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Whether you recently caught feelings or just want to test the waters, it’s hard to learn how to flirt with a friend without making it weird.
Understanding how to flirt with a friend is not the same as learning how to flirt with a date or a complete stranger. When you make a move on a friend, there is more risk involved.
Are you going to make things weird between you? Are your mutual friends going to find out? Will there be drama? Are you just flirting or do you have a motive?
There is a lot to consider when you want to start flirting with a friend.
Learning how to flirt with a friend… what is your goal?
Sure, flirting should not require a bunch of premeditated thought. That is how flirting goes from fun and lighthearted, to weird and awkward real quick.
But, knowing what your endgame is in this situation can help you figure out how to flirt with a friend. If you just want to flirt to boost your confidence or to have a nice time, you can be a bit more laidback. If you don’t think too much of it, neither will they.
But, if you want to learn how to flirt with a friend so you can hint at your growing feeling for them, you may want to take a different path. Do you actually want to date them? Are you considering it? Do you think you know how they feel? Use these guide on how to text flirt with a friend and type your way into their heart!
On a completely different note, are you flirting with a friend in the hopes of seducing them or hooking up with them? Then, keep an eye on these 20 strong signs of sexual tension to know if you make each other horny so you know they’re interested too.
Every end result you’re looking for, calls for a different approach. At the end of the day, flirting isn’t just flirting, because everything depends on what you expect to get out of the flirting.
I know it seems like a lot, but when figuring out how to flirt with a friend, these are all things to think about. Flirting seems innocent enough, but it can be taken out of context, misconstrued, and even end friendships. So, a little bit of consideration beforehand is worthwhile.
How to flirt with a friend
Flirting with a friend may sound complicated, but once you think about your goal, it is actually easier than flirting with a complete stranger. You already know this person. You probably know their sense of humor and what they like versus having to just guess.
When you flirt with a friend, you have a whole relationship to go off of. You know which buttons to push and which to avoid.
Keep that in mind when taking these tips on how to flirt with a friend into account.
Don’t push each other on the playground, but tease each other. A little light teasing pushes your friendship into a more playful zone. Tease them about their taste in music, their lack of ability to eat spicy food, really whatever strikes your fancy.
Remember, you know this person so use what you know to take your conversation from normal to flirty.
Remind them that you are friends. I know that might seem like the opposite of what you want to do, but when you remind someone that you already have a connection and that they feel comfortable around you, it isn’t friendzoning you, it is creating a building block.
You can’t go back in time, unfriend this person, and start flirting on day one, so build off of the connection you already have.
3. Keep it light
Sure, maybe you are in love with this person, but take it easy. There is a chance this person doesn’t even know you are interested in the least.
Keep the flirting light. You can tell them they look nice, or slowly have deeper, more meaningful conversations, but don’t go from laughing at farts to telling them how their heart is yours.
4. Have hope
Whether your goal is to date your friend, just flirt, or have a friends-with-benefits type situation, always hold out hope. This is what will keep you in a good headspace while flirting.
Flirting with a friend is not so different than just talking to a friend. But if you are nervous, they won’t reciprocate your flirting attempts. And that means you are going to come off nervous and awkward which is fine for a stranger, but not someone you know. So always remind yourself you never know what will happen.
5. Have confidence
Confidence is something you can sense on someone, and when someone lacks it, flirting fails. Whether you are nervous, fearful of rejection, or using self-deprecating humor to flirt, these things are not enticing to someone you want to form a romantic connection with.
Whoever you are trying to flirt with, will feed off your confidence, and the flirting will be much more successful.
6. Go above friendship
Would you give your friend a ride to the airport? Sure. But, would you help them move into a seventh story apartment with no elevator? Make this friend stand out if you’re trying to woo them. Flirting doesn’t just have to be verbal banter.
Go above and beyond. You do not need to make big romantic gestures, but do things you wouldn’t do for just any old friend.
7. Make small gestures
Again, flirting is a subtle art. You do not have to go big every time. Showing someone that you know them and get them, with small acts of kindness are what really stand out. Sure, sky-writing is shocking, but how long does that feeling of excitement last?
Small gestures make a big impact. Watch their favorite show so you can spill the tea together. Put their favorite music on when they come over. Small things like that will not go unnoticed. And once you two have things in common to talk about, your friend would want to spend more time talking to you. As long as you build the sexual chemistry at the same time, your friend can’t help but see you as someone they’d love to date!
8. Check in
Make sure they know you care by checking in. Only someone who was interested in you as more than a friend really goes out of their way to check in.
Ask how their meeting or doctor’s appointment went. Is their mom struggling with the heating at her house? Ask how that is going. Take notice of the things your crush says in passing. It doesn’t sound like flirting with a friend, but it is.
9. Spend time alone
Without alone time, flirting will always be considered just friendly chatting. So pull them away from the group. Even if you just go buy the second round for the group, bring your special friend along to help. Sneak some flirting in away from everyone else.
This will pull your connection away from a group and focus on just the two of you which is more private.
Sure, you punch your friends’ shoulder or hug them, but putting your hand on their knee or placing their hair behind their ear is an endearing touch that is subtle yet means a lot more than friendship.
Of course, you do not want to take this too far. Be appropriate. But body language may be even more important than actual language when it comes to flirting with a friend.
11. Be subtle
Not so subtle that they don’t know you are flirting, but if you are taking a risk by trying to go from friends to more than that gives them time to get used to the idea. You have probably been pondering over this for a while so springing your interest on them suddenly will not go well.
Slowly introduce the idea of your interest in them by flirting a bit more each time you see each other. They will get the hint eventually, and then when it is time to see where things go from here they will already have thought about it.
12. Focus on them
In a group? Do not give them all your attention, but make it clear you enjoy their company. Be aware of how they are feeling and acting. Take their feelings into account. This person may not be your significant other, but if that is your end goal, treat them how you would if they were.
13. Let them vibe back
Do not take up all the air in the room. Sometimes being nervous makes us lose our words, other times it makes our flirting a nonstop ramble session. Make sure to hold back and let them flirt back.
Read their vibe. If they are feeling what you are putting out there they will respond positively, but if you don’t give them a chance, how will you ever know?
14. Argue playfully
You know those old married couples that argue about the silliest things but are so cute while doing so? You could be that. So, take some inspiration from those couples and bring it into your flirting.
Arguing about who the craziest person on The Bachelor is? Maybe you think grilled cheese and ketchup is a match made in heaven, and they think dipping a grilled cheese sandwich in ketchup is a food catastrophe.
15. Don’t flirt with other people in front of them
This confuses them. Even if they ever start catching feelings for you, the fact that they see you flirting with others would make them believe you’re not giving them any special or preferential treatment. Your friend may assume you just flirt with everyone, which works against you. And even if you do ask your friend out, they may assume you’re just toying with them or using them. Not good however you see it!
16. Don’t ever overdo it
Remember, you’re both friends before you decided to fall for this person. So, while it’s all fun and exciting to flirt and tease them, don’t overdo it. Your friend may feel smothered and confused by your sudden flirty and pushy behavior. You may like them, but they don’t know yet. So take it easy.
17. Connect with each other
Send your friend memes, stay connected over texts, and build a bond with each other that’s beyond friendship. Two friends can stay in touch all day, but when you share flirty or naughty memes and have inside jokes, that takes a regular friendship and turns it into a flirty one. Make your friend miss you when you aren’t around, and they will start to fall for you.
18. Make a move
Flirting cannot go on forever. You have an endgame, surely. So make a move. Maybe you bring them coffee every time you see each other? This time write a little note on the cup, asking them out on a date.
Maybe you give everyone a gift card for the holidays, but give them a truly well thought out gift. Make that one move that makes your feelings obvious. Without that risk, the flirting will just be that.
Learning how to flirt with a friend and not make it weird sounds like a difficult task. But as long as you take it slow and ease them into your feelings, things should work out just fine, or better than fine.