The dating game is a confusing one, but if you’re finding yourself regularly ghosted, it’s…
Fellas, if you think dating a girl is taking her for coffee and trying to get into her pants, think again. These dating rules for men are necessary.
I know you probably thought dating was a lot simpler. You ask a woman out, she gives you her number, you take her to a movie, buy her popcorn, and try to make out with her. Then you change your status on Facebook to “in a relationship” and you’re good to go. Well, it’s not that easy, especially nowadays, there are dating rules for men to follow.
Back in the day, there was a certain procedure you did when you wanted to date a girl and the stakes were much higher. Now, you can go on multiple dates, have friends with benefits, all these different types of things.
The 15 dating rules for men you must follow
So, understandably, the rules for dating have become a tad blurry. I mean, for example, I have friends that use Tinder to date while others just use it for sex. So, you see how blurry the dating world can be.
Nonetheless, these dating rules quietly float under the surface, rules which all women look at when they’re on a date. Not sure what they are? Don’t worry, I’ll let you in on what’s going on.
#1 Have a plan. This is the first of the dating rules for men you need to remember. You may hear some women say that they don’t need the guy to have their date planned out. Now, that’s all fine and dandy. When you pick her up and ask her what she wants to do, you’ll see her eyes glaze over with slight disappointment.
You don’t need to have every minute planned, but do have at least one or two options for the date. That way, you propose both ideas and see if she’s interested in either one. [Read: 12 creative date ideas to have fun on a budget]
#2 Put the phone away. We notice, trust me. If you constantly check your phone or text people, it’s not a good look. Even playing with your phone in your hand is a bad idea. Just put your phone away. If you can’t leave your phone for an hour, either the date isn’t going that well or you have an addiction. [Read: The 10 biggest dating turn offs for women]
#3 Don’t ask the question. We, women, know what this question is but men seem to constantly ask this question without seeing how bad of a move it is. Do not ask her, “How is someone like you single?” It shows your level of insecurity. Plus, it also suggests that there’s something wrong with her. Avoid this question because it does more damage than good.
#4 If you ask, listen. Some men seem to ask questions on dates, which is great, but then when it comes to listening to the answer, they ignore it. They reply with “yeah” or “cool.” Shockingly, women have brains, so you can only imagine how stimulating this must be for us.
This is one of those dating rules for men that most guys just don’t remember. If you ask a question, listen to the answer. If you don’t want to hear the answer, then perhaps you need to go on a date with your hand instead. [Read: The truth behind what women look for in a man]
#5 Leave your ex out of the date. This is one of those basic dating rules for men you can never, ever ignore. No one wants to hear about your ex, especially on a first date. Yes, you can talk about your past relationships, that fine, but wait until a couple dates down the road before you unload your baggage on them. Let’s just get through the first date.
#6 Don’t ask her how the date is going. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is a complete buzz kill. Listen, I get that you may want your ego stroked, but don’t ask her how the date is going at any point. I have nothing to compare it to, but, this happened to me and I was automatically turned off. It’s almost like you ask that question just to see if there’s a possibility of sex at the end of it.
#7 To pay or not to pay. This is a tricky one. In my personal opinion, if you ask her out on a date, then you should pay—at least the first one. This is also a good test to see if she even offers to pay. Whether she’s expecting you to pay or not, it’s always nice to offer. Maybe I’m just old school, but I think if you ask for someone’s time, you pay. [Read: 10 unfair but very relevant dating rules we all have to live by]
#8 Keep the date interesting, yet simple. You don’t need to pick her up in a helicopter with a dozen roses. I mean, that would be kinda cool, but there’s nothing wrong with dinner. One guy I dated took me to a burlesque show. That was probably one of the best dates I’ve ever been on. It was simple, but the show was amazing. After we went for a beer. See? Nothing really extravagant, but memorable.
#9 Don’t assume you two are together. If this is your second or third date, this still doesn’t mean that you two are an item. So, if you see her texting some other guy or telling you that she’s also seeing someone else, you can’t be offended.
You two should communicate what you want from this relationship and where you stand. If you want to be exclusive with her or simply casual, you need to make it clear.
#10 Don’t make her tell you something “interesting about herself.” If this is how you get the conversation going on your dates, no wonder you have a hard time dating.
First of all, way to put her on the spot. Second of all, what is she really going to say? This isn’t an organic way to start that conversation topic. If you want to find something out, start sharing a story about yourself and wait for her to share a story. [Read: How to create sparks when starting a conversation with a girl]
#11 Be confident. This one is huge. Women like men who walk into a room with confidence and the same goes for you guys. You want a woman who basically sweats confidence wherever she goes. Compliment her, but don’t try to shower her with too many. This makes you look desperate. Don’t admit you’re nervous, though it can be sweet, it’s not a huge turn on.
#12 Do not bad mouth your exes. If you’ve had some horror dates, you can share the story, it’s fine. But, don’t bad mouth them. In addition, I would keep those stories to a minimum. If you’ve had a string of bad dates, we start to see that as a red flag if anything.
#13 Online dating is the new thing. If you’ve been out of the dating pool, well, welcome back. Online dating is now the new thing. There are endless dating sites such as Tinder, PlentyofFish, Bumble. You can literally find anyone online now. So, if you’re used to meeting women at bars, that’s still a thing, but you can also expand your horizons by going online.
#14 Easy on the gifts. I went on one date where the guy bought me a stuffed animal, chocolates, and flowers. Thought, the act was very kind, it came off way too strong. Don’t throw gifts at her. If you want to buy something for her, that’s fine, but don’t do it for every date and keep it simple and genuine. This guy gave the “I really want you to sleep with me” impression, which wasn’t attractive. [Read: 13 exciting ways to keep a girl happy and interested in you]
#15 Don’t assume she doesn’t know who you are. We live in the age of technology. If you think you play the mysterious card really well, understand that there’s a high chance she already has background information on you. If you have Facebook, Instagram, Twitter—she can easily find out who you are. So, there’s no point bullshitting, she already knows.[Read: The texting and follow-up guide after a great first date]
Now that you know the dating rules for men, there’s no excuse for your behavior. I know when you ask a woman out, you’re sexually attracted to her, but, you don’t need to jump on her. Take it easy there.