Use These 12 Habits for Texting in the Early Stages of Dating

Texting in the early stages of dating isn’t easy, especially when you don’t want to screw anything up. Here are 12 texting habits you should have.

Are you caught up in the early romance of dating? It can feel uncertain, wondering if they really like you or not. Luckily, you have all the information you need to help you develop healthy habits for texting in the early stages of dating.

The early stage is pretty sensitive because you aren’t a couple yet. Naturally, I know you want this person to like you back and want to be with you, so there are a couple of things you should do to make sure you play it cool and have them come to you.

It’s easy to get caught up in feelings and excitement. Follow these tips, and you’ll be able to text the person you’re dating with ease. [Read: How to start a conversation over text and get them texting back]

Texting in the early stages of dating: 12 texting habits to have

When I was growing up, texting wasn’t even a thing. In fact, you had to pay per text message! I remember texting for my first time, and thinking, “this is never going to become a thing.” I was so wrong. Within a year or two, I found myself texting like crazy and driving my dad’s phone bill through the roof.

It wasn’t until much later I was texting with guys I liked. And let me tell you, there wasn’t any rule book to teach you how to text someone you liked. I would write essay-length messages, ask question after question. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. I was so annoying. But that’s not the point! [Read: The early stages of dating and how to navigate the dos and don’ts]

Who said texting someone you like was easy?

#1 Take a deep breath. Yes, you like this person, and you’re all excited, but chill. Take a couple of deep breaths, and take it easy. If you work yourself up, it’ll get you overthinking everything you say. The person you’re dating should never be up on a pedestal. They’re human, and if they don’t like you, that’s okay. There’s someone out there who will. [Read: How to be better at dating and enjoy every step along the way]

#2 Don’t text obsessively. I know talking to them all day long is fun and exciting, but you also have a life outside of your phone, right? Being overly available isn’t a good look. Why? Because it’s waving the “I’m codependent” flag. Do you have anything else going on besides texting them all day long? I know you do, and they need to see that.

#3 Texting shouldn’t replace face-to-face contact. You’re in the early stages of dating; this is the time where you should spend more time with them in person than over text. You need to see the person they really are, not the one they’re showing via text or social media.

Texting can be used to talk about everyday things, but it should mainly be used to arrange in-person dates. [Read: What to say on a first date to keep it light, easy and flirtatious]

#4 Don’t question your messages. When we like someone, we want them to think we’re funny, smart, and all the other good qualities people have. And when you’re texting someone, you want them to see these qualities.

But that doesn’t mean you should be second-guessing every message you’re sending them, making sure it doesn’t offend them, or turns them off. Don’t question what you write, just make sure it’s honest.

#5 You both need to initiate conversation. If you’re the only one who’s doing all the texting, that’s not a great sign. I think we’re all guilty of being that person, and that never ends up well. In a healthy texting relationship, you’re both comfortable enough to initiate and carry on a conversation. If you see you’re the one putting in all the effort, stop. [Read: 15 unwritten rules of texting you both need to remember]

#6 Reply when you have time. That’s right. You don’t need to stay glued to your phone. If you’re at work or at school, keep those activities a priority. When you have time, text the person you’re dating. You don’t need to play games, but you shouldn’t jeopardize yourself to send them a text message.

#7 Use actual grammar. I know this sounds lame, but you need to use proper grammar and spelling. A typo here and there isn’t a big deal, but people like to read sentences they don’t need to decode. You probably didn’t know this, but people are turned off by poor grammar and spelling. So, shape up.

#8 Know when to end the conversation. You don’t need to text all day and night to show the person you’re interested in them. Know when it’s okay to end the conversation. If you feel it’s dying, then end the conversation early. You can start a new conversation in a couple of hours, that’s fine. But don’t try to keep a conversation alive when it doesn’t have to be. [Read: 15 fun games to connect with your crush over text]

#9 Be mindful of your tone. If you’re someone who has a dry or sarcastic humor, it may not always come across right on text. But that doesn’t mean you can’t show off your personality. Use a couple of emojis here and there to get the point across clearly, and read your message to yourself to make sure what you want to say is actually getting across.

#10 Save the important conversations for in person. You don’t need to have a deep conversation about your childhood over a text message. There are some conversations that are better left for in-person dates.

People have a lot of time to think about what they want to say, and that’s not always a good thing. Sometimes you need to see a person’s facial expressions and their reactions for specific conversations. [Read: The 14 stages of a new relationship to define your budding romance]

#11 Move past the text message. Texting, in the beginning, is fine and dandy, but eventually, you should talk on the phone. I know! Gasp! No one talks on the phone now, but hearing someone’s voice is much different than texting each other. Plus, it shows both of you a level of comfort in the relationship. [Read: Is it time to define your relationship?]

#12 Don’t ever just text ‘hi.’ What are we, ten? Come on! If this is someone you like, you can do a little bit better than ‘hi.’ Seriously. Never send a message with ‘hi.’ Instead, add a question to the end of it. It’s too generic and lazy; it gives off the impression that they’re not good enough for anything more.

Texting in the early stages of dating isn’t easy at all! You’re nervous and want to impress your date. But don’t worry, if you follow these habits, you’ll be on the right path.