A one night stand sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, in reality, they can be awkward, confusing, and complicated. Need some one night stand advice?
One night stands are pretty darn common. You’d think they are simple. In reality, they can be pretty darn confusing too. Meeting someone new is awkward enough. Toss sex into the mix and awkward becomes super awkward and leaves you wishing for one night stand advice.
But, there is a way to make a one night stand what it is. You can make it simple, fun, and safe. You just have to know how.
Do you need one night stand advice?
Whether you have had a one night stand before or not, you might be wondering if there is a way to do it well. Although everyone’s preferences differ, a one night stand can be a great night of passion without the second-guessing, awkwardness, or expectations. [Read: 13 sure ways to find a one-night stand and get them in bed]
But, do you actually need help? If you have had a one night stand before, how was it? Did you leave feeling satisfied? Did you feel safe? Were there unanswered questions and implied promises?
If you have left your one night stand experiences feeling good, you may not even need any one night stand advice. But, a little advice couldn’t hurt, could it?
And for those who are walking into their first one night stand or want a better one than they had before, this advice should get you there. [Read: Top 10 most common one night stand mistakes to avoid]
One night stand advice
If you want to make your first or next one night stand as best as it can be, do these 15 things and it will be.
#1 Be honest. If you are going into the night knowing you want a one night stand, be honest with your date, your match, or whoever it may be. Tell them that you aren’t looking for something serious or long term.
This will make things run much smoother through the night and afterward.
#2 Like them. Sure, you might only be with this person for one night, but if you get along, not only will the sex be better, but the talking part will be much better too. In order to get the most out of a one night stand, enjoy spending time with that person.
If you are overlooking the fact that they smoke or are a misogynist just to have a one night stand, what’s the point? It will not be as enjoyable as it could be. It is only one night, you want to enjoy it.
#3 Be sure. Agreeing to a one night stand at dinner or at the bar doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind later on during the night. You do not have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable at any point.
It may be hard to admit you changed your mind, especially to someone you just met or don’t know very well, but you do not want to regret anything, so be sure to get and give consent before moving forward. [Read: 10 worst people to have a one night stand with]
#4 Be cautious. As fun as a one night stand can be, spending private time with someone you don’t know very well can be scary or dangerous. Be sure to tell a trusted friend the address of where you are just in case.
You can also always give a friend the name of the person you are with, in case something goes awry.
#5 Share your history. Another part of the night that sounds awkward, but makes everything from now to weeks from now so much better. Be sure you are both healthy before doing anything that could put either of you at risk.
#6 Be safe. Wrap it up. It doesn’t matter if “it isn’t as good.” A one night stand is not a trusted long-term relationship with someone you trust. Use protection. [Read: What you need to know to avoid getting STDs]
#7 Be aware and alert. Sure, a one night stand can feel like it is going much better after a couple of drinks. Your nerves die down and you feel like you can be uninhibited. But without your inhibitions, you can make mistakes and aren’t thinking as clearly.
I am not saying you can’t drink, but try to keep a clear mind. Although this night is about fun, you don’t want to be so drunk you can’t remember what happened tomorrow.
#8 Say what you want. One night stands are often filled with unfulfilled sex. And why is that? Even though the point of a one night stand is to have a good time without the commitment or strings, without communication and openness, neither one of you gets what you want.
So speak up. Let them know if this or that feels better for you. Share what you like and what you want and listen to them as well. You will both appreciate it.
#9 Have fun. Don’t forget to enjoy it. A one night stand although sometimes awkward or even risky shouldn’t be this big serious thing. Try to relax and enjoy it for what it is.
We all get nervous and worry and tend to have our guards up around new people, especially in the bedroom, but if you want to truly enjoy yourself and the company of your partner let loose a little. [Read: How to pull off the perfect one night stand and have fun doing it]
#10 Don’t have expectations. A one night stand is just one night. Try not to grow attached to this person. It can be difficult once you have just done something so intimate, but remember how you went into the night.
Sure, you could both end up wanting to see each other again, anything is possible, but don’t expect it. Just stay open to the night.
#11 Don’t be ashamed. Women particularly have been shamed and scrutinized by the public for having a one night stand as if choosing to enjoy consensual sex with someone of your choosing is so wrong. But it is not. And you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of.
Even after having a wonderful night, women often feel ashamed of being sex-positive and enjoying sex and that is brought on by society, and not something rooted in reality. So remember you are a sexual being and deserve to enjoy that part of life just as much as men do. [Read: A guide to owning the walk of shame]
#12 Stay or go. It is up to you to stay for the night or leave after the deed is done. If you are at your place, you can ask your partner to leave. Don’t feel like you have to stay to protect their feelings. And don’t feel like to have to leave to make it clear you don’t want something more.
As long as you communicate how you’re feeling, honestly this shouldn’t make things weird.
#13 Don’t dwell. You had a one night stand. Now what? Nothing. Just move on and enjoy the memory of the night. You had a great time or maybe just a decent time. Either way, it was one night and that is all.
Don’t dwell on what you said or did or what you could have done. It is over now. All you can do is try to make your next one night stand even better.
#14 Follow-up or not. A one night stand does not require an Instagram follow exchange or friendship. You can part ways and never speak again. Of course, you could follow up if you feel it is necessary by texting something like, “Had a great time last night, it was fun meeting you.”
You do not need to go out of your way to reach out or say anything. You both went in knowing it was a one night deal. [Read: 10 casual relationship rules to keep it casual]
#15 Do it again? If you had a good time and think this is someone you could have a casual thing with, let them know you feel that way. Make sure you respect their decision if they want to keep things as they are, but it can’t hurt to ask.
Continuously hooking up with the same person, minus romance can give you the comfortability you don’t get during a one night stand. But that is up to you and them, so talk about it.
Giving one night stand advice is sort of weird because everyone likes something different. As long as you and your partner communicate what you want, things should run smoothly.