Falling in love is the easy part, staying in one is another story. You just need to know *and follow* these committed relationship rules.
Following a set of committed relationship rules doesn’t sound overly romantic or spontaneous, does it? But it’s the real stuff to making your relationship work when the honeymoon phase goes bye-bye.
A relationship is a full-time job
Most of us desperately want to be in a relationship, but when we’re finally in one, we freak out and find a way to sabotage it. Listen, finding someone and falling in love can be really scary. Once you move past the fear, it feels like you’re floating on cloud nine. It’ll be so easy, and everything will flow effortlessly.
Then, that beautiful cupcake phase ends, and you realize you’re in a committed relationship. Well, you always knew this was coming, but it’s more real now. The reason why it feels real is that you need to constantly work on it. [Read: 16 things you must do to stay in the Cupcake Phase]
Yes, I know, no one said this in the brochure. Being in a committed relationship is basically another full-time job.
Must-know committed relationship rules
Yeah, I know. You thought you’d only have to work one job for the rest of your life. But listen, it’s not ‘work’ in the sense that you need to pick up a shovel or sit at an office desk all day long. It’s a different type of effort.
When it comes to committed relationships, there are times when things will feel routine and loveless. Well, if you follow these committed relationship rules, then you won’t have to worry about those moments. Rules are in place for a reason. [Read: These healthy relationship expectations will define a good love life]
Even though you may not think you need to follow rules in a relationship, you do. I mean, the entire reason you’re in a committed relationship is that you want to be with only them, right? A rule right there. Bam! You’re in the big leagues now.
#1 Honesty is key. If you want to be in a happy and fulfilling relationship, this is the time where you’re going to have to be honest. If you’re not honest with your partner, who are you going to be honest with? Real talk, you know the answer. Honesty is a crucial rule to follow in a committed relationship. [Read: What secrets are you allowed to keep in your relationship?]
#2 It can’t always go your way. When you were single, the only person you had to think of was yourself. You did whatever you wanted to do and that was that. There weren’t big debates or negotiations, you made the decisions.
But now there are two people in the equation, which means you’re not always going to have it your way, and you need to accept that. [Read: How to compromise without losing in your relationship]
#3 Arguing is healthy. When we know that couples are arguing, we assume that they don’t have a solid relationship. But that’s not completely true. You’re going to argue with your partner, it’s only normal. If you think relationships are about “never fighting” then you’re not in a relationship with a human, they’re a robot.
#4 You need to constantly work. Like I said before, you need to constantly work on your relationship. If you want to have a happy relationship, you need to work on your relationship every day. The moment you slip and let your relationship take the second priority, then you’re going to have problems. Work on your relationship daily. [Read: The 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship]
#5 There’s no limit to expressions of love. When it comes to showing your partner your love for them, there’s no limit when it comes to expressing it. You can take them to dinner, buy them a gift, but remember, there are other ways to show love. Going for a walk with them, cuddling in bed, giving them a kiss before work. These expressions are endless.
#6 You two only know your love. Here’s the thing, when it comes to learning about the most important committed relationship rules, you may talk to your friends and family about your relationship but you and your partner are the only two people that understand your love. Don’t take the advice of others with too much importance. At the end of the day, you know what will improve the relationship. [Read: 16 common relationship tips that ruin your love life]
#7 Ask for what you need. Sometimes, there are moments where you’re feeling unsatisfied in the relationship. You may feel like you’re not being listened to or not spending enough time with your partner. These are needs that must be met, they’re important to you. So, if you’re not getting this, ask. Your partner can’t read your mind. Make it easy for them and just ask for what you need.
#8 Your partner isn’t perfect. This is something you’ll need to accept if you want to stay in a committed relationship. For some people, they can’t accept their partner’s flaws and their relationship didn’t make it. Accept your partner isn’t perfect because they’re going to make mistakes.
#9 Have the tough conversations. Honestly, no one likes the difficult conversations, but you cannot keep your feelings and thoughts to yourself. If you do, you run the risk of having them continuously reappear in the future. Deal with tough conversations right away. [Read: How to communicate with your partner and end the roller coaster]
#10 Try to be fair. When it comes to money, it’s important that you try to approach the relationship in a fair way. Don’t let your partner pay for everything, pitch in. Your partner may want to pay for everything, but show your appreciation by paying for things.
#11 Don’t slack off. If you would buy your partner chocolate or flowers every Friday, keep the tradition going. Whatever you did at the beginning of the relationship, continue to do it. If not, your partner will ask the “remember when you used to ____?” question. [Read: Understanding what makes a good relationship good]
#12 Like what your partner does. At least appreciate it. You don’t have to like the fact they still play Pokemon or wrestle on the weekends, but you do have to appreciate the passions in their life. If they love it, support them.
#13 Don’t memorize the stereotypes. When you were younger, you would read Cosmo magazine’s sex articles and absorb as much advice as possible. Don’t listen to Cosmo for sex advice. You need to really know important things about sex, pieces of advice that are actually true.
#14 Thoughtfulness goes a long way. People tend to forget the importance of small things. When you pay attention to your partner, listen to them when they’re having a bad day, these small acts add up. There is nothing more meaningful than truly caring about your partner. [Read: How to express your appreciation to someone you love]
#15 You can’t fix them. Your partner is flawed and so are you. But going into a relationship in hopes of fixing them into your ideal person isn’t going to happen. Love them for how they are, flaws and everything. If you’re trying to fix your partner, then you’re with the wrong person.
No one said being in a committed relationship was easy but come on, you’re not only one in it. Follow these committed relationship rules, and it will flow smoothly.