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Seduction is a game of smoke and mirrors. It is important how to know if you’re being seduced to foil any attempts in the future.
Seduction employs discreet and unassuming tricks which is why some people manage to fall into that trap in the first place. But despite this, seduction still needs to follow a specific formula for it to work effectively. Once you understand how to know if you’re being seduced, you’ll become immune to their charms and easily see through their motives.
How to know if you’re being seduced
To detect an attempt at seduction, understand how it works along including the typical strategies seducers employ. [Read: Understanding the signs of sexual attraction]
#1 The friendly stage. The “friendly” stage is a prerequisite to seducing someone. Of course, seducers won’t initially come on strong. That has a great risk of failure. To increase their success, they will establish a friendly relationship with their target first. Then, whittle them down into submission.
Consequently, it is impossible to detect seduction in this phase because the interaction involved is casual and friendly.
This stage is also important in seduction as the seducer will use this phase to gather information about their target and formulate their seduction strategy. Once they have gathered enough information, they will proceed to the disarming stage. [Read: The subtle hints to help you know if it’s friendly or flirty]
#2 The disarming stage. The “disarming” stage is the longest and most important phase of seduction. Here, the seducer never hints that they are trying to sleep with you. Instead, they appeal to your emotion, interests, and passions. They manipulate you into thinking that they want and enjoy spending time with you.
A patient seducer will take their time until such a point that their target believes that they’re the one who has started to like their seducer. Once that happens, the victim can easily agree to a sexual encounter even without the seducer initiating. [Read: 10 clearly noticeable signs of body language attraction]
#3 The attack. If the disarming stage is done perfectly, a seducer may not even have to be aggressive in initiating sex. Sometimes, seducers test their luck and lay down the perfect scenario in making their attack. In this stage, they will make the first obvious move that will undoubtedly lead to sex.
Tell-tale signs you’re being seduced
If you’ve ever wondered if you’re being seduced by someone, keep an eye on these signs. Sometimes, your instincts may tell you you’re being seduced subtly even if the person isn’t being overly obvious about it.
#1 You receive a lot of attention from them. The first obvious sign of seduction is getting an unusually high volume of attention from a specific person. Further confirmed if they give you more attention than other people around them. Such attention can take many forms, but the first thing to keep in mind is that the attention the seducer will give you will be something very appealing to you. Remember, attention can be quite addictive, and seducers know that. [Read: 16 hush-hush signs your friend wants to sleep with you]
**They will communicate frequently. If you exchange a lot of texts, calls, instant messages, and social media interactions from the time you exchanged contact information, be wary. You might be in the crosshairs of a seducer.
**They place themselves in close proximity. If you notice that the suspected seducer starts to frequent your usual hang out spots, hanging out with your friends and the people you know, or maybe doing the same activities as you, they want you.
**They notice every change in your person and compliment you often. Be it in person or social media, they will be the first to comment if you’re losing weight, wearing a new perfume, a new suit or dress, or a new haircut. It’s as if you suddenly have your dedicated number one fan.
#2 They present themselves differently in your presence. In their quest to lead you to bed, they will do every step to make themselves appear desirable in your eyes. Great effort will be taken to impress you and sweep you off your feet in both appearance and endearing gestures.
**The seducer will dress up and take effort to improve their appearance. You’ll notice that your seducer will bring out the good stuff: fancy suits, nice haircuts, perfumes, and accessories. Female seducers in particular will wear sexy and revealing outfits to flaunt their assets. [Read: 16 signs a woman is attracted to you and wants you to make a move]
**Obvious special treatment and favors from them. Seducers will make good use of special favors to endear themselves to you. They will offer to help you in your errands, buy you stuff, babysit pets, and offer you rides to different places. It is easy to fall into this trap, but remember that the seducer is “playing nice” because of an ulterior motive.
#3 They play a game of catch and release. Catch and release is a form of manipulation where they will give you all the attention and sweetness that you crave when suddenly they put it to a stop until you go through the withdrawal symptoms.
Once you’ve felt that you’re missing all the attention, you’ll be tricked into seeking it later on. And without knowing, you’ve fallen into their trap. [Read: Knowing these signs can keep you from being played]
#4 The seducer puts you in a state of suspense. Just like the catch and release ploy, your time with the seducer is far from uneventful. You’ll experience periodic bursts of drama, emotion, and a little bit of romanticism, making it seem that your seducer is never boring. You’ll always be in a situation where you’re second guessing due to these little surprises. A form of manipulation to keep you hooked on them.
#5 For women: They show a lot of skin. Women have a natural edge in seduction. Men are easily swayed by a little flash of the flesh. Obviously, a seductress will use this to her advantage through sexy and revealing dresses. The honey-pot technique is as old as time. There’s a reason why it never gets old.
#6 Frequent physical contact. This will usually start with friendly touches such as high fives, hugs, and guiding touches on the shoulder or arm. This acclimatizes you for bolder and intimate forms of touching.
People enjoy being touched by the ones they are friendly or familiar with. A seducer knows this fact. Once their target is used to friendly touches, they will increase the frequency of touching and dare for sensual and intimate touches. [Read: What different types of physical touches mean]
#7 They always bring up sexual topics. In a normal conversation, it may be uncomfortable to bring up sexually-related topics at the get go. However, seducers casually insert sexually-charged topics in normal conversations. After all, that is their ultimate goal. Inserting sex topics is a way for them to implant a subliminal message of intent into their target’s mind.
**They share a lot about their sexual encounters. A careful seducer will not ask you about your sex life. Instead, they share unsolicited sexual information about themselves to decrease suspicion about their motives. It’s like saying that “I’m an open book when it comes to sex.” Next thing you know, you’ll be encouraged to share yours as well.
**They ask a lot of sex questions. Once they see that their target is comfortable with discussing sex, their information-fishing will now begin. Seducers craftily ask questions by making it sound innocent with careful wording. But don’t get fooled. It is an obvious way of getting you in the mood for sex later on.
#8 They isolate you. If you meet the seducer in a bar or at a party, they will always try to take you away from your friends. If you’re on friendly terms with your seducer, they come up with activities that end up as a “date.” Isolation is an important aspect of seduction keeping your attention on them alone.
#9 They respond unfavorably to rejection. One way to differentiate a sincere romantic advance from an attempt at seduction is how the person responds to rejection.
By nature, seducers respond more negatively to rejection and often employ retaliatory measures if you foiled their efforts. On the other hand, sincere romantic advances are more understanding. They view the moment as the reward itself. [Read: How to keep the platonic friendship rules and keep it platonic]
#10 Repeated sexual advances. While in their “attack” phase, seducers can be relentless in their sexual advances. These may come in the form of sexually aggressive touching, frequent invitations to spend the night, and a sudden switch to sexual topics even if you’re in the middle of a neutral conversation.[Read: How to deal with an overly flirtatious coworker]
Seduction may be a game of subtlety. If you learn how to know if you’re being seduced by keeping an eye on these signs, you can readily identify a person with ulterior motives in no time.