Sometimes the girl you like just isn’t available. If that’s the case for you, let me help you learn how to get a girl with a boyfriend.
Liking a girl with a boyfriend is tough. It is hard to see the person you want to be with, be with someone that isn’t you. But all is not lost, because I am going to teach you how to get a girl with a boyfriend.
It is especially hard when you think or even know that her boyfriend isn’t right for her. Whether you have a crush or you’re close friends, it can be hard to sit around and wait for a girl with a boyfriend to come to her senses and pick you over him.
How to get a girl with a boyfriend to notice you
The first step in learning how to get a girl with a boyfriend is to get her to notice you. She may be perfectly fine in her current situation, but if she sees other options *like you* she may reconsider.
Now, you do not want to immediately start flirting with a girl that has a boyfriend. Not only will she probably find that disrespectful, but it could blow your chances altogether.
Instead of going for it flat out, take your time. Let her notice you for you. Be yourself and become friends. I know you don’t want to be considered as solely a friend, but she has to be able to get to know you on that level first. Without that foundation, it can’t go any further. [Read: How to stay friends but make her desire you at the same time]
Simply spend platonic time with her. Impress her with your listening skills, your sense of humor, your ability to make her feel good.
You don’t have to go over the top with compliments or good deeds, just spend time with her as you would with any other friend you care about. If she enjoys her time with you as a friend, that is the ideal stepping stone to getting a girl with a boyfriend.
How to get a girl with a boyfriend to like you
Before she even considers breaking up with her boyfriend for you or at all, she needs to know she has other options. One main reason people stay in relationships is that they don’t want to be alone. Many people, especially women, would rather be in a less than ideal relationship than be single. Make sure she sees you as someone she could potentially date if she were single.
Fantasy comes into play here. Girls need to analyze situations and think about their moves before they make them. That means she will have to consider this a lot before doing anything.
If you are friends right now, flirt with her subtly. Make it clear that you would love to date her if she were single. You can remind her how she deserves to be treated by treating her that way. If she sees in you what she doesn’t see in her current boyfriend, that will be attractive to her. But keep in mind you should still be yourself. Do not simply do what she says she wants.
If you really want to be with her, you have to treat her how you would in a relationship too, so that if she does pick you, she knows what to expect. [Read: Are you losing yourself to impress your crush?]
How to get a girl with a boyfriend to ditch him for you
Here is where the hard part comes in. You can get a girl with a boyfriend to notice you, flirt with you, and even like you, but for her to actually change her relationship status, there is a lot to be done.
Listen to these steps carefully and take notes if you must, because you will not learn how to get a girl with a boyfriend otherwise.
#1 Be sure. I am not blaming you, but it is super common for guys to like a girl due to the simple fact that she is unattainable. You may be letting the attraction of knowing you can’t have her cloud your judgment. Before actually trying to get her to breakup with her boyfriend for you, consider the long term.
Do you really want to be in a relationship with this girl? Are you compatible? What would your future look like together? Do you just want to sleep with her? Do you just want her to pick you over him? Is it a competition? If you aren’t sure you truly want to be with her down the line, don’t even try to get involved. [Read: Am I ready for a relationship? The questions you should be asking yourself]
#2 Be patient. You are not going to get a girl with a boyfriend overnight. Now if she has been dating him a couple of weeks it will probably take a lot less time than it would if she were dating him for years, but either way, you need to be okay waiting.
You need to put in the effort she deserves. You are essentially asking her to change a huge part of her life for you and that is not an easy decision to make. Be prepared to wait for a while.
#3 Think about what is best for her. You may be madly in love with a girl who has a boyfriend, but is trying to be with her right? Is it fair to her?
Is she happy in her current relationship? If so, it is up to you to let her remain happy. Sure, you could wait for a potential breakup, but by involving yourself in her happy relationship you are poisoning something good in her life for your selfish needs.
If you truly care about her enough to want her to dump her boyfriend for you, then you should care about her enough to let her go.
#4 Listen. Being a good listener is what a lot of girls are missing from their current relationships. She may not even realize it is lacking until she meets you, a guy who listens.
This may seem like a passive move, but it makes a big splash. When she notices herself coming to you to vent and talk, she will realize why. [Read: 10 ways you can be a better listener]
#5 Let her make up her own mind. Do not manipulate her. Do not force her hand. Do not go to her boyfriend or try to make things difficult for her. She didn’t ask for you to come into her life and like her.
I know that isn’t one of the tips you were probably looking for, but trying to pull a girl away from her boyfriend is not your right. She is in charge of her own life. Just because you are attracted to her or have feelings for her doesn’t mean she owes you anything.
Even if you put in all the groundwork and tried to be her friend first, it is still up to her. Any decent guy would be more than happy just to be her friend if that’s what she chooses. You have no right to her emotions. [Read: 13 friend zone hacks to get your friend to like you more]
#6 Be confident. I cannot tell you how many times guys have attempted to woo me with pity. It is sad and uncomfortable, to be honest. Do not make her feel guilty for not being interested. Do not tell her what a good guy you are and how girls never like you back. All that will do is make her run right into her boyfriend’s arms.
Instead, be confident. Own who you are. Be happy to be her friend. If you are comfortable being single and spending platonic time with her, she will be more attracted to that. Even go on dates. This is not to make her jealous, but for her to see that you will survive without her and keep on living. [Read: Nice guy syndrome – 16 reasons why girls find them boring]
#7 Give yourself a deadline. You cannot wait around pining over her forever. Not only is that not healthy or fair to you, but that is putting a lot of pressure on her, even if it is unspoken.
When you decide you want to get a girl with a boyfriend, give yourself a limit. When will you start trying to move on from her? Two months? Three? [Read: How to make a girl like you without asking her out]
#8 Tell her how you feel. As a last-ditch effort, ditch the subtleties and go for it. Tell her how you feel. Tell her you don’t expect anything from her and you want to respect her relationship, but you would always regret it if you didn’t tell her how you feel.
This is your chance to put it all out there and get an honest response. She may thank you and be flattered but turn you down so you can move on. Or she may have been avoiding feelings for you. Don’t expect her to know what to say immediately, but give her a couple of days to come to terms. [Read: The 15 blunt signs she wants you to leave her alone]
#9 Walk away. If all else fails and you know she is happy where she is, it is time to walk away. Whether you tried or not, accept that you have no control over her choices. You told her how you felt, you tried, but it doesn’t always work.
Now you can move on and find a girl who is single.
Learning how to get a girl with a boyfriend to ditch him for you can be hard, but it isn’t always necessary. If you really do like her, use this guide and hopefully, it’ll work in your favor if she thinks you’re the better man.