When Does a Man Emotionally Mature? 13 Signs He’s Grown a Real Pair

You’re tired of fuck boys. Aren’t we all? You’re waiting for and wondering about when does a man emotionally mature. Well, here’s how you know.

The question we all really want an answer to: when does a man emotionally mature? When I was 18, I thought an emotionally mature man would be 24 or 25. I clearly learned the hard way. I waited year after year, hoping that the guys who were a little older than me would be emotionally mature, but alas, I was sorely mistaken. My guess is that you’re probably in the same boat I was in.

It’s a lonely ride and you’re probably trying not to capsize from all the fuck boys surrounding you. I get it. Now, of course, there are some men who are more mature at their age, but we can’t fight with science. They’ve come out with some grueling numbers. [Read: The clues you might be dating a jerk]

When does a man emotionally mature

Here’s the thing, men don’t emotionally mature until they’re around 43-years-old. Now, women fully mature at 32. While we mature later, we still beat men by 11 years.

Does this mean you need to date a 43-year-old man? No. There are men younger than 43 and relatively mature for their age. Of course, they’re not easy to find. You need to keep your eye out for specific signs that show you whether or not this guy can act his age.

With this all being said, emotional maturity can develop in a relationship as well, they just need the right partner. I know you’re all eager to find out. 

#1 He can communicate his needs. If he’s mentally a boy, he’ll struggle with expressing his emotions and needs in a mature way. However, a man who’s emotionally mature can have uncomfortable conversations with you in hopes of reaching a positive conclusion. Getting a passive-aggressive text isn’t the sign of a mature man. Regardless of the topic, he can sit down and discuss it with you. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]

#2 He accepts his feelings. There’s this idea going around that men shouldn’t express their emotions as it’s a sign of weakness. However, that’s the mentality of an immature man. Instead, a mature man has no problem expressing his emotions and doesn’t refrain from showing them. They’re aware of the consequences of what happens when you suppress how you feel. [Read: Do men have feelings? Why they act like they don’t care]

#3 His friends are emotionally mature. You cannot be an emotionally mature man if the closest people around you are immature. How can you grow in that environment? If you want to know if a man is emotionally mature, look at his friends. They’ll give you a decent insight as to how they are as people. You are who you hang out with, so, if you’re unsure about your man, look at this core group of friends.

#4 He wants to grow. I’m not talking about height. A mature man wants to continue to grow and learn things, not only about himself but about his partner as well. History repeats itself and he knows that.

By pushing himself to grow and be open with himself, friends, family, and you, he’s focusing on tackling issues in his past and working on becoming a better person. [Read: 25 signs and qualities of a really great boyfriend]

#5 He listens. Usually, when an emotionally immature man is listening to you, he ends up explaining how you should fix it without you asking him for help. If you’re talking to someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you need something fixed, sometimes you just want an ear. An emotionally mature man will recognize when you need a comforting shoulder and when you’re asking for advice.

#6 He respects your boundaries. A fuck boy will push your boundaries in hopes of getting only what he wants. He’s not concerned about you or your feelings and this is a sign of an immature man. But an emotionally mature man will respect your boundaries. Whatever they may be. You have these boundaries for a reason. He may question why you have them but this is only so he has a better understanding. [Read: The indisputable signs a man displays when he’s in love]

#7 They see emotions as strength. Men are terrified of being vulnerable because it’s been drilled into our heads that it’s a weakness. However, part of being emotionally mature is understanding that vulnerability requires actual strength. They’re able to leave their ego at the door and admit that they need help or support during hard times. Everyone goes through a hard time but an immature man will not be able to handle it.

#8 He can share with you. Many men are simply scared to share their true feelings and opinions with a woman. They don’t want to be seen as weak or be taken advantage of. I understand that fear because we’ve all had it.

But at some point, in order to connect with other people, you need to share your feelings without feeling ashamed. However, this happens only when a man is emotionally mature enough to take that step forward. [Read: How to identify immature people before you get hurt]

#9 They can talk about hard topics. Having vulnerable and honest conversations aren’t easy and all of us try to dodge those moments if we have the opportunity. But that doesn’t make a person grow. What makes a person grow is hard conversations which require vulnerability and honesty. Men are not emotionally expressive, so, to truly be emotionally mature, they need to push through that.

#10 They support you rather than put you down. Regardless of your ideas, a mature man isn’t focused on putting you down. Instead, he wants to support you with whatever you decide to do with your time. An immature man will take your goals and dreams and knock you down, teasing you or insulting your goals. This is what we call an asshole and not an emotionally mature man. [Read: Clues that indicate someone has emotional maturity]

#11 It’s not just about hooking up. An immature man will see an encounter with a woman as just a hookup. Now, this doesn’t mean an emotionally mature man will not hookup, but they will be respectful and honest with you right from the beginning. If they see a woman they truly like, they’ll view her as someone who’s more than just an object. They view her as a person, someone who’s an emotional being.

#12 They face their fears. Everyone has fears. Immature men will run from them and never stand up against the things that scare them. However, a mature man knows that to grow as a person, you need to conquer your fears and move forward. Having fears is one thing. Knowing how to face them is completely different. [Read: The dreaded signs your guy is never going to grown up]

#13 They understand priorities. Immature men will not realize the important things they have in front of them. You may be dating an immature man. He doesn’t spend quality time with you and instead uses you whenever he pleases. But an emotionally mature man will recognize what he has in front of him. He makes sure the things he loves are a priority.

[Read: 15 things immature men do and why you need to avoid them]

Now that you know the answer to when does a man emotionally mature and how to tell they have, it’s time you paid more attention to the next guy you date.