One of the most highly researched things in the field of psychology is why and…
Sometimes we fall for people completely out of our reach, distance wise. So, what are you going to do with your long distance crush?
You can’t control who you have feelings for. There were some guys that I liked which shocked all my friends, even my parents. I couldn’t really describe why I liked them, they just had something that drew me. Maybe it was their sense of humor, the way they looked at the world—who knows. So, if you’re beating yourself up over the fact you have a long distance crush, don’t. It’s not your fault they live there and you live here. This is just life.
What to do with a long distance crush
Obviously, it probably doesn’t help that you think about this person all the time, and you can’t do anything… at least for now. I liked a guy from Australia. Yes, I know, far away. It’s not easy when you have an emotional connection with someone hours and hours away.
But there are things you can do to either propel the relationship or at least help you to process your emotions from a distance. Why can’t love just be easy?
#1 Is this a secret crush or do they know? Are you just drooling alone in your bedroom staring at their photos on Instagram or this is something they know about? If it’s mutual, it could work itself out for the better. You know, in the way you want it to work out. So, there’s a big difference between you liking them and reciprocated feelings. [Read: All the things to talk about with your crush and win their heart]
#2 What do they think about it? Have you two talked about your feelings? I’m not talking about you two just giggling with each other on the phone. I mean, have you sat down and specifically told each other your feelings? Maybe they feel the same way. In all honesty, regardless of what they say to you, it either pushes the relationship forward or gives you the answer you don’t want but need to hear. [Read: 35 flirty questions to ask to see if they re interested in you]
#3 So, they like you, now what? So, let’s say they tell you how they feel about you, they really like you. What’s the next step? If you’re in high school, of course, traveling across the world isn’t going to happen.
But if you’re in college or a graduate, you have the ability to travel. Do you both want to see each other? Now that the feelings are out on the table, it’s time to see whether or not you two will act on it.
#4 Think about if this is really what you want. Your long distance crush is now a relationship option. Which is great, really, I’m happy it’s working out for you. But now, the question of committing comes into play. Are you going to commit yourself to this person? Because by moving this “crush” into the relationship zone, you’ll make sacrifices. Crushes are fun, relationships are serious.[Read: Questions for yourself: Are you ready for this relationship?]
#5 They don’t feel the same way. The second option is they don’t feel the same way, or they do like you but don’t want to get in a long distance relationship. Don’t take it personally. If they invest the time in talking to you but don’t want to take a step forward for the relationship, they don’t want you bad enough. In other words, think of this as them doing you a favor.
#6 Distance yourself from your long distance crush. So, maybe they told you they just want to be friends. Great. Now, instead of continuing this drawn out long distance relationship, you need to cut it. I know, I know, it’s harsh. It’s gonna hurt and definitely sting, I’m not going to lie to you. But, if you’re not getting what you want from the relationship then you don’t need to be in it. At least for now.
#7 Cut social media. Now, you can still be friends with them, but not now. You need some time to separate yourself and give yourself time to get over this person.
The only way to do this is to cut social media. Well, keep it but delete or unfollow them. Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat—I know you’re going to be watching every single thing they do. It’ll be an obsession for you. You can even tell them that you’re doing this for a month or so just until you’re over it. [Read: 13 ways to wean yourself off social media]
#8 Don’t take it personally. You’ll take it personally, don’t. It’s not you. It’s obvious they have feelings for you if they invest time in talking to you. However, though you may think it works via long distance, they don’t. If they don’t want to commit, then it’s really fair of them to not get involved with you. Better than them cheating on you constantly.
#9 Refocus your attention. You were probably glued to your phone during this long distance crush. Refocus your attention on things disconnected to your phone. The more you’re on your phone, the greater temptation to check what they do, message them, etc. So, go to the gym, take a class, visit your friends. Refocus yourself in your actual environment.
#10 Accept it for what it is. If you don’t want to take a break from the relationship you two have, then just accept your crush for what it is, a crush. If you control your emotions and keep it flirty and fun, that’s fine. You just need to know your limitations with this person and what the relationship really is. Don’t think about the “what ifs.” If you do that, you’re no longer in control of your emotions. [Read: How to make long distance relationships work without the drama]
#11 Communication is key. I know you’re probably rolling your eyes at me since I say this about everything, but it’s true. If you feel stuck in this spot with your long distance crush, you must talk to them about it. If they really care about you, they won’t have a problem talking to you about this. Sure, it’s awkward, but aren’t all conversations based on feelings a little uncomfortable?[Read: The 10 myths people believe about long distance relationships]
Sometimes a long distance crush is harder to deal with than sitting next to the person you like. But, you’ll be able to work through it as long as you communicate with them.