You finally found someone you can see a future with but are now struggling…
Every relationship drifts into a slump from time to time. But what makes it strong is its ability to get out of a relationship slump and back on track.
Ah, yes, the relationship slump. You never think it’s going to happen to you until one day you wake up and bam—there it is.
Most of the time, you don’t even realize it’s happening until it’s too late. Though may think it’s a reason to freak out, calm down. All relationships go through their ups and downs; it’s only normal. You’re with one person in a committed relationship. Sometimes the excitement dwindles, and the spark cools off.
But this isn’t anything to worry about; you don’t need to break up with your partner this very minute. If anything, it’s a wake-up call for you and your partner to reevaluate the relationship and get back on track.
14 ways to get out of a relationship slump
Relationships take a lot of work, and sometimes we get so caught up in work, and the daily routine, we forget about putting in the effort into our relationships. But by recognizing the slump you’re in, it’s a good time to change. Now, you can work towards getting out of the slump and back on track.
Since you’re here, you may not know exactly how to get the relationship out of its slump. Don’t worry; it’s a good question to ask. If you’re not sure, it’s great you’re reading this. I’m going to tell you everything you need to know about getting out of your relationship slump and back to enjoying the pleasures of being in a relationship.
It’s not all rainbows and puppies.
#1 Relationships go through phases. You may have been through a slump before, and you know what? That’s perfectly normal. You and your partner are both going through your own journeys, and this will affect the relationship.
There will be times where you will be very connected and other times where the relationship will be a little cold. Remember, relationship slumps can occur from time to time.
#2 Accept the relationship rut. You’re in a relationship slump, right? Right. Accept the situation for what it is. If not, you’ll continue to live in denial without addressing the actual problems. Talk to your partner and tell them how you’re feeling. If you feel the relationship isn’t where it once was, they should know. Maybe they’re feeling the same. Communication is the first step to progress.
#3 It’s a two-way street. If you’ve told your partner you feel the relationship is in a rut, and they agree and want to work on it, great. But the work cannot come only from you. Relationships are a two-way street, and if your partner isn’t putting in equal effort, this isn’t going to work.
#4 You may need to change. I’m not saying you must change who you are, that’s not what I want you to do. But you may need to accept constructive criticism from your partner. Maybe they feel you’re not communicative enough. In that case, work on your communication skills.
Change doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but if you find these goals are negatively affecting you, make sure these goals aren’t changing who you are.
#5 Try new things with your partner. Yes! It’s time to bring back the spark in your relationship. Do something exciting together. Have you tried rock climbing? Parasailing? Hiking? You don’t need to jump out of an airplane *unless you want to*, but try new things together and create new memories.
#6 Relationship slump doesn’t mean you become clingy. People often think that to get out of a rut, they need to spend more time with their partners. That isn’t the case. Getting out of a rut doesn’t mean to smother your partner. Focus on spending quality time with your partner instead. Just because you’re in a rut doesn’t mean you can’t be your own person.
#7 Be more thoughtful. You don’t need to buy your partner a fancy car or the new iPhone to show love and thoughtfulness. Packing them lunch in the morning or sending them flowers at work are small gestures that show them you care. People focus on small acts of kindness, not big ones.
#8 Do activities your partner enjoys. And vice versa, of course. If you want to reconnect with your partner, do things they enjoy. If they’re big on kayaking, grab a paddle and spend the day paddling around. It’s important you show them support in what they love doing, and vice versa.
#9 Go down memory lane. Where was your first kiss? Your first date? The first time you said “I love you?” Revisit the places where you shared positive memories, and look at the good moments you shared together. Not only will it make you feel all mushy inside, but it’ll show both of you why you are together.
#10 Get spicy in bed. You don’t need to bring out the heavy BDSM equipment just yet. But usually when the relationship is running a little dry, so is the sex. Try role-play, a new position, or have sex in public. Explore each other’s sexuality and have fun. Talk to your partner beforehand, and see if there’s something new they’d like to try in bed.
#11 Work on affection. When the relationship is dry, we’re usually not as affectionate as we once were. But, being affectionate towards your partner has many benefits. By being affectionate, it increases oxytocin, which is the hormone for intimacy and love. Hold hands, give each other kisses, and caress each other while watching a movie. It’ll work, trust me.
#12 Weekly date nights are a must. Ah, yes, date night. No, this doesn’t mean Netflix and Chill – that’s not a real date night. Cook dinner together, rent a hotel room for the night, or spend an evening watching the sunset. Leave the television, leave Netflix, and leave your phone. This is the time for you and your partner to reconnect.
#13 Practice self-care. If you don’t love yourself, how can you love someone else? When you’re not able to love and care for yourself, it affects your relationship negatively. Spend time doing things that make you happy and work on your self-esteem. When you love yourself, you’re automatically more positive and affectionate. It all works together.
#14 Evaluate the relationship. If you’re doing everything you can, and still nothing is changing, perhaps you should look at the relationship and see if it’s really for you. If you’re finding that you have drifted in different directions, that’s okay. What’s important is that you’re honest with yourself.
Being in a relationship slump is going to happen at some point in your relationship. What’s important is how you work together to get back into a healthy space.