Dating is only getting harder with all the apps to choose from. What is the best way to present yourself? This is how to write a dating profile for women.
Online dating is a plethora of confusing stats, lists of hobbies, and perfectly *sometimes not so perfectly* curated selfies. How are you supposed to navigate this space? Learning how to write a dating profile for women will help you through all the inevitable questions.
How are you supposed to share your best assets, your dealbreakers, and who you are in a few sentences? How do you make sure you said the right thing to attract the right person? You don’t want someone to pass you by because they misinterpreted you.
There is a lot that goes into writing a dating profile in general, but specifically for women. [Read: How to write a good dating profiles and stand apart]
Why is it so hard to write a dating profile for women?
In case you weren’t already aware, lots of things are more difficult for women. And not because we are lacking anything, but because society judges us more than men.
We even do it ourselves. We judge other women more than men. Think about it. When you are on a dating app swiping through a bunch of men’s profiles, what do you expect? Maybe a few emojis that show his ethnicity, his love of food, and that he travels? And maybe he will put a little extra effort in by quoting The Office.
At least from my experience, this is the best we can expect from a guy’s profile. But, we are expected to be this perfectly balanced human being that can match up to a guy’s dream girl. We should have it all.
We should be determined and smart but also have a less important job than him. We should be beautiful and flawless but without any filters or too much makeup. Of course, we should have a perfect selection of not forced selfies, full body shots, and something cute or fun that shows our personality but also makes us mysterious.
Did I cover it all? With expectations like this, how are we supposed to writing a dating profile without tearing our hair out? [Read: Should you ditch online dating and go old school?]
How to write a dating profile for women
First things first, do not even entertain these ridiculous cultural standards set out by the patriarchy. You are looking for a life partner, a date, or a hookup buddy, not to be a man’s personal doll.
Remember all that jarring information I just gave you about what men expect on dating apps? Well, forget it. Or don’t forget it. Get mad at all. This may be true, but any man that expects a real woman to fit into those boundaries is kidding himself. And who would want a man that doesn’t live in reality anyway?
This may shrink your pool of potential matches, but that means the guys you do match with will be more legitimate.
Dating profiles are not about coming across as perfect, but as authentic. This is not a job interview or your resume. This is not about hiding your flaws and bragging about your successes. It is about honesty. Without that, there is no point.[Read: How not to online date – What every dater must avoid online]
So, here are some tips and tricks you can use to learn how to write a dating profile for women. Take these and bend them to fit you, not the other way around.
#1 Smile. This something I sort of hate to say, but also needs to be said. When someone tells you to smile more I give you permission to drop kick them *not really, but in your mind*. But, when you are looking to date someone and establish a connection, a smile is the best way to do that.
Your main picture should be a happy one. Add in whatever else, but you should be smiling a real authentic smile in at least one picture. That does not mean it should be your work ID photo, but a photo where you were actually happy.
People are much more likely to swipe on a photo of someone smiling than making any other expressions. [Read: How to smile more often and change your life forever]
#2 Offer something unique about yourself. So many profiles float through this sea of ordinary. No offense to those people, but it does not make you stand out. Sure, someone might swipe right on someone with interests like food, sun, and travel, but that won’t catch their attention.
I know you love food, sun, and travel, you are a human. Instead, share something about yourself that is interesting: a conversation starter. Share that you won a spelling bee in second grade. Share that you hold a world record for hula hooping. This should be an ice breaker of sorts.
#3 Make a joke. A joke can be a risky move when writing a dating profile. You want to keep it clean or at least PG-13. You want it to fit your sense of humor, and yet not too unique or else you could risk alienating people that don’t get it.
Take a joke from your favorite TV show. If they know it, you can talk about that. Make a cheesy dad joke or use puns in your profile. This is something that will catch a potential match’s attention and show off your sense of humor which is a must-have for most people. [Read: The 30 best and worst words to describe yourself online]
#4 Include your dealbreakers. Some people would say not to share your dealbreakers right off the bat, but in my experience, it weeds out people you know you will not get along with upfront. Now, I am not saying you should pinpoint anyone with facial hair, shorter than 5’ 7”, or who wake up early.
This is not the place to complain about your exes or show off your pickiness. Rather share one or two dealbreakers that you know you cannot overlook. For instance, my profile saying smokers and trump supports need not apply. But that can be a number of things for you.
Not only will this narrow your selection to people who have potential, but it is also something about you that a potential match could have in common. [Read: 25 most common deal breakers for women across borders]
#5 Be respectful. This is an important one. We all make jokes and know we don’t like certain topics, but try to be kind. You can say you don’t date anyone who smokes or drinks, but keep it there. This is not the place to rant about politics or religion.
Also, do not call out people. As much as I hate the guys who post photos with their cars and with sunglasses on, I am not going to waste precious space in my profile to complain about that.
This is a place for you to share about you, not complain about others. Do not mock the fact that people do this or that in their profile. Just leave it. This is about a connection between you and someone. It has nothing to do with the people you don’t like.
#6 Try to get out of the box. We all have qualities that make us interesting. But the fact that you went to Coachella, traveled to another country, or were in your brother’s wedding is not going to cut it. This is all great, but it is not out of the box great.
These are experiences you had and they helped form who you are, but they are not what people need to know if you will click. Instead, dig dipper. Share something different. Instead of saying I went to Egypt, share what you got out of that trip. Instead of saying you love your family, share what they mean to you. [Read: 15 text conversation starters for the shy and awkward]
#7 Ask a question. The first message is always the hardest. Some apps only let us message first while others are a free-for-all. So, if you feel like a guy will have trouble coming up with something more than “hey,” give him an opener.
Helping him out and guiding him into the conversation may be the push he needs. And trust me, guys appreciate the help. Ask a question they can answer. Ask their most embarrassing moment or something they hate that everyone else loves.
Be unique with it. Ask something you genuinely want to know, but try not to go too deep. This is an ice breaker, not a marriage proposal. [Read: 21 tinder conversation starters that’ll intrigue anyone instantly]
#8 Make sure your photos are clear. When it comes to knowing how to write a dating profile for women, or anyone for that matter, photos are about 50-70% of a dating profile. I know looks shouldn’t matter, but they do. And it is not always beauty, but attraction. That is different. Do you ever swipe left to a guy who is attractive but you just don’t find him attractive? A photo is a way to make a connection.
You should have more than one photo of yourself where your face *eyes* are visible. If you have an awesome shot in front of the Eiffel Tower in sunglasses, cool, post it, just be sure you have more that show you, not your vacations.
This is not about being perfect or modeling or getting the right light. It is about being genuine. You are showing yourself, how you actually look. If you are hoping to meet someone, they should be able to recognize you. [Read: How to take a good selfie and look cute with every snap]
#9 Relax. This dating profile is not set in stone. It is not engraved in granite and will not exist forever. You can go back and change it at any time. If you took a new photo, you can swap out an old one. If you thought of a better question or joke, you can add it. [Read: The annoyingly common misconceptions about online dating]
Try not to get too hung up on the right emoji or word choice. Your profile should not read like the next great American novel. It should sound like it came from you.
It should be authentic. It should not take you ages to write. Imagine if your best friend asked you to describe yourself, write what you would say to them. Even ask your BFF to look it over, they can tell you if it feels like you.
Ask them to describe you and what you’re looking for and use that. Try not to overthink things. Just be honest, and that is your best chance at a decent match.
Hopefully, you now know how to write a dating profile for women and your next first date should be on the horizon. Just give these suggestions a shot, and you’ll be well on your way to making a great impression!