When Does an Ex Start to Miss You? The Bittersweet Truth Revealed

When a relationship ends, you are dealing with a lot of mixed emotions. You may even ask, when does an ex start to miss you? So, when?

While you are going through those confusing post-breakup emotions you may begin to wonder, when does an ex start to miss you? Is your ex thinking about you right now? Are they thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about them?

No matter how a relationship ends, there comes a time when you start to miss your ex. Whether it is a long-running feeling or a passing thought, it happens. Even if you ended on the worst of terms, there are always going to be things you miss about them.

Are they struggling with the breakup or relishing in their newfound independence? These are all questions we ask ourselves when a relationship ends. But, what are the answers? [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works]

Why do you wonder when an ex starts to miss you?

It is perfectly normal to wonder when an ex will start missing you. We all do it. It is a natural part of getting over an ex. But, why do we do it?

Is it just part of missing them? Do we hope they are missing us? Do we doubt they are missing us? Do we secretly want to get back together? Or, do we want them to be in pain as justice or revenge for hurting us?

There are plenty of reasons to ask ourselves when does an ex start to miss you, but are they good reasons? Sure.

As long as you don’t dwell too much on this, you’re fine. If this is something you think in passing or find yourself wondering about, that’s fine. But, if you are constantly struggling with this and find yourself stalking your ex online and checking to see if they watched your posts, your reason may be unhealthy. [Read: Is my ex still thinking of me? Here’s how to read all the right signs]

If wondering about your ex missing you is taking over your focus and preventing you from moving on, you may want to rethink some things. Your ex is your ex for a reason. You can wonder when they miss you, but drawing too much attention there will only lead to a longer grieving process.

So, try to think about why you are wondering when your ex will start to miss you. Is it a normal and healthy reason or are you hung up on them? If so, try to take extra steps to move forward. [Read: 30 steps to take to help you make it through a breakup]

When does an ex start to miss you?

Now that you know whether your reasoning for answering this question is healthy for you or not, you can move forward with discovering the answer.

When exactly does an ex start to miss you? Well, I cannot offer you an exact date. This is not a movie release or due date. All people and relationships are so different it is impossible to predict when an ex will start to miss you.

Will it be a few days after your breakup? Or perhaps a few weeks? Or, maybe they cheated and were distracted by someone else for a while, but that didn’t work out and now they miss you? Maybe they will miss you immediately or maybe not until what would have been your anniversary.

Who knows? But, what I can say is that it will probably be around the time you start to miss them. [Read: 16 clear signs your ex wants you back and can’t stop thinking of you]

All breakups are different, and at first, we tend to be angry or simply in shock. But, once we move to the next stage of grief, things change. Depending on how often you saw your ex, after a few days or weeks apart, it really hits you that the relationship is over.

Even though you know that ending things was right and that you don’t belong together, even the worst relationships have their good times. Those memories stick with you. You miss their place in your life and that comfort or routine you had.

There is a saying or assumption that every time you think about someone, they are thinking about you. That is not scientifically proven, but you can presume that your relationship mattered to both of you and that when you miss your ex, they miss you too.

They are probably going through the same thing as you and wondering if you’re missing them. No matter who initiated the breakup, your ex will start to miss you eventually. [Read: How to help your ex move on and get over you for good] 

Does it matter when an ex starts to miss you?

With all of this, does it really matter? With this knowledge, are you going to reach out to them? Missing each other is just a step in the process of a breakup. It doesn’t really change anything.

Sure, it can feel good to know your ex is thinking about you. But thinking too much about this can make you miss them more, which is an unhealthy cycle when trying to get over someone.

I know what it feels like to know your ex thinks about you. Even once you have moved on, knowing they still miss you can feel like a little boost to your ego. Knowing they liked your Instagram photos or ask your friends about you feels good. It’s like knowing your arch nemesis from high school is jealous of your life now. [Read: 16 subtle signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it]

Maybe it isn’t the most progressive and mature feeling in the world, but we all have our moments of weakness. And it doesn’t have to be more complicated than that. Missing an ex and having an ex miss you is just that. Missing someone doesn’t mean you want to or should see each other.

I’ve been single for a while and although there are still times I may miss an ex or wonder about them, that is all it is. So whether you think your ex is missing you or not, it shouldn’t affect you or your future. [Read: Reasons why your ex might want to be friends with you]

All knowing if or when your ex will start missing you will do is give you a happy feeling for a moment. It feeds your ego but is nothing but a surface level of instant gratification. In the long run, it doesn’t mean much. Next time you are wondering if your ex has started to miss you, instead of trying to find out or overthinking it, analyze your own feelings. Why are you so worried about this?

Do you still feel that you need their approval or attention to feel confident? Do you need more time to move forward?

Look back at your relationship and remind yourself why things ended in the first place. Think about how much better off you are now. You can appreciate the good times and even miss certain moments or things about your ex. You can expect them to miss you too, but do not dwell on this.

[Read: 14 things to keep in mind when you bump into your ex]

That relationship made an impact on you and you will always have those memories, but is it really so important to know the answer to the question: when does an ex start to miss you?