Dating is hard enough as it is, but when you are going on a first date with a friend, it can be even more pressure than usual. So, what do you do?
Dating is nerve-racking. It is confusing. You never quite know where the other person’s head is at. Sometimes you don’t even know where yours is. But, that is all doubled when you have a first date with a friend.
Taking friendship into the relationship zone is beneficial in so many ways, but the initial transition can be weird and awkward. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be.
Going on a first date with a friend
It is exciting to turn a friendship into something more and just to consider that idea. It is exciting to just go on a first date with a friend to see if you have chemistry.
But, with all that excitement comes quite an adjustment. After being friends with someone, transferring into a new territory can feel complicated or even wrong.
Remember on Friends when Ross and Rachel finally got together? She couldn’t stop laughing when they kissed. This is the adjustment I’m talking about.
You are used to hanging out with this person on a platonic level. Going from that to flirting, compliments, and even holding hands or kissing can feel strange at first.
To avoid that awkwardness, planning a first date with a friend that fits your vibe, with a touch of romance, is vital. You don’t want to go from friends to a candlelit dinner with flowers and violin music playing, but you also don’t want to do what you normally do together.
Create a balance of romance and friendship. That is what the basis of any healthy relationship is. It will also help you slowly ease into the more romantic side of things. You want to stay comfortable. But you can’t develop the friendship into something more without some changes.
What to do on a first date with a friend
If you are planning a first date with a friend, you probably get that balancing your platonic friendship and this newfound romance is important for keeping things feeling comfortable. How do you do it?
Well, here are some great ideas for a first date with a friend…
#1 Share your motives. The thing that makes relationships built out of friendships so strong is communication. This is someone you are already compatible with in one way, so keep it that way.
Be direct about what you want out of this. And be sure to get on the same page. [Read: The signs you’re dating your best friend and didn’t know it]
#2 Prepare for any outcome. You both may go into the first date with excitement and feelings, but not every first date is all rose and candles. The date could go south. You could realize you aren’t so great as more than friends.
That is totally fine, but try to accept that. Sure, you may still have some feelings or disappointments, but talk about if you want to try to stay friends after. [Read: The signs on a first date that reveal a total lack of chemistry]
#3 Talk about what sparked your interest. This is a great way to start the first date with a friend. Instead of just making the sharp turn into the relationship zone, introduce one another to what changed things.
Tell your friend when you first started to develop feelings and vice versa. This will give you both a glimpse into your attraction so you can hold onto that moving forward.
#4 Get close. As friends, you may be used to hanging out in groups or just on a platonic level all together. Now that you are on a date, get closer. Now, you want these moments to come naturally, but don’t hold back because of nerves.
You are friends. This person knows you so they will sense that. You don’t have to go right into a kiss but sit closer, maybe hold hands or brush up against each other. These small touches are intimate. They are an introduction into what could be to come. [Read: 13 friend zone hacks to get your friend to like you more]
#5 Use your history to your benefit. One of the worst things about a first date is the unknown. You go into it with little to no prior knowledge. When you go on a first date with a friend, you aren’t going in blind.
You get to talk about old times, inside jokes, and anything else you already know about the other person. But you don’t need to go through the basics of a traditional first date *siblings, job, school, etc*. You already have the basics down so you can get deeper more quickly.
#6 Learn more about each other. Just as you already know a lot about this friend, there is always more to learn. And the chances are that as friends, certain topics may have been off-limits. Now that you are on a date, open up more about what you’re looking for in the long run, your fears and dreams, and anything else. [Read: Subconscious signs of attraction between two people]
#7 Do something you’ve never done. As friends, I’m sure you have your go-to plans like movies, mini-golf, or parties with friends. But, since this is your first date with a friend try something new. Branch out from the norm for that tinge of excitement about it being a date and not just a regular hangout.
Try a new restaurant, explore a hiking trail, even take a mini road trip. You can do things you maybe wouldn’t do on a first date with a stranger because you are already comfortable with this person.
#8 Don’t drink too much. The nerves that come with changing the dynamics of your relationship can bring on the desire to lower those nerves with alcohol. Of course, it is totally fine to have a drink or two, just don’t overdo it.
This friend may have seen you drunk several times. However, this is still the first date! You want to make a good impression as a potential partner, not just any old pal. [Read: How to flirt your way back from the friend zone to the sexual zone]
#9 Laugh. Humor is what makes a date fun and easy. Humor is probably something you already share as friends. Make sure not to take yourselves too seriously. When making the transition from friends to more than that, you may be more serious thinking that is romantic. Laughter is what will connect you on all levels.
#10 Enjoy the moment. It can be easy to let the past sway you during your first date with a friend. You know a lot about their dating history and a side of them you wouldn’t have seen if you just met. Enjoy the moment without those thoughts.
Also, don’t look too far ahead. It can be easy for a relationship to take off quickly when you already have the basics out of the way due to your friendship. This relationship still needs nurturing and effort before it is the commitment you are hoping for. [Read: The tricky pros and cons of dating your friend]
#11 Kiss. I am not saying you must kiss on a first date with a friend, but it can be the night’s defining moment. Not only does the kiss ensure that the date was, in fact, a date, but it also gives you a vibe of what your physical chemistry will be like.
Going on a date with a friend does not have to bring on unwanted nerves or awkwardness. If you know how to handle it, it can be the best date you’ve ever had.