Singledom is not a punishment. It is not something to dread or mourn. You can learn how to enjoy being single and own your independence.
Learning how to enjoy being single is not as hard as it sounds. There is this huge misconception that being single is the worst thing you can be.
Our extended family, rom-coms, and novels constantly remind us that the sign of happiness and fulfillment in life is having a partner. Sure, a relationship can add to your life, but that is not the only way to be happy, fulfilled, or successful.
Although we are forced to dream about the perks of a relationship, there are so many perks of the single life that are often underrated and overlooked. [Read: What people fear the most about being single]
The benefits of learning how to enjoy being single
When I say you can enjoy being single, that does not mean you have to accept that you will always be single. It does not mean that is a choice you made and you can’t go back on it.
All I mean is you can be happy alone. We all know you can be happy in a relationship but it is forgotten that being single has its perks too. And, when you learn how to enjoy those perks it will be your taken friends that are jealous of you for once!
#1 You don’t have to suffer through first dates. First dates, although full of potential, are mostly nightmares. They are awkward and weird and sometimes gross. When you finally enjoy being single, you can stop forcing yourself to meet people for the sake of having a partner.
You can still meet people in all other ways, but first dates will no longer be the bane of your existence. [Read: Different ways to open up and make true friendships]
#2 You don’t need to suffer through dating apps. Dating apps are often just as bad, if not worse than first dates when it comes to dating. They are full of catfish, liars, cheaters, and just losers. When we find ourselves unhappy being single, we download one of these mind-numbing apps and swipe away.
Not only can these be bad for our psyche, but instead of perking us up about dating, they make us feel like crap. Once you learn how to enjoy being single, you can delete those accounts and enjoy your freedom on Saturday night.
#3 You don’t need to explain yourself. It may just be me, but I always hear my friends that are in relationships complaining about checking in with their partner. Whether they have to tell them where they are, where they are going, or who they are with, it sounds like a big responsibility.
Sure, there are benefits to it, but there are also benefits to having no one to answer to. You can flirt freely. You can dance with anyone. You can have friends that you had a history with. [Read: How to stay single until you’re seriously ready to mingle]
#4 You can build your confidence. When you are single, you have time to focus on yourself. You can decide what you actually want in the long run. You can decide who you want to be. And you can build up your self-esteem all on your own.
You won’t need reassurance from someone else. You can learn to rely on yourself. That way, if you do meet someone you want to date, you will be your own person. Dating can add to your life, but won’t define it.
#5 You get the bed to yourself. This may be a little surface level compared to the others and the many more single life benefits, but it is nice. Not having a sheet hog or a snorer in bed next to you will get you the best sleep of your life.
How to enjoy being single
Now that you know just some of the benefits you get once you learn how to enjoy being single, don’t you want to know how to get there? I bet you do.
#1 Make friend dates. When in a relationship, people tend to create distance with their friends. It isn’t something we do on purpose, but when you can stay in watching Netflix with your partner over going out, you usually choose to stay in. And for some reason, we all tend to choose our partner over our friends.
Now that you are single, enjoy the variety. Make dates with friends. Do things you wouldn’t have time to do while in a relationship.
#2 Own your stuff. In relationships, even the healthiest of relationships, there are things we hide or protect our partners from. Whether you hide your midnight snack behind the quinoa in the cupboard or don’t share your whimsical music taste, own that stuff.
You don’t need to impress anyone but yourself. Do what you love unapologetically. [Read: Steps to unfaking your life and love being you]
#3 Save money. Or spend it. You are independent and can make your own choices without getting permission or needing to check in with anyone, except maybe your financial advisor. So enjoy saving your money or enjoy spending it on yourself.
Relationships, although great, can absorb a lot of income. When it is just you, you have control of it all without guilt.
#4 Let go of the fairytale. This sounds harsher than I mean. Just because you are happy being single doesn’t mean you have let go of the idea of being with someone. All it means is that you don’t need that fairytale to happen in order to be happy.
It is always a possibility and you can always have hope, but instead of dreading the fact that you haven’t found your other half. Enjoy finding yourself.
#5 Plan your future for you. I notice that a lot of people only plan their future, buy a house, or invest when they have a partner to share it with. But it is your life and whether you have a partner or not, it is worth you putting your best effort in.
All the things you would do or plan for if you did have a partner, you can still do for yourself.
#6 Travel. Traveling does not need to be a relationship thing. You can go with friends, family, or even a social group. You can travel alone, when safe. There are so many amazing experiences to enjoy around the world. Too many people wait to have them until they have a partner to share it with.
Those things can change your life and impact you forever. You don’t need someone to hold your hand to climb a mountain or bungee jump. Doing those things alone can feel even more powerful and liberating. [Read: Inspiring travel destinations for soul searching]
#7 Delete the past. When you are down on being single, you tend to dwell on the past. You think about what you did wrong or how things didn’t work out. But, when you are happy where you are, you can be grateful for the past instead of bitter.
You can delete your exes on social media, delete your online dating accounts, and just move forward. Focus on now instead of then.
#8 Challenge yourself. People always say they want a partner that challenges them or makes them a better person. Why not be that person for yourself? You can challenge yourself and hold yourself accountable.
You don’t need someone else pushing you to be better or care more. You can do that for yourself.
#9 Do what you love. No matter how great a relationship is, no two partners will love all the same things. But, when you are single you can do whatever you love. You can watch synchronized swimming or eat ice cream with ketchup. You can play roller derby. You can fully enjoy whatever you love without any objection. [Read: 13 reasons you should be loving your single life]
#10 Focus on friends and family. Being single does not mean you are alone nor a sentence to loneliness. You don’t need a partner to be loved or to share things with. If you have friends, family, and pets, focus your energy on them.
These people are what make your life so full. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you are romantically alone, focus on all the ways you are not alone.
You can easily learn how to enjoy being single. But, it all starts with the desire to live the life you have.