If you’ve recently escaped a narcissist, celebrate your bravery. Forget wondering how to make a narcissist regret leaving you. They never will.
When someone treats you badly, it makes you sad, makes you cry, and basically makes your life a living hell. You feel you can’t rely upon your own sanity. It’s completely normal to want to get your own back a little, which is why you’re wondering how to make a narcissist regret leaving you.
Some call it revenge, some call it karma, but either way, it’s a method of proving that you’re not someone to be walked all over. But, ask yourself this question, is it worth it?
Isn’t it the best revenge that you’re free of it? Isn’t it the best revenge that you have a future so bright it’s blinding now they’re out of your life? [Read: How to set boundaries with a narcissist and weaken their hold over you]
Don’t go down this rabbit hole
Narcissism seem to be on the rise. Nobody knows why. The bottom line? Having someone in your life who pulls you down and controls you for their own ends is basic emotional abuse. Genuine narcissists, i.e. those with Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), are actually suffering from a mental illness. A personality disorder which forces them to act in a certain way.
Real narcissists are actually rare, but there seems to be a lot of people running around this planet of ours who display narcissistic tendencies, and cause emotional havoc wherever they go.
If you were in a relationship with a narcissist and they left you for whatever reason, be grateful and let it go. It’s easier said than done. Believe me I know, but in time you will see that they actually gave you the greatest gift possible. [Read: Why do narcissists ignore texts and do the selfish things they do]
If you’re wondering how to make a narcissist regret leaving you, perhaps you want to know how to get your own little bit of revenge, then my advice to you is to forget the idea. A narcissist will never see the error of their ways, because in their mind they’re never wrong. You’re wasting your time. [Read: How to quickly spot narcissistic traits in a relationship]
Why a relationship with a narcissist is doomed to failure
There is a very good reason why the overwhelming number of narcissists, or those displaying narcissistic tendencies, end up alone. It’s extremely difficult to have a relationship with someone in this space. It’s borderline impossible to be in a healthy emotional state yourself while dealing with this type of person.
A narcissist will use you for their own benefit, convince you that you are wrong and they are always right, perhaps isolate you from your loved ones. They will make you seriously question whether you’re going insane or not. You will never be able to have a happy and carefree connection with a narcissist, because you will never be able to do anything right.
A narcissist is a deeply troubled person. They have low self confidence despite their bravado and do whatever they have to do in order to keep you there with them. All of this is why it’s quite surprising when a narcissist actually decides to be the one to do the leaving. [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism people overlook until it’s too late]
The fact that a narcissistic person has left you usually doesn’t mean the end of the story. It could very well be another trick they are using to keep you in their lives. But, if it’s not, run away from this person as fast as you can! Start a life with someone who deserves you.
Believe me, I’ve been there, a relationship with a narcissist isn’t a healthy thing, and it’s never going to bring you happiness. You might love them to the ends of the earth, but they’re not going to give you what you need. You’ll never be able to give them enough of what they need either. Nobody can. [Read: What it really means to be in a relationship with a narcissist]
How to make a narcissist regret leaving you
Okay, I’m going to backtrack a little here but for good reason. I’ve said that there’s no point in wondering how to make a narcissist regret leaving you because they will never second guess their decisions. Once a narcissist has made a decision and acted up on it, they’ll never admit they were wrong.
What they may do is turn it around on you and make you believe that you actually inadvertently left them. By that point, you’ll have had your eyes opened and know the truth of what they’re trying to do.
So, while you might not actually get them to admit that they regret walking away from whatever connection you had, you might be able to at least make them think about it a little. That doesn’t mean you should go back to them. Oh no! It means you should put yourself first, walk away with your head held high, and thank your lucky stars that you got a second chance at a relationship away from the controlling and emotionally damaging life a narcissist would have given you. [Read: How to get a narcissist to walk away from your life]
What are your best steps forward?
The best thing to do? Cry a little, grieve, and rely upon your friends to help you through the time you need. At the end of the day, whether right or not, it’s still a break up and it will be raw for a while. Take the time to get over the ending, and then pick yourself up.
See everything for what it was. Do not blame yourself. Force yourself to think back over those bad times, and rely upon your friends for support while doing this. If you feel you need professional support during the aftermath, by all means go and get it. Many victims of narcissistic connections do require some kind of professional help once the relationship is over. If you feel you need this, go for it. [Read: Narcissist and empath – Why they’re a match made in dating hell]
Once you’ve seen everything in the cold light of day, it’s time to put plan YOU into action. Focus on your health, eat a varied and healthy diet, join the gym or go to an exercise class, get outside and enjoy the fresh air, make sure you get enough sleep every night, and kick out any unhealthy habits, such as smoking or drinking too much. Then, once you start to feel wonderful on the inside, it will no doubt show on the outside too. What do you do then? You get out there and enjoy your life, that’s what!
Enlist a group of your closest friends and head out there and enjoy social time. You no longer have to worry about what someone else is thinking about it all. But, don’t do all this to make the narcissist regret their actions. It’s about doing it for number one – you. This is all part of your healing process. It’s something bound to strike a nerve with your ex whether you actually mean it to or not!
The final step in all of this is to make peace with the experience and never go back. It’s possible at some point your ex will come back into your life and try and be the charming person you met at the very start. [Read: The hoovering games narcissists play to suck you back in]
You have seen a different side to them and that is what you need to hold in your mind at all times. Do not be tricked again. You’re worth more than that.
Thinking about how to get a narcissist to regret leaving you is a waste of your precious time and energy. Instead, focus on yourself: be healthier, happier, and enjoy your life.