So, you’re in that euphoric stage where every text, call, or even the mere thought…
If you think that a baby trap is the number one way to keep a guy, you need to question what you want your relationship to be.
For as long as women have been able to get pregnant *i.e. forever* there has always been the risk of a baby trap.
What is a baby trap?
A baby trap is when a woman intentionally tries to become pregnant simply to maintain her current relationship with a man. Or to hold on to a guy when their relationship is rocky or they feel insecure. In some rather worrying situations, to make sure that a guy chooses her over another woman she sees as a threat.
You might read that, shake your head, and wonder why women would even attempt this type of tactic. But you’d be amazed at the number who do. You know what they say, love makes you do crazy things. This is certainly up there with the craziest of ideas.[Read: 15 mistakes women make when they want a guy to commit]
The biggest reasons why a baby trap is not the answer
It’s obvious why a baby trap isn’t a good idea, isn’t it? I hope it is to you. Trapping a guy in this way will never bring you the results you want. That’s why I’m aiming to push this idea out of the mind of a woman who may be slightly considering it.
Hopefully, you’ll decide to work on your relationship in better ways, or simply realize that it’s going nowhere. Find someone who gives you what you need willingly.
#1 You shouldn’t involve a baby in your relationship problems. Anyone with a child will tell you that a BandAid baby, i.e. a baby born to save the relationship, rarely works. So, why would you want to involve an innocent baby in your underhanded tactics?
If a guy wants to be kept, believe me, he will be. Also, if he wants to leave, he will do so whether a baby is involved or not. You can’t force someone to be where they don’t want to be. You shouldn’t want to do so either. [Read: The most important things in a relationship that hold it together]
#2 It’s very possible you’ll get found out. Depending upon the situation, it’s quite likely that the guy in your life will suspect what you’ve done. If you find yourself pregnant, you might be on your own. Sure, a woman can raise a child alone, but do you really want that? I’m guessing not, considering your sole reason for getting pregnant in the first place was to salvage a relationship or keep a guy by your side.
As before, you cannot keep a guy where he doesn’t want to be, and it’s far better for him to choose to be by your side willingly than for you to attempt to force him. He’ll resent you forever if he finds out what you’ve done. [Read: How to stop the codependency for a healthy relationship]
#3 You’ll never know how he truly feels about you. If your relationship is rocky to begin with and you intentionally become pregnant to solidify the union, how can you ever be sure whether he stuck around for you?
Don’t you want to feel like you’ve been chosen for who you are *and not because you’re pregnant!*? You deserve that! A baby trap isn’t the way to feel secure or happy. Yes, you will have a child that will always love you and who you will always love. Wouldn’t you rather that happen naturally, when it’s something you both want?
#4 If you’re doing it to stop him choosing another woman, how will you feel if he still chooses her? Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants, and nothing will change its mind. If your guy is stuck between you and another woman. Maybe you’re not actually with him properly and he’s kind of seeing you both *shady, yes, but possible* then trying to baby trap him isn’t the right route.
Why? Because he might still choose the other woman and leave you co-parenting for the rest of your life. It’s not the right way to get someone to choose you. Quite frankly, you should never have to force the issue. [Read: How to stop being strung along by a guy and take a stand]
#5 Having a baby is HARD. You might think that getting pregnant will get the man. Maybe it will. Have you given any though to what comes afterwards? The sleepless nights, the messy diapers, the tantrums, and the problems? Yes, a baby is a wonderful thing but when conceived in love and at the right time in life, no matter what your situation.
It’s not a good thing to bring a baby into the world if you’ve given zero thought to how hard it’s actually going to be. It might also break your relationship after the baby is born. This has happened to countless couples before. The reason? Because it’s seriously hard work being a parent. [Read: 19 things you MUST do as a couple before even thinking of having kids]
So, what is the alternative?
Work the relationship. See what happens. I know it can be hard when you’re head over heels with a guy and things don’t go your way. But take it as a sign that it’s just not meant to be. Don’t force it. Because when you force things, it rarely ends well.
A baby trap isn’t the way forward. You’ll more likely create a possible mess that you’ll have to clean up. Then, down the road, you have to explain to your baby why their dad isn’t around or why you’re not together.
I’m not a downer on babies here. Sometimes accidental pregnancies happen even when a relationship isn’t in great shape, but the point to remember here is that it wasn’t a trap. It happened naturally, and you have your own choices to make. When you intentionally baby trap a guy just to keep him where you want him, it’s underhanded to say the least.[Read: 10 things you do that sabotage your love life]
You’re also underselling the millions of women around the world who have given birth and brought a child up. You simply shrug your shoulders and think, “oh, I’ll just have a baby, that’ll fix the problem.” It shows that you know nothing about how hard parenthood can be.
Of course, if you go through with it and you end up pregnant, you’ll find out for yourself how hard it. Perhaps, you’ll wonder why you did what you did. That’s not to say you won’t love your child, because of course you will, but you might wonder how things would have been if you’d simply stuck with it and saw how your relationship worked out naturally. [Read: The clearest signs it’s time to give up on your relationship]
A baby trap is never the right route. Falling pregnant accidentally is something totally different. Accidents happen. Then we have to make our choices accordingly. But, if you decide beforehand to intentionally become pregnant, either by intentionally not taking your contraception or sabotaging the protection that you use, you’re falling into negative territory. Take a long, hard look at yourself and what you’re doing.[Read: Am I manipulative? 11 behaviors showing you manipulate people]
You might think that a baby trap is something that simply doesn’t happen these days. But you’d be surprised at the number of women who intentionally become pregnant in order to keep a man.