a genius way to attraction attention you’re trying to get without being super-obvious about it in the first place. It’s a way to figure out whether they simply forgot to reply, or maybe thought they had and didn’t press ‘send’, or whether they’re actually ghosting you. [Read: Will she ever contact me again? How to know if she’s interested or losing interest]
Why do chats stall in the first place?
This can be for a few reasons, but the most common one is boredom. Chatting over text isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world, and at some point you are going to have to move things away from texting and into the real world!
Don’t do it too quickly, but don’t stall it either, otherwise you run the risk of your virtual relationship running out of steam and never really making it to the fun part. [Read: Texting before the first date – A complete guide to doing it right]
Of course, chats also stall because one person isn’t really that interested and can’t think of a more dignified way of doing it. In that case, conversations simply tend to stop.
If you send the accidental text on purpose, you might get a curious reply and then radio silence, or you might not get a reply at all. If this happens, take the hint for heaven’s sake and move on. Don’t waste another second on it. [Read: 13 rules you need to follow when someone you like stops texting you]
However, if you play your cards right, sending this so-called accidental text might actually be all it takes to get things kick-started again, and to keep things flowing.
Everyone forgets to send a text occasionally, and everyone goes through hard times at work which take their mind off everything else. If it happens once, okay, forgive it, but if you find yourself in the accidental texting situation again, perhaps it’s time to work out whether this person is worth it.[Read: How to start a conversation over text and keep them hooked to you in no time]
The accidental text on purpose is very useful for kick-starting a stalled conversation and sending a nudge for attention. It all comes down to how you use it and when, but it’s a great tool to have in your dating armory!