How to Read the Signs of a Controlling Girlfriend Who’s Too MuchFFOL Editor 1
Is your girlfriend a little *too much*? Check out these signs of a controlling girlfriend and see how she compares. Is it time to do something?
Often, we place the idea of controlling firmly in the camp of guys. Girls are just as able to control within a relationship. We might not hear about it as much, but let’s be honest, any kind of signs of a controlling girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t a good thing.
There is a big difference between a girl who can be firmly labelled as controlling and a girl simply fighting for her relationship because her partner is treating her badly, and she isn’t quite ready to let go.
Signs of a controlling girlfriend to watch out for
To help you figure out which side of the line your girlfriend is one, first check your own behavior and work out whether everything is good on your side. If so, see how many of these signs of a controlling girlfriend you’re able to agree on. [Read: 14 common traits of controlling people and how to deal with them]
#1 Whenever you argue, you’re always the one who gets the blame. If you argue, which everyone does occasionally, do you always end up being the one who has the blame firmly at their feet, even though it’s not always your fault at all? Does she always deflect her blame onto you and make herself look like a relationship angel?
This is certainly one sign of a controlling girlfriend, as well as an increase in arguments. Simply because she is trying to pull down your self esteem by placing more blame at your feet. [Read: What traits set apart selfless love from selfish love]
#2 She is quickly angered when she doesn’t get her own way. A controlling person can easily become angry when they don’t get their own way, so if your girlfriend can fly off the handle pretty quickly, that’s a surefire sign to be aware of. She’s likely to use threats as a manipulation tactic too, trying to get you to do what she wants in a more effective way.
#3 When she does something well, you have to know about it. A controlling person loves praise, so when she does something well, e.g. she cooks a meal, she’s likely to want a lot of praise for it. This exaggeration is one of the clearest signs of a controlling girlfriend. She is also likely to want everyone around you, e.g.mutual friends, to know how wonderful a girlfriend she is. [Read: 13 signs you’re being used by a girl who walks all over you]
#4 Nothing you do is ever good enough. No matter what you do, she is never satisfied and always wants you to do more. By doing this, she’s making you feel like what you do isn’t good enough for her, when in reality it’s simply unrealistic demands. Over time you will believe all of this and think that perhaps you’re not good enough after all. Of course, the truth is that you are.
#5 She questions everything you do. The bottom line? A controlling girlfriend has low self-confidence, resulting in her constantly questioning what you’re doing. Her lack of trust isn’t because of anything you’ve done, it’s because she doesn’t have the confidence in herself. [Read: Controlling or caring? The thin line that shouldn’t be crossed]
#6 She puts you down. She often pulls you down and makes you feel humiliated. She might have a slightly underhanded nickname for you or question the things you do, with a look on her face that says what you’re doing is clearly stupid. This can drag your self-confidence down to the same level as hers.
#7 She manipulates with sex. Girls know how important sex is to a guy. As a result, she’s likely to use that against you as a control technique. This may not be the same issue in same sex relationships, women aren’t quite so “out there” about their need for sex. However, it does vary from person to person. If she withholds sex or manipulates you with sex, it’s a sign of a controlling girlfriend. [Read: 12 signs of a manipulative woman that can leave you lost and confused]
#8 She often says she’s going to leave you. It’s clear manipulation when a girl is always threatening to leave their partner without an intention to do so. As a result, you’ll do whatever she wants to stop her from doing it. In reality, she was never going to go through with her threat.
#9 She is extremely jealous. Everyone is jealous occasionally. If you can’t do anything without her showing signs of the green-eyed monster, question why that is. If you’re not doing anything wrong, the problem sits at her own feet. Remember that we all become a little jealous sometimes. It’s not a clear sign if it’s only the odd time. [Read: 18 no-fail ways to calm down a jealous girlfriend]
How many of these signs do you see in your relationship?
If there is just one, it’s not likely to be a huge problem. It could simply be an issue you both should work through together. In that case, sit down and talk about the problem. Explain why it is bothering you and come to a conclusion which allows you to both be happy and work through the relationship issue.
However, if you agree with several of the signs, the chances are that you have a controlling girlfriend on your hands. So, what do you do?
It really depends on you and the severity of the control. You could sit down and discuss the problem with your girlfriend. Is she likely to admit her controlling ways? Probably not. A controlling person can rarely see the error of their ways. They simply assume that what they are doing is done out of love. It’s far from love in reality. [Read: 20 signs your girlfriend is way too overprotective]
Or, set clear boundaries about what you will and won’t tolerate in the relationship. Then, give it a little time. See if your boundaries are respected. If they are, perhaps your girlfriend simply wasn’t aware of her behavior. Problem solved! However, if those boundaries are breached time and time again, seriously question whether the relationship is doomed to fail.
Control isn’t a healthy feature of any type of relationship. A healthy relationship doesn’t need someone to manipulate or control the other one. There should be a free, trusting exchange between both partners.
If you’re struggling because your girlfriend shows many signs of a controlling girlfriend and you’re sure that the problem can’t be rectified, do you want to continue in this relationship?
The victims of controlling relationships are usually so under the spell of the controlling partner they don’t realize what is going on at first. It takes a breakthrough moment and a lot of deep thinking to finally understand the truth.
There are many signs of a controlling girlfriend. One single episode does not add up to a controlling relationship. But, if several signs are true, seriously consider if the relationship has a future.