How Do People Become Self Centered and Stop Caring About Others?

Self centered people are no fun to be around, but how do people become self centered in the first place? Can self centeredness be avoided?

When someone thinks about nobody but themselves, they’re not exactly a picture of fun to be around. They can be bullying or defensive too, and leaves you wondering, how do people become self centered in the first place?

A self centered person doesn’t care about your feelings, won’t be bothered about your day, and will turn everything around to themselves. Of course, this sounds very much like a narcissism picture. A self centered person certainly shares many traits with NPD sufferers. Just because someone is self centered doesn’t necessarily mean they are narcissistic. It’s a trait, a behavior which causes them to focus on themselves and push everyone else out of the picture. [Read: How to recognize selfish people instantly and stop them from hurting you]

Self centered people aren’t necessarily constantly this way. It might be that they act self centered much of the time, but then they have moments when they’re actually half decent. This is what confuses those around them. You’re never sure if they’re actually a bad person at heart, or if there’s something else lurking beneath the surface.

[Read: Do you love talking and hate listening?]

What are the causes of self centeredness?

Of course, you might wonder how do people become self centered in the first place? Are they born that way? Does something happen which causes a switch to be flicked on?

It can be many different reasons. For instance, a narcissist is a total picture of self centeredness. But is a narcissist developed or born? There is a lot of evidence to suggest that they’re developed over time possibly from the way they were brought up, but they can also be born that way too, simply as a personality trait they possess.

However, this isn’t the only answer to how do people become self centered. If a person goes through a difficult time, perhaps a traumatic relationship or a period of time when they have been forced to be alone or become generally lonely, self centeredness may come into the equation to protect them from their feelings. [Read: What really causes narcissism? The facts and theories to understand a narcissist’s mind]

How do people become self centered from loneliness

You might wonder how this can happen. If someone has spent a certain amount of time alone, they’re going to become self dependent, but why would they become self centered as a result?

This won’t be the case for every single person who has been through a lonely time in their lives, but it can turn a switch which causes them to focus entirely on themselves out of survival. It’s a protection technique, a way of keeping them out of harm’s way, almost like a wall they build around themselves.

[Read: Simple ways to calmly deal with difficult people]

The same can be said for someone who has been through a traumatic time in their lives, perhaps they have just come out of an abusive relationship. Depending upon the degree of trauma, they may end up turning inward, therefore focusing on themselves and not daring to open up to others.

Self centeredness is also a trait of those who may be suffering from psychiatric illness, such as addiction, depression and anxiety, or personality disorders.

However, just because someone is suffering through a difficult mental health period in their lives, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to become self centered. Exercise a certain amount of caution when wondering how do people become self centered… there is no single right or wrong answer to it.

We’re all unique, every single one of us. What makes one person angry would make another person barely flinch, what makes one person very happy would have no effect on another person. This is what makes us special.

Specific circumstances in someone’s life can have different effects; a trauma may easily make one person quite self centered as a defense mechanism, but have zero effect on someone else. With that in mind, we can only speculate on how do people become self centered in reality. [Read: The power of your words can make or break your relationship with people]

What behavior types does a self centered person display?

Self centeredness puts you before everyone else. It assumes that you’re more important, but it does go a little deeper than that too.

A self centered person:

– Is always defensive. They see the world purely through their own eyes. As a result, they won’t stand for anyone who doesn’t agree or sees it differently.

– Thinks the entire world revolves around them. If something happens to someone or something happens in general, they will only want to focus on how it affects them.

– Can be quite bullying to others. They will dominate the entire scene and relationship/friendship.

– Always thinks they’re better than everyone else. If someone has something which they perceive to be better or high quality, they must have it for themselves.

– Uses others to get what they want. [Read: 16 signs a user can’t hide when they’re using you]

– Is extremely opinionated and believes that their opinion is the right one.

– Doesn’t have much empathy… or any at all.

– Will very happily tear another person down to build themselves up.

– Can be arrogant and overconfident.

– Is selfish and will do whatever they want, regardless of how it upsets or affects those around them. [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism people overlook until it’s too late]

As you can see, self centeredness has many of the same traits as narcissism. DON’T totally confuse the two. Take a look at yourself occasionally. Check that you’re not showing any behaviors that reflect self centeredness.

For instance, maybe you’re going through a difficult period in your life. You show signs of this type of behavior to help you cope. A person who displays self centered behavior isn’t always a self centered person per se, it can simply be a period of time they’re going through, a defense mechanism they’ve put up.

Complete a regular check in with yourself and evaluate how you’re feeling and how you’re treating those around you. It can help you to identify whether or not you should change the way you interact with those in your circle. [Read: How to be a better person and grow into a kind human]

How to not fall into the trap

The fact is, people are complex. You might not have the first clue that you show signs of this type of behavior. For someone with a narcissistic approach to life, they’re definitely unaware of it.

When you experience a traumatic event in life, it is important to not turn off your empathy. We all go through difficult times and deal with problems. Embracing those around us and being open-hearted and kind is the best way through it. By allowing yourself to become self centered and pulling back from people, you create a pattern of behavior that will spiral over time. [Read: Selfless vs selfish love: Understanding the traits that set them apart]

Before you know it, you’ll be hemorrhaging friends. Nobody wants to or should put up with someone who is self centered all the time.

[Read: Am I a self centered narcissist? 10 simple questions to reveal the answer]

How do people become self centered? There are a myriad of reasons. Sometimes there’s no pinpoint answer to the question. But you can fix it, with the right amount of self reflection and effort.