How to Tell When a FWB Is Catching Feelings: 15 Definitive Signs

Your friends with benefits may be running smoothly, but all good things come to an end. It’s time you learned how to tell when a fwb is catching feelings.

We all go into friends with benefits *fwb* thinking it’ll be a casual relationship that will last as long as we want it to. Why would you stop a good thing, right? You’re enjoying not having to commit to someone, and you get sex. It sounds like the perfect dream. Do you even need to know how to tell when a fwb is catching feelings?

How to tell when a fwb is catching feelings

But that’s the thing. It’s too good to be true. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t have a fwb. But you must understand and accept that eventually, it will end. Hopefully, it ends before one of you starts to develop feelings for each other.

I know what you’re going to say, I don’t have feelings for my fwb. Maybe you don’t. But you don’t know how they’re feeling. It’s impossible to be intimate with someone without developing feelings for them over time. We’re human. If you never develop feelings for your fwb relationships, maybe you should check if you’re a robot or psychopath.

[Read: How to have a casual relationship without getting hurt]

But that’s not the reason why I’m writing this. If you feel something has changed, talk about it with them. If they like you and you’re not interested in anything more, it will cause hurt feelings and drama. So, it’s best to cut things before they get messy. The only way to know if they will get messy is if you figure out whether your fwb is developing feelings for you or not.

At some point, it’s going to happen.

#1 Something has changed. You don’t know exactly what’s changed, but you know something is going on. Unless your fwb has completely stopped talking to you, then they’re probably falling for you. And it makes sense. You are sleeping together, having a good time. Feelings happen. If you feel the energy has shifted, it’s a sign. [Read: How to know if you can handle casual dating]

#2 They text you without reason. Usually, fwb keep texting to a minimum. You should really only be texting to arrange a hangout. But, if they’re texting you to talk about your day or mundane, silly things, it’s a sign they’re into you. They want to develop a bond and connect with you on an emotional level.

 #3 They hold eye contact. You have sexual chemistry, so when it gets down to having sex, there’s going to be eye contact. But outside of the bedroom, your partner isn’t going to be gazing at you. Unless… they’re interested in you. Body language is extremely important when understanding other people, and eye contact says, “I want you.” [Read: How to read the signs your casual relationship is getting serious]

#4 They try to see you more often. Unless they’re addicted to the sex, they won’t try to make time to see you more often. And if you hang out more and don’t have sex each time, well, then they like you. It’s as simple as that. No one invests their time with someone they don’t like.

#5 You don’t always have sex. Listen, when it comes to hanging out, you don’t always have sex. Sometimes you’ll grab a coffee or a bite to eat. Other times you’ll watch a movie at your place and nothing sexual will happen. This sounds like a relationship rather than a fwb. Maybe you need to check your feelings.

#6 They get jealous when you mention other people. If they weren’t into you, they wouldn’t get jealous when you mention other people. You two are fwb, nothing more. So what’s the problem? But see, that’s the thing. They don’t want you to see other people. They want you to be interested in them.

#7 Their friends know you. When it’s a fwb, you don’t really spend a lot of time talking about this person to your friends. This is just someone you have casual sex with. Your friends may know about this person, but they’re not what fills up your gossip hour. However, their friends seem to know a lot about you.

#8 The hangouts are becoming more date-like. Before you would go to each other’s places, watch some Netflix and call it a day. But now, your hangouts are more date-like. You’ll go out for dinner together, walk around the city, hang out with each other’s friends. This isn’t sounding like a fwb.

#9 They cancel plans for you. Hello! If someone is canceling their plans to see you, that’s a huge sign they’re interested in you. Unless you blow their mind in bed *which I’m sure you do*, no one is going to cancel their plans to hang out with the fwb, literally, no one. [Read: 15 signs your casual partner is just leading you on and taking you nowhere!]

#10 They spend their free time with you. Of course, they see you when they want to have sex, but if they weren’t into you, they wouldn’t waste any more of their time. But, when they have free time, they make sure to spend time with you. Whether it’s going to see a movie, grabbing a coffee, they don’t mind.

#11 They tell you they miss you. It’s one thing when they talk about a specific sexual act they miss. But if they’re telling you they miss you, well, that’s much different. They’re not saying they miss the sex but miss being around you.

#12 The kisses are different. When you used to kiss, it was more of a warm-up. But now, kisses have changed. They’re passionate, intimate, and emotional. When they kiss you, they’re running their hands through your hair; kissing your neck and cheeks, well, that’s not what a fwb would do.

#13 They hint they’d be into a relationship. Now, they may not have told you so boldly, but they’re dropping hints every now and then. Maybe they’ve told you they’re not opposed to being in a relationship or wouldn’t mind dating. Those are all little hints to let you know what they want.

#14 Your conversations are deeper. When you talk, the conversations are deeper than before. They ask personal questions and talk about feelings. They’re doing this because they want to create an emotional connection with you, because they like you. [Read: Rules to follow to keep a casual relationship casual]

#15 Try to hold your hands in public. When you are walking around the city, they’re working in some PDA. Now, we all know this is a big no-no when it comes to fwb relationships. But if they like you, they want other people to see you are together.

[Read: The signs of attachment in a friends with benefits situation]

Is your fwb catching feelings for you? Now you know how to tell when a fwb is catching feelings, what do you think? It’s time you confronted them.