So, you’re in that euphoric stage where every text, call, or even the mere thought…
First dates can be brutal or they can be a breath of fresh air. Whether you want a second date or not, here are 21 texts to send after a first date.
First dates are always new territory. No matter how many first dates you’ve been on, you never know what to expect with someone new. Sure, sometimes things go south, but sometimes a first date can be a glorious start to something great. No matter which way it goes, you’ll want to know what texts to send after a first date.
Are you eager to see them again? Are you feeling unsure or do you want to make sure you never see them again? Any and all of the outcomes of a first date require a follow-up text. But it can be hard to know what to say. That’s what I’m here for.
Generic texts to send after a first date
It is okay if after the first date you aren’t completely sure if you want to see them again. Maybe the date was fine, but you didn’t have a spark. You may want to think about if you want to try again or move on.
That is totally okay. Don’t feel bad that you aren’t sure. But also don’t ghost your date because you aren’t sure what to say.[Read: 10 second date rules you need to follow to see if you’re a match]
Instead, here are some basic and more generic texts to send after a first date. With these, you can keep the lines of communication open until you decide whether or not you want to go on another date.
#1 “I had a nice time tonight. I hope you made it home safely.” There is nothing in this text that says you are super into them nor are you foregoing a second date altogether. This is a polite and friendly way to check-in after a first date when you aren’t really sure of your intentions.
#2 “I hope you had a nice time tonight.” This is another way to text after a first date without insinuating anything. With this, you’ll also get to feel out how the date went for them. Maybe if they felt a connection you’d want to give a second date a try, but if not you can move on. [Read: 12 reasons to be open and honest with your feelings]
#3 “That restaurant was so good. I’m glad we tried it.” Instead of talking about your lack of connection or confusion, just chat casually. Talk about the food, the bizarre waiter you had or how you already dove into your leftovers.
This keeps things pressure-free. Then, you can keep talking without jumping right into the possibility of a second date.
#4 “How was the rest of your night?” Instead of sending a text right after the first date, wait until the next morning. Sleeping on it could give you a bit more clarity. Plus, you’ll be able to ask them how the rest of their night went, which gives you more ambiguous talking points. [Read: Stop wasting time – the signs they’re not interested in a second date]
#5 “I’m swamped with work this week, but if you want I’ll reach out when things free up?” If you’re still unsure of a second date, let them know your stance sooner rather than later. You don’t want to get their hopes up, but maybe you need some time to think.
With this text, you’re not only giving yourself some time to ponder but you are also leaving the ball in their court. If they aren’t into it, they may respond by letting you know they didn’t feel a spark. Or maybe they’re eager to make another date, which can help you make up your mind.
Texts to send after a first date if you want a second date
That feeling you get when you are leaving a first date that went so much better than you expected is unmatched. There really is nothing like the excitement you get from a great first date.
But, that excitement can quickly turn into anxiety when you’re trying to figure what text to send after a first date to ensure a second date. You don’t want to seem too eager or too nonchalant. So, what do you say?
#1 “I had a great time. We should do it again sometime.” You can’t go wrong by keeping it simple and to the point. Start with something a little more general like this. If they agree, then try to nail down a more specific plan. [Read: How to flirt after the first date and create the right kind of sparks]
#2 “I hope you had as good of a time as I did tonight.” If you don’t want to go straight into asking for a second date, feel it out first. This is a great way to let them know you enjoyed yourself and want to make sure they did too.
#3 “That was the best first date I’ve ever had. Let’s see if we can keep that going with a second date.” This is a more fun and almost competitive way to ask your date out again. Trying to top your great first date can amp up your excitement and theirs.
#4 “Thanks for a great time. Maybe next week we can try that new restaurant you mentioned?” By bringing up something you talked about during the date, you are making things more comfortable and reminding them that you are actively listening. Offer to go somewhere they said they were interested in, like a new bar or museum. This will impress them. It most likely will get you that second date.
#5 “In case I forgot to tell you earlier, you looked great tonight.” Once a date is over, it is nice to know your date is still thinking of you. Sending this text after a first date will let them know you were awed by them. [Read: The complete texting and follow-up guide after a perfect first date]
#6 “Not to be presumptuous, but what should we do for our next date?” This is a great way to show your politeness and confidence all at once. You are making it clear you felt a connection and believe they did as well which can help them feel more secure.
#7 “I don’t want to seem too eager, but I’d love to go out with you again.” When you can’t help but want to ask them out again, it is clear you’re interested. Anyone who doesn’t want to play games will appreciate the honesty.
Instead of playing it cool and waiting days to reach out, letting them know you are already excited to see them again will make them happy. [Read: Strong feelings after a first date? How to read all the right signs]
#8 “Our first date went great, so there’s a pretty good chance if we go out again it’ll only get better. What do you think?” It is great to show your confidence after a first date, but you also want to make sure you are letting your date decide what they want too.
A perfect text to send after a first date is something like this because it is fun and intentional, but also gives them a pressure-free opening to answer honestly. [Read: 18 very obvious signs your date really likes you after the first date]
Texts to send after a first date if you want to end it
When a first date doesn’t go how you expected, it can get awkward. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but you also don’t want to lead them on. Instead of being a major jerk and ghosting, try one of these texts to send after a first date that just wasn’t ideal.
#1 “I had a nice time with you, but I don’t think we clicked. I hope you understand.” Keep it short and sweet and to the point. There is no need to write a novel explaining all the reasons you don’t want to see them again. This shows that you respect them and should be plenty after only one date. [Read: The best guilt-free excuses for how to cut a bad date short]
#2 “Hey, it was great to meet you but I’m just not feeling it. I hope we can stay friends.” If you liked your date just fine but didn’t feel that romantic vibe, offer up a platonic friendship. You don’t have to make plans right away but if you clicked over your love for a TV show, sports team, or fandom, this person could be a good addition to your friend group.
#3 “I don’t know about you but that wasn’t really the best date for me. Good luck with everything.” If you are okay with having a conversation with this person, then this text is a great one after a failed first date. You can get some reassurance that the date wasn’t great for them either and part ways on good terms. [Read: Stop wasting time – 15 signs they’re just not interested in a second date with you]
#4 “Good luck with your future dating adventures. Sorry I just didn’t feel it.” Send them off with well wishes and honesty. Remember, you’re not breaking up with them. You only just met. A simple text like this is perfectly fine after a not so great first date.
#5 “Hey I had a great time getting to know you but didn’t feel a spark. Maybe you’d like to join my friends and me for trivia night?” Once again, if you actually liked the person, just not romantically, let them know you’d like to keep hanging out but in a group setting. Invite them to trivia, your friends’ game night, or something similar.
This will feel less like rejection and more like gaining a friend you have something in common with.
#6 “Hey, you’re really great but I just don’t think we’re a match.” Offer a compliment before letting them down. You can keep it generic like this or be more specific like telling them how funny or stylish they are. Then let them know it just isn’t a good match. [Read: How long should a first date last? Your guide to timing it right]
#7 “Hey, I had a nice time, but I don’t want to lead you on. I’m not interested in pursuing this any further. I hope you understand.” When looking for the right text to send after a first date that wasn’t great, being straight forward is best. Letting them know you just want to move on and be honest right away can seem harsh. But they will appreciate the bluntness, especially if they’ve been ghosted before. [Read: Why you shouldn’t ghost someone and 5 possible situations where it’s okay]
#8 “It was really nice to meet you, but I don’t see this working out. Good luck out there.” A polite yet professional text is ideal to send after a first date. You’re not too comfortable with each other and owe them respect but not much more. Text them the same way you would email someone offering you a job you’re not interested in.[Read: How to turn down a second date with a non-awkward guide]
Figuring out the perfect texts to send after a first date can be hard depending on how it went. With one of these options, it’ll all be okay.