12 Real Signs You’re Feeling a Loss of Attraction for Your Partner

Not all relationships are alike. For some, the attraction lasts forever. For others, the attraction fades. Are you experiencing the loss of attraction?

As relationships continue, the attraction at some point will fade. For some, the attraction will last years and years before fading. For others, it’ll be sooner than expected. We get into our routines and things feel stagnant. This feeling of stagnation is what leads to a loss of attraction.

Of course, we would all like our relationships to feel like the very first time we met our partner. Where we feel butterflies and can’t keep our hands off each other. This is a high level of attraction, and it’s what makes us want to continue seeing the person. [Read: The signs you’re experiencing lust and not love]

The signs you have a loss of attraction for your partner

You may be asking yourself why? Well, as you grow as a person and an individual, your relationship keeps going strong. This is because you’re learning and experiencing new things together. But in this case, there could also be a loss of attraction. Where you simply don’t feel that connection as you once did.

Listen, no one said love was easy, and there’s certainly no equation to it. But what you do need to understand is if you’re feeling a loss of attraction. That way, you’ll know the next step you need to take. Love is a battlefield.

#1 Everything about them annoys you. Before, you loved the way they’d slurp when eating soup or the way they hugged you, but now, everything they do bothers you. You can’t handle the way they look at you, how they speak or dress, for you, you can’t take it anymore. But is this just a mask for something deeper? Does this mean it’s over or are you able to move past this? [Read: 10 strong reasons why love dies in a relationship]

#2 You think about other people. There could be someone at work that you find attractive or your partner’s friend. When you think about them, you feel butterflies, you can’t stop thinking about them. At this moment, your partner isn’t someone you’re really interested in.

Maybe they bore you or certain characteristics irritate you or maybe you’ve grown apart. But the key thing here is that your libido is functioning normal, it’s just that you aren’t attracted to your partner. [Read: What it means when you think of someone other than your partner]

#3 You don’t want to have sex with them. You don’t mind having sex. In fact, you enjoy having sex, but sex with them is no longer a desire for you. When something lacks in the relationship, people have less of a desire for sex with their partner.

In other cases, sex simply became boring. However, this doesn’t mean you’re not attracted to them. It could be that you have a loss of libido caused by stress or depression.

#4 You don’t think of them during sex. When having sex, your mind is in a totally different place. You think about other people, what you need to buy at the store, should you go to the gym, thoughts that certainly don’t need to be in the bedroom. Clearly, the sex has become routine.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re no longer attracted to them, it could mean that you need to light a spark in the bedroom though. [Read: How to make sex more interesting when it has become boring]

#5 You don’t know why you found them attractive. When you go back to when you first met them, you can’t remember why you found them attractive in the first place. In your head, you can’t seem to pinpoint what it was about them that made you give them a double take.

But this is where you start figuring out why you’re no longer attracted to them. You have to start somewhere, right? This takes some digging in your memory bank.

#6 Everything they say annoys you. Literally, any word that comes out of their mouth is stupid for you, even if they agree with your point. If you had it your way, you’d rather they didn’t speak at all. This is an important sign that you’re in an emotional state caused by a lack of attraction. You push them away and disconnect from their thoughts and opinions. [Read: 28 sad signs that reveal if your relationship is coming to an end]

#7 You don’t miss them. In the beginning, if they went to work for the day, you would be constantly thinking about them, missing every moment that they’re not there. But now, you could be gone for weeks and not even think about them or how they’re doing. If you don’t miss them when you’re apart, this could mean that you’re no longer attracted to them.

#8 You want to spend more time apart. Usually, couples want to spend more time together, but for you, you’d prefer if you had more space. And as time passes, the amount of space you have between each other increases and increases. This isn’t a sign of someone who’s attracted to their partner, this is a sign of someone who’s looking to become single. [Read: 15 tips to fix a broken relationship and make it last]

#9 Your future doesn’t include them. In the beginning, you only thought of your future with them in mind. Everything that went on in your head had them right beside you. But now, you make plans without them knowing and regardless of if they want to join or not. Basically, you’re already moving on from the relationship, you just haven’t made the final step.

#10 You stop sharing with them. You may have called them daily, telling them about your day and the things that happened. However, now, you’re not eager to share information with them. In fact, you turn to other people when it comes to getting opinions on things.

They’re no longer the first person you turn to, instead, they’re the last person on your list. Sharing is what creates intimacy and by cutting that, you disconnect yourself from them. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]

#11 When they go out, you don’t care. They’re going out to the club with their friends and when you were all goo-goo eyed for them, you would be freaking out at home, texting them a thousand times throughout the night. But now, they could go to a strip club and you wouldn’t blink an eye. In fact, you just don’t care what they do when they go out. [Read: The signs it’s time to break up, even if it is hard]

#12 They’re not funny. You may have fallen for their humor, but they’re no longer making you smile or laugh. This is a huge sign that you’ve lost attraction for them. The spark is gone. Let’s be honest, if they can’t make you laugh, well then why be in the relationship? A sense of humor is a huge characteristic people desire in their partners, and it’s probably why you liked this person in the first place.

Sometimes you’re not sure what you’re feeling, and you can’t really pinpoint what it means. But if you’re feeling less attracted to your partner, it looks like you have a loss of attraction.