Having feelings for someone that doesn’t share them or that you shouldn’t necessarily be having…
You wanted something casual without any strings. But you’re starting to see signs your hook up has feelings for you. How do you know what they want?
Everyone always asks me how they can maintain a causal relationship with someone. My best advice is to learn the signs your hook up has feelings for you. If you can head it off early, it is easier for both.
But, it’s not easy. Sure, movies make it seem like you can keep it casual and have mindblowing sex, but it doesn’t usually work out like that. In reality, someone ends up developing feelings.
I’ve been in a casual relationship where I ended up falling hard for the guy. Of course, I made the mistake by sticking in the relationship and hurting myself in the end.
When you’re in the moment, it’s not always easy to take a step back and do what’s right for you. But you’re not in that position. You’re the one who has the power. [Read: Casual dating vs serious dating: What do you want?]
The 16 must-know signs your hook up has feelings for you
I’ve also been on that side of the coin, and believe that’s not an easy position to be in either. On the one hand, you’re noticing that this person likes you, and wants to be with you. You also realize that you don’t want to be with them, but you like the arrangement you have.
It’s hard, but you’re going to need to be the bigger person. But before you jump a couple of steps ahead, figure out if your hook up has feelings for you. From there, make the decision of what you’re going to do.
A fling isn’t always just a fling.
#1 You two text… a lot. When it’s casual, you would only text your partner to plan a hookup. But you are texting a lot. If you can’t stop texting them, maybe you should take a closer look at how you feel. But if they’re texting you non-stop, it’s a clear sign that they’re developing feelings for you. [Read: How to know if you can handle casual dating]
#2 They call you. Texting is one thing, but they take it a step further by calling you. Nowadays, people won’t answer their phones, let alone call people. But for them, they have no problem giving you a call. That’s because they feel very comfortable around you.
#3 They sleepover. If you have a casual hookup, sleeping over should be one thing you never do. Once you two have sleepovers, the odds of someone catching feelings increase. If they sleepover after every night, they like you. [Read: The rules you should be following if you want to keep a casual relationship casual]
#4 You’ve met their friends. There are some situations where you accidentally meet their friends, and in those cases, it’s okay. But if they’ve purposely introduced you to their friends, there’s a reason why. No one gets their friends involved in a hookup. They only do this if they like you and want their friend’s opinion.
#5 They’re nervous. Before, they were very calm and cool around you. But now, you notice that their behavior has changed. They become nervous and anxious around you. And there’s a simple reason why they’re acting like this: they like you.
#6 They take you out on dates. Hookup buddies never go on dates. Come on, you know this. If you are going on dinner dates and “couple” activities, well, someone is catching feelings. The only people who go on dates are those who are dating. [Read: Dating material vs a hookup – 12 signs to split them apart]
#7 They do small things for you. Though you may not be paying attention to the little things they do for you, you should be. Whether it’s bringing you takeout or driving you somewhere, those little details show they care for you and want to make you happy.
#8 They’re jealous. You may have mentioned someone else of interest, and instead of acting happy, they became jealous. Hello! Why would they become jealous if it was only a hookup? You know the answer. No one is jealous without reason, they like you.
#9 They remember the details. When someone doesn’t care about you, they don’t invest their attention in what you say to them. They only pay attention to things that benefit themselves. But if someone has feelings for you, they’ll remember the small details. That’s because they’re listening to you, and it’s one of the really strong signs your hook up has feelings for you.
#10 They show PDA. No hookup couples are going to show PDA. Why would you? First of all, you don’t go out in public, and second, you aren’t a couple. Right? Well, if they’re packing on the PDA with you, they like you… a lot. They don’t mind showing people they’re into you. [Read: How to read the signs your casual relationship is getting serious]
#11 They offer to hang out with you and not hookup. Maybe you’re not feeling like having sex, but that doesn’t stop them from spending time with you. They can hang out with you and not have sex with you. That’s because they enjoy spending time with you. And this means they like you.
#12 They always reply. With hookups, you always run the risk of the other person only contacting you when it’s convenient for them. You may write to them, but they won’t reply until they want to. But if your hookup always replies to your messages, they care about you. And… they like you.
#13 They tell you personal things about themselves. A hookup relationship doesn’t consist of late-night talks. You are supposed to hook up and then part ways until you hookup again. If they’re telling you personal information, then they obviously trust you.
#14 They drop subtle hints. They may not have the courage to tell you directly that they like you, but they will subtly drop hints about how they feel. Maybe they avoid talking about other people or will drop subtle hints. Either way, they dig you.
#15 They talk about the relationship. This is possibly one of the biggest signs your hook up has feelings for you, and clearly shows their interest in you. If they sit you down and talk about the relationship, well, that’s a sign that they want to know if it can progress into something more. [Read: 19 sure signs of falling in love to watch out for!]
#16 You feel it. There’s something deep inside of you that knows something has changed. You can’t necessarily explain it, but it’s an energy shift. If there’s something you feel that’s changed, then you’re probably right. This is your instinct telling you what’s up.[Read: Subtle signs your fling is turning into a relationship]
After looking at the signs your hook up has feelings for you, what do you think? You need to make a decision: break it off or talk to them about it.