How to Start a Conversation with a Girl You Like, Like a Gentleman

If you’re not sure how to start a conversation with a girl you like, you’re probably stalling. Time is precious! Be real, be you, just go for it. 

It’s impossible to start a crush, fling, or relationship without actually having a conversation! The problem is, someone has to start that conversation, which can be challenging. Even the most confident of people can turn into a puddle of goo when it comes to starting a conversation with someone they like. If you’re not sure how to start a conversation with a girl you like, it’s likely become a huge mental wall to overcome.

Now, I am a girl, so I’m going to share my pearls of wisdom with you. This is advice you can trust, because although every girl is different, there are certain things which are extremely annoying and cringe-worthy when someone tries to start a conversation with you.

Avoid those things and there’s no reason why you can’t strike up a beautiful friendship, which may become more!

There are two situations we need to cover here. Starting up a chat with a girl you have your eye on in person, and doing the same via social media. Without a doubt, the virtual option is much easier, because you can hide behind your phone/tablet/laptop and disappear if it doesn’t go well!

Despite that, there are still just as many pitfalls, and the false sense of confidence that a keyboard can give you might just be your undoing! Let’s cover both, with the dos and don’ts to bear in mind. [Read: What to talk about with the girl you like]

How to approach a girl you like

Some of us still prefer the old school route, but having someone approach you and start talking to you can be just as nerve-racking. What are you supposed to say back? There’s no time to prepare!

The bottom line is that if you’re going to start a conversation with a girl you like in person, watch your body language and fake the confidence that you don’t feel. [Read: How to approach a girl you don’t know and impress her]

Things to remember:

– Make eye contact first and add a smile

– Read their body language and decide whether you should approach them or not

– Watch your body language and make sure it doesn’t become defensive, e.g. arms crossed over the body, avoiding eye contact because you’re nervous

– Do not approach her while she is with her friends, unless you want an extremely uncomfortable experience!

– Remember to keep smiling, but not to the point where it looks like someone superglued a smile on your face

Now you know how to approach the girl, let’s cover how to start a conversation with a girl you like. [Read: 16 tricks that will make you instantly likable with girls]

How to start a conversation with a girl you like in person

There is one thing you need to remember: be real. Just be yourself, seriously. There is nothing more annoying than a person coming over to you and trying to be something they’re not. Of course she doesn’t know you yet, but she’s not stupid, and she can tell if you’re being fake. Women have a great intuition, remember!

For me, someone trying to start a conversation with me by looking smug and overconfident is a huge attention killer. I simply want to get away from them–fast! So, just be normal. Smile, and say something akin to small talk, such as ‘this queue is taking forever’ with a smile, or ‘this weather is really something, isn’t it?’

It depends how forward you want to be. The small talk option is going to take you longer to get to the point where you can express your interest. If you’re fine with that, and many girls will be happy with that too, then small talk is your way forward. [Read: 15 things you absolutely must know when you approach women]

Throw in some compliments. We love compliments, but make sure they’re not fake. Don’t go telling her that her eyes are like the stars or any of those annoying chat up lines, just keep it real. Something like ‘I love that color on your dress’, or ‘those shoes are great.’ Normal things!

Also, remember to keep your questions open ended, e.g. avoid anything which only needs a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ in response. By asking questions which need a little more explanation, you’re opening up a conversation, and you can read from there whether she wants to talk to you or not. [Read: How to hit on girls – 15 things most men don’t know]

So, remember these main points:

– Avoid cheesy chat up lines – we do not want to know that we look like an angel fallen from heaven

– Use small talk and make sure questions are open ended

– Make eye contact and smile

– Compliment her, but don’t go over the top!

How to start a conversation with a girl you like over social media  

From our first section, understanding how to start a conversation with a girl you like isn’t actually the rocket science subject you might have thought it was. But, it does require confidence. You can fake that confidence and hope it manifests, or you can simply go for it and keep trying. Either way, you’ll find out whether she wants to talk to you or not!

Now, the danger is trying to start a conversation over social media. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had conversations started via Instagram and Facebook and enjoyed every second of them. Many also ended in coffees or drinks at some point.

The problem is, sliding into a girl’s DMs has a negative stigma attached to it. What are you really after? That is what she will be thinking. So, make sure you approach this with caution and do it the right way. Handily, you have the time to prepare, such is the wonder of modern technology! [Read: How to slide into a girl’s DMs and get a reply]

The best tips to stand out from the others

The key points to bear in mind when starting a social media chat with a girl you have your eyes on is that being sleazy is not going to work. Many a suitor will have tried and failed with this approach. Don’t be another one! Word your message carefully and check for undertones of potential sleaze.

Avoid cheesy pick up lines, don’t mention that she looks good in her profile picture, and as for pictures of your own – no, no, no! Believe me, sending an intimate picture of any part of your body is not the way to start a conversation that you want to continue! [Read: The no-fail guide to get a girl’s number every single time]

Let’s sum up the main points:

– No pictures

– Don’t mention her pictures either

– Avoid just ‘hey’ – it’s not interesting and shows no imagination

– Keep it real, be yourself *we can spot fake a mile away*

– Honesty goes a long way

– Don’t send another message if she sees it and doesn’t reply – take the hint

– Avoid closed questions

The danger of conversations started over social media is the stigma attached to it. Many people use it for hook ups, so make sure the tone of your message is less booty call and more genuine conversation! You can do that simply by being real.

[Read: Learning to talk to a girl without being awkward]

The art of learning how to start a conversation with a girl you like is more about actually being a real person speaking to another real person. Remember, they’re human too, just like you!