How Not to Be Boring in a Relationship As You Start to Settle Down

Once you’ve dated for a while your relationship can grow dull, but you can learn how not to be boring in a relationship. Keep the spark alive!

Whether you’ve been together six months, six years, or sixty years, you can learn how not to be boring in a relationship. Keep going strong.

Once the novelty of a new relationship wears off, we get into a routine or as some may call it, a rut. It happens. When you see each other every day, you stop getting dressed up. You lounge around and veg out.

This is totally normal. But, it can feel sort of blah. When you’ve been dating for a while you can feel stuck. You already know a lot about your partner. It is easy to fall into what is comfortable.

You come home from work and it is way easier to put on sweats and watch The Real Housewives than it is to get dressed and go out on the town.

The thing is that you don’t have to be boring in a relationship. You can have fun in a relationship no matter how comfy you’ve gotten. And that doesn’t mean you must get dressed in your best outfit and go to a crowded bar or club.

There are tons of ways to prevent being boring in a relationship. Keep the spark alive in a way that feels right to you and your partner. 

[Read: Here’s how to rekindle your love and bring back the spark]

Is your relationship boring?

You’re worried your relationship is getting boring. And that is a good sign. Making a change and keeping things fresh and exciting shows you are invested and willing to work on your relationship.

But, are you actually boring? You might assume that because you reached that point where you just stay in and watch Netflix every weekend that you’re boring. That isn’t necessarily true.

You can go out every weekend or even try new things and still be boring. If you stay in, but you talk and laugh and surprise each other with a home-cooked meal or prank your relationship, you could be just as fun as ever.

If you do just sit at home and watch Netflix and do nothing else, it can get boring. That is the difference. It is in how you treat each other. Do you still flirt? Do you compliment each other? And do you still try to learn more about each other?

With that, you’ll feel if your relationship is getting boring even if you can’t describe why. That is when you shake things up. [Read: 15 common reasons why so many couples get bored with their relationship all the time]

How not to be boring in a relationship

Being boring in a relationship is easy. Being not boring is where your creativity comes into play.

Some people may come up with elaborate dates, scavenger hunts, or expensive gifts. Others will do something small and from the heart. Figuring out how not to be boring in a relationship isn’t about what others can see. It’s about what makes you and your partner excited.

#1 Accept this happens. Before you try to fix anything, realize that boredom happens in every relationship, even healthy ones. It is a natural part of any relationship. Once you get to know each other and are comfortable, it is easy to let that be the steering focus.

Know there is nothing wrong with you or your partner. This is just a passing phase. [Read: How to keep a relationship going when you feel it slipping away]

#2 Flirt. Once you get into a committed relationship, the flirting can cease. Those tingly butterflies can stop fluttering. A small compliment or even teasing can do a lot for the morale of your relationship.

Compliment your partner on their outfit, their taste in home decor, or their strength or determination. Just changing up the fact that you’re used to each other and reigniting those nerves and blushing cheeks can amp up your relationship. [Read: Cute relationship goals every couple should have on their bucket list]

#3 Talk to each other about it. The easiest way when it comes to knowing how not to be boring in a relationship is to talk about it. If you just stew in this concern alone, not only will nothing happen, but you’ll feel worse about it.

Tell your partner you feel like you’re in a rut. You want to do something to spice things up. Throw out ideas and even make a list.

#4 Try something new together. Trying something new together as a couple can remind you of why you are so connected in the first place. Go to an escape room, volunteer, or even do something wild like skydiving.

Taking risks, learning something new, and even being competitive with each other can boost the feelings you already have. [Read: 17 amazing ideas to rekindle your love and ignite the spark again]

#5 Teach each other something. Learning something together helps with your bond. Bonus! Your attraction can gain a lot from teaching each other something new. You get to be awed and impressed by your partner and learn something in the process.

Teach them how to change a tire, build a website, or even fold an origami napkin.

#6 Do something spontaneous. Spontaneity is different for everyone. One couple may take off to Mexico for the weekend. Others might go to a movie without buying the tickets online first.

There is nothing wrong with either of those scenarios or anything in between. Whatever excites you and your partner and is out of your routine or unplanned will feel new and stimulating. [Read: 18 tips that’ll make you way more spontaneous in life]

#7 Try role play. This can be sexual or not. Role play can reignite a spark that may be dimming. Long-term love and the chemistry and passion from a new love interest differ.

Meet your partner at a bar and pretend to be someone new. Have an accent and new name. Act as if you’re meeting for the first time. Maybe it is a blind date or an in-office romance that is frowned upon. This can really be exciting while maintaining your level of comfort in other areas. [Read: 30 naughty questions that’ll instantly bring the sexy spark back in love]

#8 Hang out with other couples. Sometimes just the two of you doing things is what makes it so easy to fall into a routine. Go on double dates. Incorporating other couples or friends in your plans can make things exciting.

Not only do you get to see other sides of each other, but you get to meet new people and really expand your relationship outside of your house.

#9 Unplug. It is so easy to check your email while with your partner and get pulled in by social media and apps. Take a day during the weekend or even a few hours in the evening to shut down and just be together.

Turn off your phones and even the TV. Play a board game or just talk. Even cleaning together or building an Ikea desk can connect you more than sitting together on your phones. [Read: How to show someone you love them with more than mere words]

#10 Do small things. The small things in relationships make the biggest difference. Surprise your partner with flowers or a love note on the fridge. Text your partner throughout the day so they know you’re thinking of them.

Simply reminding your partner with small touches, notes, or bringing them their favorite treat at work can do a lot of good for your relationship.

[Read: How to show affection in a relationship if it doesn’t come naturally]

Knowing how not to be boring in a relationship is all about your feelings for each other. Remind each other that the feelings are still there and as strong as ever and it’ll make all the difference to your relationship.