We all question our kissing capabilities. No matter how many people you’ve kissed you are probably wondering how to know if you’re a good kisser.
Understanding how to know if you’re a good kisser is not the same as knowing if you’re good at math. There is no quiz you can take or class you can ace.
You may know how to spot a good kisser, but without being able to kiss yourself, how do you know if you’re a good kisser? Well, luckily for you, there are actually quite a few ways to find out if you’re a good kisser.
And, no, none of them actually include you kissing yourself. [Read: The 12 subtle moves you need to be a good kisser]
Do you know what a good kisser is?
The problem with answering this question is that being a good kisser isn’t measurable. It isn’t something everyone will agree on.
You may think your ex was a good kisser, but others might disagree. Being a good kisser is like being a good actor. It is up for debate. Some people can think a performance was spot on while others think it fell flat. Kissing is just like that.
But, if you aren’t sure how you measure up in the eyes *or the lips* of a new partner, you can figure it out by knowing what you think a good kisser is. [Read: How to be a good kisser even if you’re a newbie and haven’t kissed much]
Is a good kisser someone that uses a lot of tongue? Is a good kisser someone who takes things slow or is more aggressive?
Try to base your kissing skill on what you think is good kissing because that’s what matters. If you enjoy kissing slowly and gently, then kissing like that for you means you’re a good kisser.
If you kiss gently but prefer someone that is more intense, maybe you ought to step up your kissing game. Ultimately, you can learn how to know if you’re a good kisser by how much you enjoy the kissing experience. [Read: 11 signs of a bad kisser and 15 foolproof remedies]
How to know if you’re a good kisser
If you know how you kiss and feel good about it, that should be all you need to know if you’re a good kisser. But I totally understand that you’d want to know for sure. You don’t want to think you’re a good kisser but have your partner roll their eyes every time you kiss.
Lucky for you, you can actually know if you’re a good kisser for sure. And it isn’t that difficult to figure it out. [Read: 22 tips to make any first kiss oh-so-amazing!]
#1 Ask your partner. This is probably the best and most obvious way to find out if you’re a good kisser. Simply ask your partner. Do make sure they know you won’t be offended, but want to make sure they enjoy kissing you.
Yes, this can seem like you’re not confident in your kissing skills, but if you’re unsure about whether you’re a good kisser or not, you may need reassurance. Also, if you were to ask everyone you’ve kissed you may get differing answers as I mentioned earlier.
Everyone has a different kissing style so your ex may think you could have been more aggressive while your current boo is obsessed with how you kiss. [Read: Kissing techniques for that heartbeat-skipping kiss]
#2 Do you change your kissing style per person? Because everyone has their own kissing style and preference, do you change how you kiss based on the person? If so, you are probably a good kisser. Most people who are in tune with their partners are good kissers.
If you can feel the vibe your partner is putting off and adjust your kissing style to meet theirs, you’re probably a good kisser. You don’t just kiss the same way with everyone. You may French kiss more often with one person because that’s what feels right with them. But with someone else, you may kiss more softly because that is what feels right.
Kisses should differ based on the person and your relationship. [Read: How to initiate a kiss that’ll make them remember you forever]
#3 Do you kiss based on the moment? This is another question to ask yourself when you’re wondering if you’re a good kisser. If you consider yourself to be a passionate kisser that is great, but just as you have to read the person you’re kissing, you need to read the moment.
If you are kissing them in front of their grandma, lower the passion. But, if you are kissing on your front porch after a romantic date night, you can turn up the passion and intensity. Being able to kiss based on your environment is important. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]
#4 Do you read your partner’s signals? From my experience, this is where most bad kissers get it wrong. Sometimes you want a hardcore makeout session and other times you just want a few sweet pecks. But if you can’t read the vibe your partner is giving off, the kiss will not be good.
You could have all the potential to be a great kisser *which most people do*, but you’re not using that potential to the highest level. If your partner is touching your face and hair and pulling you in, you can take that as a signal that you’re a good kisser. But, if they are fidgeting or pulling back or trying to adjust your movements, you may want to read their signs. [Read: 19 types of gross kisses that’ll make you go eww!]
#5 How does your partner respond to your kissing? A great way to figure out if you’re a good kisser is to see your partner’s reaction once the kiss is over. Do they smile and nuzzle up to you? Do they giggle or make eye contact? Those are all good signs.
If they turn away, wipe their mouth, or look like they are uncomfortable or worse, in pain, you have some work to do. But instead of feeling angry or embarrassed, ask them how you can improve. [Read: Easy communication exercises to be a better lover]
How to become a good kisser
If you are unsure if you’re a good kisser or have gotten less than favorable feedback from a partner or partners, you can do better.
I wouldn’t say practice makes perfect as each and every person is different, but communication is key. If you and your partner have mismatched kissing styles, you are not doomed.
Talk about it. Ask them what they don’t like about how you kiss and what they do. Tell them how you feel about their kissing too. You can work on your kissing skill with critiques and constructive criticism. [Read: How to kiss with tongue correctly and avoid a gross, sloppy mess]
Once you learn how to feel your way through kissing and feel comfortable with yourself in the moment, that will carry into future relationships. Confidence is key when it comes to kissing. Don’t be cocky, but go in focused on them and your connection, not your tongue or lips.
You should feel proud of your kissing skill, but always be open to meeting a new partner in the middle, so you both get what you want out of the kiss.
With these tips and advice, you will be more than a good kisser, but a great kisser in no time at all. All you need to do is be patient and read your partner’s body language.
I hope you can now answer the question of how to know if you’re a good kisser and how to be a better one if you’re not.