We see it on TV and movies all the time, but how do affairs start…
Not sure if you can really trust her? Here are the 15 signs your girlfriend is cheating on you, and it’s not all in your head.
As someone who has been cheated on numerous times I can tell you, it sucks. It straight-up sucks. The worst is if you look back and realize you ignored the signs your girlfriend is cheating on you. Not only are you heartbroken and betrayed, but you feel like a fool for not figuring it out.
Why are you looking for signs your girlfriend is cheating on you?
Before I get into the actual signs your girlfriend is cheating on you, make sure you aren’t going all James Bond on an innocent young lady.
If you’ve been cheated on or lied to before, it can sour your view of everyone else you date. It can leave you feeling bitter and expecting the worst in everyone.
If you have trust issues, figure out if you really have a gut feeling that your girlfriend is cheating on you or if these are baseless fears brought on by your past… not your girlfriend’s behavior. Don’t blame your girlfriend for your dating history. If you are paranoid and dealing with severe trust issues, you will find vague signs your girlfriend is cheating on you that don’t even exist.
I know it is hard not to be emotionally invested in your significant other’s behavior. But losing all practicality when it comes to cheating can ruin a relationship and destroy any level of trust you may have started with.
You don’t want to go looking for signs your girlfriend is cheating on you when there are none to find. This sort of behavior can lead to you becoming manipulative, possessive, and controlling.
So, figure out if you have deep-seated trust issues or if there is actually weight to your suspicions.
If it is your past coming back to haunt you, share your struggles with your partner. Don’t accuse them. Let them know you realized you still have trust issues from your past. Share how you are working through it but need their patience and understanding.[Read: How to live your best love life with these healthy relationship boundaries]
Signs your girlfriend is cheating on you
If you have a feeling your girlfriend is cheating, it can be hard to let it go. You want proof so you don’t feel crazy. But you don’t want to risk your relationship without a clear cut reason.
If you’re in that pickle, it is time to get a new perspective. Look for signs your girlfriend is cheating on you. Remember though, noticing just a sign or two from this list could mean absolutely nothing. But if you see more than a handful of them, it’s a pretty good possibility that she’s cheating on you. Use these signs, but be careful, you may not like what you see.
#1 She is on her phone more than usual. There are plenty of reasons she could be on her phone more than usual. Is she waiting to hear back from a new job? Is she working on a huge project or dealing with family drama?
Be practical about this. If she is constantly on her phone, checking for alerts or typing away without a reason you know about, it could be a sign your girlfriend is cheating on you. [Read: How to deal with your girlfriend texting another guy]
#2 You haven’t been spending as much time together. Relationships go through ruts. And if you recently went long distance or she got a new job, that takes up a lot of time. Remember, be reasonable.
If she has been too busy to spend time with you, it could be that she has her time occupied with someone else. Usually, if something like your time together is going to change, she would clue you into why. If she isn’t, she could be hiding something.
#3 She is buying you nice things to distract you. This is something both men and women do to get you to focus on something else. If your girlfriend is cheating and afraid you’ll find out, she may go above and beyond to make up for the guilt. Plus, it makes you less suspicious. [Read: 20 sneaky signs your girlfriend is looking out for someone else]
#4 She changes plans last minute. Some people are just flaky. But if this is new behavior for her, infidelity could be the cause. Don’t go nuts if she cancels once or twice with good reason. However, if she cancels your date night repetitively and can’t make plans you’ve had scheduled for weeks or months, something is up.
#5 She seems stressed or on edge. If your girlfriend is normally calm, cool, and collected but has recently been worked up, on edge, or uncharacteristically anxious, it could be a secret.
#6 You don’t go out together. If you used to go out to happy hour together or have a date night once a week but she has pushed you to stay in, she may be hiding something from you. Maybe she doesn’t want the person she is cheating with to know she is cheating or doesn’t want to risk bumping into anyone.
#7 She takes her phone everywhere. A girlfriend who isn’t cheating wouldn’t even think twice about leaving her phone alone with you. She’ll let you use her phone to make a call, google something, or play a game. But if she takes her phone with her to the bathroom, across the room, and has it glued to her more so than usual, there is a reason for it. [Read: Beware of these obvious signs of a cheating girlfriend]
#8 She is jealous of you. A cheating girlfriend will project her feelings onto you. She knows she is capable of cheating, so she may accuse you of doing the same thing. This is a form of manipulation to deal with her own guilt.
If she can attack you for cheating, she may be able to excuse her behavior.
#9 She picks fights. A major sign your girlfriend is cheating is her likelihood to start fights with you. She will likely nitpick at small things to distract you from her behavior.
#10 Her friends don’t come around as much. When someone is cheating, it is a huge lie to keep. So, it is unlikely that her friends don’t know. If they used to come around the house or you used to go out as a group but haven’t seen them lately, it may be to prevent a slip-up. [Read: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner in the act]
#11 You’ve hit a dry spell. If she is getting satisfied by someone else, she may not be eager to have sex with you. Whether she is losing interest in you or is just not in need of it because she is getting it somewhere else, a dry spell could be a sign of cheating.
#12 You’re not a priority. If your girlfriend has stopped worrying about your needs and preferences, she could be overwhelmed with work. If there hasn’t been a major life change you know about, could she be cheating?
Has she stopped making dinner and started ordering out? Has she changed her look but not when going out with you? [Read: 25 truthful reasons why women cheat so easily]
#13 The little things go missing. I don’t mean your keys go missing, but the little things that kept your relationship alive. Did she leave little love notes on the fridge for you? Maybe she stopped surprising you with your favorite dessert? Do you have traditions or inside jokes that seem to be forgotten lately?
#14 She is defensive. If you mention your concerns, even subtly, and she goes off the handle, she may be overcompensating. When someone starts a fight with you for simply sharing your concerns or fears, there is something going on. [Read: The 14 reasons why people get defensive and how to handle them]
#15 You just know. Sometimes you just have to trust your gut. That is really the only sign your girlfriend is cheating that can’t be explained away.
With all of this, there are some things you shouldn’t do when looking for signs your girlfriend is cheating on you.
Never look through her phone, computer, or her drawers. Not only is that an invasion of privacy, it will only drive you crazier and make you feel worse. I know you want the hard evidence. But going out of your way will only backfire on you, and leave you more paranoid.
Trust your gut and communicate your fears and go from there. Hopefully, you can figure out the signs your girlfriend is cheating on you. I hope she isn’t.