How to Be a Wingwoman: 16 Rules to Help Your BFF Hook Her Crush

Your friend has her eye on a cute guy but is too shy to approach him. Well, that’s where you come in. Step it up and learn how to be a wingwoman.

We usually hear about wingmen who are men who help other men out in getting women. But we rarely hear about wingwomen. Well, that’s about to change because you’re going to learn how to be a wingwoman.

There are going to be times where your friends will need a helping hand in the men department. You may be outgoing and confident, but your friends are a little shy to approach a guy. Now as a friend, this is an opportunity for you to get some brownie points and help a girl out. Maybe she just needs a little nudge in the right direction. That’s what you’re here for. [Read: 15 signs of a best friend that makes them stand apart]

How to be a wingwoman

When it came to men, my friends were amazing wingwomen. They didn’t necessarily have to help me with approaching guys—I was pretty good at that. But they did help me out by chatting with the guy’s friends. There are tons of ways to be a wingwoman to either a male or female friend without stealing the spotlight.

Being a wingwoman isn’t about taking over the conversation or flirting with the guy she likes, it’s about taking a back seat and supporting her in whatever way you can. She’ll never forget the moments where you helped her talk to the guy she liked. It’s the ultimate selfless act. Well, sometimes… if he has cute friends then it’s certainly a win-win for the both of you.

Everyone needs a wingwoman in their life.

#1 Don’t be a matchmaker. This isn’t about matchmaking or about finding her a guy and helping her plan a date with him. A wingwoman is someone who provides immediate help. Basically, you’re helping her achieve her goal. If her goal is to make out with the guy, get his number, or take him home, you help her get what she wants. [Read: All the signs of a great friend and BFF]

#2 Don’t force her. You’re not trying to get her to hook up with anyone unless she specifically tells you that. A wingwoman isn’t someone who forces others to do things. Your job is to support her and help her take the next step forward. She may need a nudge but not a push. If she’s not looking comfortable then back off, let her decide what she wants to do.

#3 Pick out the best guy. She may have a guy in mind that she likes and if she does, try to connect the two of them. But if she has no preference, then choose the best guy in the place. Don’t reserve him for you, that’s not cool. [Read: 16 types of guys to avoid like the plague]

#4 This isn’t about you. I know this is a hard one. But when you’re a wingwoman, you’re a wingwoman. If this was about you getting attention, it would be called something else. You’re providing her a wing of support which means you’re taking a backseat and letting her shine. This doesn’t mean you can’t speak to him, you can, but know your place in the conversation.

#5 Be the one who looks like a fool. Now, no one wants to look like the awkward one, but if things get awkward, you need to take on the embarrassment. You want your friend to succeed with this guy in whatever way, so if something embarrassing happens, you’ll be able to swoop in and save her. Your job is to make her look like a shining star.

#6 Help when the conversation goes south. She may be talking to the guy she likes and you’re seeing that the conversation is going nowhere. If you want to know how to be a wingwoman and save her, you don’t want to see her struggling in front of the guy she’s into. So, when you notice that the conversation is on its last leg, get in there and help her out. Make an excuse to pull her away or distract him while she is figuring things out in her head.

#7 Don’t be flirty. You’re not there to flirt with the guy she likes, you’re there as a support. You can be friendly and you should be friendly but don’t cross the line and become flirty. You’re not trying to hook up with him. Show him that she has warm and sociable friends around her. This will only benefit her and his impression of her. [Read: How to keep the conversation going with the opposite sex]

#8 Be aggressive, be, be aggressive. Sorry, I watch too many cheerleading chick flicks. You need to be aggressive. No, you don’t need to get up in his face and body slam him into the wall, but you need to show that you’re not joking. If you approach him, be straight up with him. Now, he may not respond the way you want him to and if not, just move onto the next one.

#9 Talk her up. You’re a wingwoman for your friend. And if she’s not approaching men, it’s because she fears rejection. No one wants to get rejected but it will happen at least once. You need to talk her up and build up her self-confidence. Remind her of the good qualities she has and if she does get rejected, help her move on. You need to show her it’s not the end of the world. [Read: 15 signs of a one-sided friendship]

#10 Distract his friend. If she’s going to be talking to a guy, keep his friends busy. If not, they’ll try to break up the conversation so that they can continue hanging out with him. Instead, introduce his friends to your other friends or spend time chatting with them. The longer you keep his friends away, the more time your girl has to get to know him.

#11 Let him know she’s amazing. If you end up exchanging some words with the guy, don’t forget to tell him how amazing your friend is. Tell a story about her to show off her personality. Maybe she has a cool job or an interesting hobby. Take the time to make her look like the star she is.

#12 Remind her of her goal. When we’re really nervous, we can completely forget why we’re doing what we’re doing. If she’s talking to a guy, she may all of a sudden freeze up and forget that her goal was to get his number. If you want to know how to be a wingwoman, and a good one at that, remind her of her goal. Before taking to him, or even in the middle, politely interrupt and remind her to get his number or his Facebook.

#13 Have an escape plan. Before you help set her up with a guy, make sure you have an escape plan figured out. This will help ease her anxiety knowing that she won’t be left to fend for herself. If there’s an awkward moment or she’s not interested in her guy, come up with a text or a gesture that she can make to alert you she needs help.

#14 Know when to leave. There’s going to be a moment where she’s in full conversation with the guy and everything’s going great. So, you’re not needed right now. Instead of standing beside her, know when it’s time to give her some space. If you just linger around, it’ll make her feel bad, and she may end the conversation to spend time with you. Go to the bar and have a drink instead.

#15 Your job doesn’t stop. Maybe she ended up going home with the guy or she received his number. You need to be available to help her out the day after. She’ll have questions on how to text him, what to say, and how to respond. Your duties as a wingwoman don’t end when the clock strikes twelve. [Read: How to follow the BFF code]

#16 Have fun with it. When it comes to being a wingwoman, don’t let it take you over. You should be having fun with it and seeing it as a light and fun experience. Plus, you get to practice talking to guys as well, so it can only benefit you at the end of the day. Just don’t take it as your job because it’s not.

[Read: How to choose the best wingwoman]

Knowing how to be a wingwoman definitely has its perks. Not only will your friends be forever grateful but you can use these skills in other areas of life too. See? Everybody wins!