Putting ourselves out there online can be scary and awkward, but you can learn how to get a girl to like you online so you can meet in person.
As a girl that uses online dating regularly, I have a lot to say if you’re looking to know how to get a girl to like you online.
It seems to me that a downfall a lot of guys have online, is a lack of transparency.
I am not sure if it has to do with the fact that online communication subtracts the emotion and body language from the equation or if it has more to do with trying too hard, but I can definitely offer you some advice on how to get a girl to like you online so you can meet and impress her in person. [Read: Why you HAVE to meet your online date in person ASAP]
Why can’t you get a girl to like you online?
First things first, self-doubt. It is something I have noticed a lot in my time online dating. A lot of guys either act as if they have no worries or faults, or they doubt themselves and have low self-esteem.
Do not try to meet anyone’s expectations. I know when it comes to online dating you are putting your best foot forward, but you don’t want to be something you’re not. You don’t want to act like you’re perfect and have no flaws. But you also don’t want to scream your concerns about yourself from the rooftop.
So, don’t doubt yourself. I am not advising you to be cocky, but try not to crave the approval of anyone else. It can be hard when in a sense that is exactly what you’re trying to do. You have to be able to deal with rejection and not take it personally in order to make online dating work for you.
Another reason you may be striking out with the ladies online is your attitude. Many guys seem to believe being aggressive or pushy is the way to go, but I will be the first to tell you it is not.
Even with online dating being safer than it once was, women will always be hesitant to meet you in person. If you want her to feel comfortable meeting you, don’t push. Let things grow naturally and when it is time, you’ll meet. I cannot tell you how many guys have immediately turned me off by asking me to meet after a quick “what do you do for a living” exchange.
Take your time. You don’t need to get her to like you right this second. She won’t be able to like you without knowing you at least a little.
This may seem wrong to you, but hear me out. If you’re wondering how to get a girl to like you online, remember that too many compliments can go south quickly. Sure, telling her she has nice eyes or a great smile is sweet, but keep the flattery to a comfortable level. [Read: 7 unnervingly annoying ways guys come on too strong and scare girls]
If you compliment her looks too much, she will think you’re only after one thing. And if you compliment her too much in any way, especially early on, she will question it. When a guy throws compliments out immediately, women wonder how genuine those words really are.
When you don’t know her yet, you can’t really compliment her that much. It comes off as false flattery and can actually seem creepy. For example, I met a guy and went on a few dates with him. He constantly complimented me and said I was perfect for him, yet he barely knew me. It made me feel like he just wanted a girlfriend and I had nothing to do with it. Not to mention, he didn’t accept that I had flaws.
Being genuine about everything from your likes to your accomplishments and even basic compliments is vital in order to get a girl to like you online. [Read: The 30 best and worst words to describe yourself in a dating profile]
How to get a girl to like you online
Now that you know if you have made any of the top mistakes, learn how to get a girl to like you online. The previous advice was for your overall efforts, but from here on out, I will offer tips to help you put yourself out there the right way.
If you follow these “rules” you should easily get a girl to like you online. And who knows? Maybe you’ll meet, fall in love, and have a happily ever after. Or you’ll share a drink and realize you’re better as friends, but hey, you learn something from every date.
So, let’s see what you can do to clearly understand how to get a girl to like you online.
#1 Write a bio. Before even talking to a girl online, you can get her to start liking you just by offering an informational profile. Instead of just writing your job, age, and that you like to travel include something specific to you.
Include something that makes you stand out. Talk about your dream vacation or your obsession with Harry Potter. These small things make you stand out and will catch someone’s eye. [Read: Good Tinder bios that get you dates – 12 tweaks that make all the difference]
#2 Use accurate and clear photos. Whether you are happy with your looks or not, if you plan on meeting someone, they will see what you look like eventually anyway so you might as well be honest about it from the get-go.
Post photos that are well-lit, recent, and not blocked by hats and sunglasses. If you post photos showing off your true-self, she will see confidence right off the bat. [Read: How not to date online – What every online dater must avoid doing]
#3 Talk about something you care about. Instead of commenting on the weather or the basics, discuss something you care about. Talk about your passion for fixing up old cars or your obsession with animals or recycling.
You might think she’ll be bored, but even online, she will be able to feel the passion in your words. Talking about something you care about shows a side that is attractive and she will be more inclined to open up to you about her cares too.
#4 Don’t try too hard. Like I said earlier, you want to put your best foot forward, but that foot should be yours. Think of it as a job interview. You want to show off your best assets, but you still need to radiate genuine and honest, or you could end up with a job you have no clue how to do.
So, go ahead and talk about your accomplishments, but try to keep it humble. [Read: What to say on Tinder – 27 conversation tips that make you stand out]
#5 Interact. This is a huge issue I have seen with guys online. When you haven’t met yet, you really need to see the conversation flowing. I don’t mean you need to talk all day, but try not to just ghost for hours or days at a time.
Creating an online relationship that you hope will become a real one requires momentum. She will appreciate you reaching out after one conversation dies down. [Read: How to talk to girls online – 20 tips to leave them wanting more]
#6 Open up. It can be hard to open up to someone you have never met, but try to talk about things beyond the surface. You can get your jobs and sibling’s names out of the way but then talk about something deep.
If she feels your walls coming down, hers will too. Women love to see a guy opening up and not afraid to share the deep stuff.
#7 Be respectful. I cannot say this enough when it comes to understanding how to get a girl to like you online . Be respectful. I once told a guy that I am a feminist and write a beauty blog. He attacked me with his macho attitude claiming I couldn’t like makeup and be a feminist. I nearly lost it.
Respect her choices. Respect her stances and opinions. If you disagree so much that you feel the need to attack her beliefs, just unmatch. [Read: 15 things women look for in a man before falling for him]
#8 Be patient. She may want to meet after a few hours, but it could take a few days or weeks. I know it can feel like having an online penpal that you’ll never meet, but if you really like her and want her to like you, be patient.
She will appreciate you respecting her choice and wanting her to feel safe and comfortable.
#9 Ask her substantial questions. Try to get to know her. I cannot tell you how many guys go on and on about themselves without asking me one question about me. There should be a balance of give and take.
Ask her questions that matter. Don’t just ask her what her job is. Ask her if she’s happy with her position or what her dream job is. Ask her what made her choose online dating. Showing interest in her is what will let her see that you are not self-involved. [Read: 21 Tinder conversation starters that’ll intrigue anyone instantly]
#10 Don’t assume. This can be a hard thing to do when you are only given so much information. But, always keep an open mind. If her photos show her at music festivals, it doesn’t mean she parties every weekend. If she only posts selfies, it doesn’t mean she stays home every night.
Try not to go into the conversation blinded by judgment or stereotypes. You wouldn’t want her to judge you solely on your photos so offer her that same respect.
#11 Hope for the most but prepare for the least. This is the advice I offer to everyone in almost every aspect of life. Go in with an open mind and an open heart. Have a positive outlook and hope to meet someone that likes you.
But, with that, retain realistic expectations. The first person you talk to won’t be the one. The first ten people you talk to may not even make it to drinks. You may feel a connection with someone and then they ghost you. It sucks, but it happens. Go in expecting some rejection, but hoping for your happily ever after.
Even through online messaging, she will be able to feel your vibe. If you are bitter that no one is liking you enough, it will come through in your words or the spaces between them. [Read: 11 simple changes you can make to win girls over]
#12 Be yourself. I don’t know if I really have to repeat this, but I just wanted to put it here for good measure. Being yourself is the best way to get a girl to like you online. People can sense when you are being genuine, and they will appreciate that and offer it back.
Plus, you’ll never know if she truly likes you if you’re not being yourself.
I hope I helped you to learn how to get a girl to like you online. If so, go ahead and ask her out. And good luck.