Online dating isn’t easy, but some people are great at it. Why? Well, the only difference between you and them is they know how to date online.
When I was single, I ran to online dating apps. Sure, I could have met people on the street or through friends, but I wasn’t having much luck. So, instead, I thought I would give Tinder a try. At first, I had no idea how to date online.
I threw up some photos and waited to see what would happen. While swiping through Tinder, I met some really great people… others who weren’t so great. But that’s part of the dating world.
I wanted quick success, but it doesn’t work like that. Meeting people online is like meeting someone off the street, you don’t know what you’re going to get.
How to date online successfully
There are some things you can do to help yourself during your online dating experience. Because let’s face it, meeting people isn’t easy, and when you’re chatting with someone by a phone screen, it can sometimes be even more of a challenge.
Does this mean you should give up? No! I met my boyfriend of two years on Tinder, and I have a dating app to thank for connecting me to him. Whether you want a serious relationship or something more casual, these tips will help you find the right person. There’s no formula when it comes to online dating, but from my experience, these tips work.
If you can master how to date online, you’ll rule the world.
#1 Make the first move. Whether you’re a man or woman, if you match with someone, make the first move. Don’t wait for them to write to you. Instead, the minute you two match, send them a cute message. It doesn’t need to be fancy, or “unique,” your goal is just to make contact with them. Then, take it from there. [Read: How to get someone to like you online so you can meet in person]
#2 Respond! This is a major problem. If you match with someone online and they write to you, at least have the decency to respond to them. You can tell them you’re not interested, that’s fine, but reply to them. Dating is hard enough, and being ignored isn’t fun.
#3 Use high-quality photos. Don’t post half-faced images of yourself or ones where you’re blurred out. This is a dating profile, not an art installation. Use high-quality photos that show off your best features. If you’re trying to hide your face, that’s a big red flag for other people out there. [Read: How to write a dating profile that will set you apart]
#4 Easy on bragging. You may have a masters degree and work as a CEO, but that doesn’t mean you need to brag about it. Sure, you may meet people who are interested in you, but will they be the right person if all they care about are the things you brag about? You want someone who is going to like you for you.
#5 Go through their social media. Online dating can be a little stressful because you don’t know much about this person. But social media can help you get a better impression of who they are. Before meeting them, exchange social media profiles. You can go through it and see what kind of person they are.
#6 Keep your profile short and sweet. Though you want to be honest and show people who you are, no one wants to read an essay. When it comes to knowing how to date online, remember to keep your profile short and sweet. Yes, show off your best attributes and mention some things about yourself, but if they’re interested they’ll need to pursue you. Then, you can go into more detail. [Read: 13 ways to set yourself apart while writing a dating profile]
#7 No “lists.” On your profile, don’t put any “must have” lists. I’ve seen so many people list down what they’re looking and not looking for in a partner. Listen, you don’t know who you’re going to fall for, and creating a list is extremely limiting. Not to mention, you look like an idiot.
#8 Give different types of photos. No one wants to see 15 selfies that look exactly the same. Your profile should have pictures which show different parts of you. Have a body shot, a selfie, and some photos of you doing things you love. You need to create a profile that has depth, giving people the ability to see different sides of you.
#9 No lying. No, you don’t need to be a catfish. It won’t going to get you anyone. You don’t need to lie about your age, where you come from, or what you do for work. Be yourself. If you start lying, you’ll go down a rabbit hole you don’t want to be in. No lying. If someone you meet is lying, well, don’t proceed any further with them. [Read: How to recognize catfishing instantly]
#10 Show off your best qualities. Within a couple of seconds, someone will decide whether or not they want to speak with you. So, your profile needs to show off your best qualities. Basically, you’re marketing yourself. Share your interests, post good photos, show your social media; give them your all. [Read: The 30 best and worst words to use to describe yourself online]
#11 Be honest. When it comes to the online world, there are going to be some people who aren’t telling the truth. You’ll realize they’re lying soon enough. But what’s important is you approach online dating with honesty. You don’t need to tell them your life story, but be honest about what you’re looking for and want from a relationship.
#12 They may be different in person. When talking online, it brings out specific sides of you. Some people aren’t good communicators online, but in person, they’re amazing. Whereas other people can chat away online, but in person, they freeze. Your date may be different in person, so this is something you should expect.
#13 Keep deal breakers in mind. When we’re talking to potential matches, we’re usually focusing on the positive attributes, which is completely fine. You should look at the positive characteristics of people. But, you shouldn’t forget the deal breakers.
Create limits for yourself of what you will and will not accept. Save yourself time and energy knowing your personal boundaries from the beginning. [Read: 13 warning signs to look out for on the first few dates]
#14 Take your time. There’s no need to rush when online dating. I made the mistake of rushing into going on dates with men, and then finding out we don’t have anything in common or that they were insane. Take your time getting to know them a bit online before making the in-person jump. [Read: How NOT to online date – What every online dater must avoid doing]
#15 Expect rejection. There were times where I was chatting to someone online, and they would suddenly delete or unmatch me. I had no idea why. Maybe they met someone else; maybe they didn’t like me. At first, I was really hurt. But after a while, it became a reality. People are going to reject you, some of them will do it harshly.
Dating online can be tricky. By knowing these tips on how to date online, you’ll be able to improve your skills and rock the online dating world.