One of the most highly researched things in the field of psychology is why and…
Knowing how to make guy friends without the fear of them trying to get with you is super valuable to all women. Here’s how to keep things platonic.
The truth of the matter is that guys and girls can definitely be friends without venturing into romantic territory. Those who believe otherwise just don’t know how to make guy friends who only want to be platonic. Although it’s not all that hard, many women just don’t know the steps to get there.
Because let’s be real: guys who are approached by a woman typically think she’s interested. And while some of them may be, there are girls out there who just think a guy is cool as a friend. They don’t have any physical or emotional attraction that’s romantic at all.
Guys can sometimes be the problem
Not all guys are issues when it comes to trying to be platonic friends. However, there are some out there that, no matter what, will try to have some sort of relationship that’s less than innocent with a girl – even if she’s doing everything right.
When that happens, you really just have to accept the fact that those guys don’t want anything but your body. It sucks, but it’s reality. Those aren’t guys you truly want to be friends with, anyway. [Read: 10 creepy guy types you need to avoid talking to]
How to make guy friends without fear they’ll try to get you in bed
If you’re an attractive woman, this is going to be very hard. Unless you’ve grown up with many guy friends, it’s difficult to actually make them later on. Take it from someone who knows a thing or two about making male friends and ensuring they don’t try to hit on you. Here’s how you can still have male friends without worrying about them trying to get with you.
#1 Don’t flirt. The second you flirt, you open the door to anything but a platonic relationship. I know it’s stupid, but that’s how guys are. If they sense that you’re into them, they’ll immediately latch on to that and hold out hope.
It can be difficult to avoid flirting if you’re naturally a flirtatious person. Your best bet is to just think a little harder about what you say and the way you say it if you just want the guys to think of you as a friend. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and girl]
#2 Talk about interests. Try to appeal to them on a level that their friends would. Don’t talk about stuff you’d discuss with a crush. Instead, focus on talking about something they’ll want to talk a lot about. Let them carry the conversation in this sense. Bring up their interests and let them do the talking.
#3 Avoid any discussion of relationship matters at first. The fastest way to get a guy to think of you as a girlfriend and not just a friend is by talking about relationships. The second you bring it up, he’ll start to wonder what you’d be like.
That’s not good for you. He might decide you’d make a great girlfriend and from that moment on, he won’t treat you platonically. He’ll put on his boyfriend pants and try to woo you. Just avoid relationship talk so he won’t even think about it. [Read: 10 definitive signs it’s time for the relationship talk]
#4 Make your intentions very clear. And be more clear than you think you need to be, but don’t go overboard or they’ll get offended. If you repeatedly say you don’t like him like that, it’ll get super annoying and offensive.
Instead, just make your point and make it very clear, but only once or twice. Once that point is across, they’ll have a hard time trying to have anything with you since they know you definitely won’t be into it.
#5 Open up a little. You can be vulnerable with them, but you have to remember not to get mushy and girly. Guys aren’t like girls. You can’t really talk about the same things on the same levels you can with other girls.
But you can definitely open up to the guys and talk a little bit more about yourself. This shows them that you trust them and once they feel that, they won’t want to betray it. [Read: How to get someone to open up so you can really connect]
#6 Ignore any jokes at the expense of you being a female. They will make them. They might even try to make some sexual jokes but you just have to ignore it. If you don’t pay any mind to it, they’ll realize it and stop. But reacting to them will only fuel their fire.
#7 Insult them. This can’t be done right away, for obvious reasons, but after you’ve been talking a little, insult them a bit. Poke fun at one guy in front of his friends. This shows that you’re not into him and aren’t really concerned if you hurt his feelings.
Get a feel for the way they insult each other and just get in on the fun. This helps you feel like, “one of the guys” and they’ll see you this way, too. [Read: 33 creative insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm]
#8 Don’t worry about how you look. Because if you’re not looking to date any of them, does it really matter? If you’re dressing to the nines and smelling like you just stepped out of a candy store, guys will assume you want the girly attention.
If you’re only looking to be friends with them, avoid looking your best all the time. You can definitely dress comfortably and in something you like, but if they sense you’re trying too hard, the game is over.
#9 Don’t be overly interested in their lives. It’s fine to want to know what’s going on, but if you ask too deep of questions, they’ll think you’re into them. And that won’t help you keep things platonic.
If they mention something of importance in their life, go ahead and ask them to elaborate. You just want to avoid questions that would delve into relationship territory.
#10 Have something to offer. You have to have a reason for them to keep you around. This isn’t to say you have to bring brownies every time you visit them but to offer something. If all you do is sit and complain about girly stuff, they won’t want to be your friend in the first place. [Read: 16 ways to realize your true worth and what you have to offer]
#11 Be really funny. Guys in general really like a girl who’s funny. If you can make them laugh, they’ll want you to be around for a long time. Work on your guy humor and focus on jokes that poke fun at them and mesh with their senses of humor.
#12 Accept that some guys just can’t be friends with girls. This is entirely their fault, not yours. Some guys see a girl trying to be friends and automatically assume they want to date them. There are certain guys who just can’t be friends with a girl. You just have to accept that and move on if it’s the case with the guys you want to be friends with.[Read: How to be just friends with a guy when he wants more]
Knowing how to make guy friends can come in handy if you’re the type who doesn’t particularly like or get along with many other women. These tips can help you make friends while also ensuring they don’t try to get with you.