How to Tell What a Guy Wants from You: The Guy Decoding Guide

You like him and want to be with him, but you don’t know if the feelings are mutual. Well, it’s time you learned how to tell what a guy wants from you.

The art of knowing how to tell what a guy wants from you is a typical dating struggle many girls experience. Also, people change their minds. So, in the beginning, maybe he wasn’t sure how he felt or thought he wanted something casual. Later, he feels you’re someone he wants to settle down with. This is an entirely possible scenario. Of course, so is the opposite.

When it comes to relationships, there’s no black and white. But that doesn’t mean you should feel completely blind in the situation. There are ways to decode how he feels about the relationship and where he wants it to go.

How to tell what a guy wants from you

If you can’t figure out what’s going on, why don’t you just talk to him? This is the easiest way to put everything out on the table and see what’s really going on. I know you fear hearing something you don’t want to, but it’s much better to deal with it now than to invest months, even years, of your life, waiting for something that’s never going to happen.

[Read: A guide to help you read a guy’s mind for why he pulls away before he commits]

Many people, both men and women, end up waiting around, feeling hopeful, but hope isn’t what you need. You need to know the truth. So, before you have a conversation with him, take a look at the signs and be honest. Ask yourself: what does he want from me?

By the time you finish this article, you’ll know the answer. Does he want something more or is he looking for the exit?

#1 You feel on edge. Though you like spending time with him, you’re never entirely comfortable around him. You always feel a little on edge. You never know if he’s going to text you back or even give you a call. If you are having these feelings, then it’s clear he’s not fully invested in you. If he was, you’d feel secure and safe in the relationship. [Read: 10 guys to stop dating if you want real love]

#2 Have you met his family and friends? Has he introduced you to his close-knit circle of friends and family? If so, the odds are he wants to make this relationship serious. Most men don’t introduce a woman they’re seeing to their friends and family unless they want more than just a hook up. If you’ve never met his friends or family, well, odds are this relationship is casual.

#3 Are you having sex? Are you exclusively having sex together, or are you both openly sleeping with other people? Is sex the main reason why you hang out? If you’re not doing anything but having sex and also sleeping with other people, then this is a casual relationship. A sex-based relationship isn’t a sign of a serious relationship. [Read: 17 sordid signs you’re just a hookup and nothing more]

#4 What do you talk about? If you’re wondering how to tell what a guy wants from you, keep an eye on the conversations you two have. When it’s a casual relationship, there’s not a lot of deep conversation going on. He’s not trying to get to know you. Instead, it’ll be a lot of small talk and more sexual in nature.

But if you have more intimate conversations about family, friends, life goals, and dreams, then it shows you are opening up to each other. And that’s a good sign he’s interested in something more.

#5 Does he talk about the future? When he talks about the future, whether it’s near or far, are you mentioned? This doesn’t have to mean marriage, but usually, if he sees himself with you, he’ll talk about the future with you in it. But, if he’s not into you, well, you will never reach that conversation topic anyways. [Read: 15 clear signs he wants something serious and is ready to commit]

#6 Do you go on dates together? There’s a big difference between only hanging out in your bedroom and going on dates. If you only see each other to “Netflix and Chill,” it’s clear that this relationship is casual. But, if you go on dates, doing things together without the expectation of sex, well, that’s a sign that there’s something more to the relationship.

#7 Does he text or call you? When you wake up and go to bed, does he send you text messages? Does he call you to talk about his day? Or are the only texts you get from him are when he wants to come over and hook up? There’s a huge difference. Because if the only time he talks to you is to have sex, well, then it’s quite clear what this relationship means to him. [Read: Why a good morning text is so important in a real relationship]

#8 Is he openly dating other people? If he’s openly dating other people, it’s safe to say he’s not looking for anything serious, unless you’re into polyamory. If he’s seeing other people, he’s just not that into you. He’s either keeping you on the side as an option or turning the relationship into a friendship. Either way, it won’t work out. [Read: He likes you but doesn’t want a relationship with you? Here’s how to deal with it]

#9 Has he told you what he’s looking for? Not all men are going to directly tell you what they want because they want to see how things go. And many women feel uncomfortable bringing up the conversation in fear of him being turned off.

So, you never know where you stand. But this is your life! You should know if you’re wasting your time on someone who doesn’t want the same things as you. So, have you sat down and asked him what he’s looking for? What was his answer? If it was vague, that’s not good enough; he needs to be straightforward and honest with you.

#10 When do you see him? Though you may not think of this as something to pay attention to, it’s important while trying to figure out how to tell what a guy wants from you. You can see him often, but if it’s only between the hours of 10 pm and 1 am, that’s not a good sign.

Do you see him during the day? On weekends? On Friday night? Does he make plans with you or calls you only at the last minute? These are huge differences. One shows his investment into the relationship, and the other shows you as an option. [Read: 16 signs he’s fallen really hard for you and is very serious]

#11 Is he ready for a relationship? If he recently broke up with his ex-girlfriend and looking to “have fun,” well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but he’s not looking for anything serious. Or if he’s planning on traveling the world in a couple of months, odds are he doesn’t want to settle down.

Honestly look at where he is in his life. Is his lifestyle is giving off  “casual” or “relationship” vibes? [Read: The signs he’s not looking for a relationship but fun]

#12 Does he know what you’re looking for? I know it can be awkward to tell a man what you’re looking for in a relationship. When you like someone, you don’t want to push them away. But if you aren’t on the same page, then those feelings are only going to hurt you.

Have you told him what you want? More importantly, what was his reply? Does he want the same things or not?

[Read: How to tell if a guy feels emotionally attached to you or not]

Relationships can be tricky. And though reading their signal is a good way way for how to tell what a guy wants from you, nothing beats asking them face-to-face.