The dating game is a confusing one, but if you’re finding yourself regularly ghosted, it’s…
We all worry that we are bothering people when we reach out, but you can learn how to text your crush without being annoying.
When I was younger, my biggest fear was that I was annoying. I feared that they didn’t want me around. So, when it came to talking to a crush, that was amplified by a billion. But all said and done, learning how to text your crush without being annoying is an important dating skill.
Dating a crush made me so nervous that I would screw things up and embarrass myself. My crush didn’t just not like me back, but he found me annoying.
Since then I not only gained confidence in myself but realized I am worthy of others’ attention. I no longer believe that I am a bother or pestering someone just by texting them.
But, how do you get there? Well, I can help you learn how to text your crush without being annoying.[Read: How to build your self-confidence and realize you are worth it]
Why do you think you’re being annoying?
Before we get into ways for how to text your crush without being annoying, let’s figure out why this is even a worry you have. Why do you think you’re being annoying when you text your crush?
Does it have to do with your own insecurities? Are you struggling with self-esteem issues? Are you just nervous that your crush won’t like you back? Working on your confidence is not something that gets done overnight. But you can remind yourself that appearing confident and believing you are worthy of someone’s attention will help get you there.
When you exude confidence through your words and actions, others perceive you as such. You then actually gain true confidence. Do you worry a lot about what other people think of you? Have you been told you’re annoying by those you are close to or even by your crush? [Read: 16 steps to build your self-confidence and realize you’re worth it]
If you find that you are often weighed down by how others view you, let go of that. What you think of yourself is the most important. If you have faith in yourself and love yourself, that attitude will ignite others to feel the same.
People feed off of our energies, and if you come across as anxious and uncomfortable, others will feel that, even through texts. But, if you let go of those fears of being annoying you can text your crush with a sense of confidence that will make them see you in a bright light.
If you dull yourself due to fears of inadequacy or being annoying, you will only live up to that self-proclaimed prophecy. If you text your crush with confidence and encouragement, you will live up to that find joy in being yourself.[Read: 10 signs of low self-esteem and 5 ways to increase it]
How to text your crush without being annoying
Learning how to text your crush without being annoying is easier than you might think. Yes, it will take some practice, some guts, and a whole lot of self-discovery, but you can do it.
And by the time you learn how to text your crush without being annoying, you will lose all worries of being annoying. You will have courage and self-love that will ensure you are only crushing on someone that sees your worth.
#1 Never apologize for talking. Go in with confidence right from the first text. Never say you’re sorry for reaching out. Never apologize just for sharing your opinion or seeing if they want to hang out.
By doing that you only further induce the idea that you’re annoying them. Own your words and have faith in yourself. [Read: How to text your crush, play it cool and win them over]
#2 Don’t ask if you’re being annoying. Just by putting that idea into their head, they will start to believe it. I talked to a guy who I wasn’t annoyed by until I couldn’t text back right away. He would constantly ask me if he was bothering me. He never was until he asked that.
That is not an attractive quality. If someone isn’t texting back right away, they are probably busy. Even if they say that they are busy, do not say sorry for texting them or feel bad. [Read: How to master positive self-talk and banish negativity]
#3 Do not second guess yourself. Once you send a text to your crush, do not second guess it. Do not reread it until it sounds crazy. There is no need to overanalyze every text to your crush. If you hope to hang out with them you won’t have the time to overanalyze and second guess yourself in person, so just go with it.
#4 Don’t overdo it. Play it cool. You can have an exciting conversation but try not to be too intense. If you are eating, you don’t need to write a novel with the details to your crush. Keep it simple.
Let them know you are interested in hanging out and offer an idea like the new mini-golf course. When you have confidence in yourself you don’t have to add bells and whistles to everything you say. [Read: How to fix your jitters and ask your crush out]
#5 Keep yourself busy. You may feel like you’re being annoying when texting your crush because they haven’t answered back automatically. But, even with the addiction to technology we all have times when we are away from our phones.
Instead of staring at your phone and waiting for a response, wondering what they could be doing or if they read your message, do something. Read a book, do a DIY project, or go for a walk with your phone on silent. Don’t let texting your crush take over your day.
#6 Talk to a trusted friend. Sometimes all you need to make sure you feel good about texting your crush is encouragement from a trusted friend that lifts you up. You want a friend that will remind you how amazing you are.
You want a friend who won’t just make you feel hopeful but also be there for you if it doesn’t go well because there is no such thing as a sure thing. If you are nervous about texting your crush, do it in the company of this friend. Then you have someone who will amp you up and boost your ego. [Read: The 15 qualities that set apart a good friend]
#7 Don’t be too eager. We all want someone who is interested in us, your crush included, but being too eager and available is just too much sometimes. Your crush may not even know you like them. Jumping the gun can come off as desperate or needy.
When they text back, you can do a silent celebratory dance to yourself, but try to wait a few minutes to respond. Just let the conversation flow and don’t jump into it headfirst.
#8 Talk about mutual connections. If you reach out to your crush saying, “hey, what’s up?” they may not be annoyed, but they also won’t be interested or intrigued. Instead of generic topics, bring up an interest you share from the start.
Ask them about the assignment you have due tomorrow. Ask if they’ve watched the latest season of Stranger Things or if they’ve seen the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie. Starting the conversation with a topic and not just “how are you” or “what’s up” stops the empty talk and boring conversation. [Read: 20 flirty tips to text your crush and get them interested in you]
#9 Never double text. I know you want to hear from them but NEVER double text. Sure you can fix a spelling error or say “did you this new movie?” then send a text saying, “It was awesome!,” but only immediately as if it is the same message.
Don’t text and then say, “hey did you get my last text?” or send the same message twice. If they don’t answer then they don’t. It isn’t the end of the world. But double texting is annoying even coming from someone you like. Hit send and put your phone down.
#10 Take no or nothing as your answer. If they aren’t texting you back, don’t assume they find you annoying. Some people just can’t text back and say they are taken, they aren’t interested, or just don’t want to talk.
If they are ghosting you, just accept it. It sucks and I know that, but it will be better to just accept that you aren’t a match and move on. It is better you know now. [Read: Why ghosting hurts so much and what you can do about it]
#11 Remember that you deserve someone who is excited to hear from you. Try not to let this get to you. It can be a roller coaster of emotions to text your crush.
You build up the courage to send the text and worry that they won’t answer. You then get excited and feel good if they do, but feel down if it doesn’t work out how you planned.
I know it sucks to not have the reaction or response you hoped for. Remember, you deserve someone that is excited to get a text from you, not someone who is just being polite or doesn’t bother answering.[Read: How to not be a boring texter and keep your crush really interested]
Trust me, learning how to text your crush without being annoying is not about who you are. It is about believing in yourself and knowing what you deserve.