You finally found someone you can see a future with but are now struggling…
Yes, there is such thing as a love addiction and if you tend to fall super easily, you might have it. Here’s how to know if your love isn’t real.
It might be a strange thing to think about, but there are people out there who are actually addicted to love. They’re obsessed with all things love and being in love so much so that they’re not actually in love. It’s a love addiction that tricks them into thinking they’ve truly found love.
If you’re not sure if this is you, it’s not too difficult to figure out. You’ll just first have to get past the denial that you have a love addiction, and it’s not true love. Fortunately, that’s made a bit easier by knowing you can actually find real love once you get over your addiction to love.
People with addictions often don’t want to admit they have them
That much you probably already know. An addiction to love is literally no different. However, it’s also a lot harder for the person to tell they’re actually addicted. They just think that’s how love is and how it should be.
Therefore, finding out they have an actual addiction can be a lot harder for them to deal with. They have to change their understanding of such a powerful and complex emotion. And some may even end up in denial and continue living their life with a love addiction and remain in relationships that aren’t good for them just because they’re blinded by love. [Read: 8 steps to handle an addiction to sex]
How to tell if you have a love addiction so you can fix it and start finding true love
Love addictions are real and they can stop you from finding true love. Here’s how to know if you’re definitely addicted to love – and not in a good way.
#1 You’re obsessed with romantic comedies. This is a really big sign and it goes back a long, long time. You probably saw a really great romantic comedy when you were younger and got hooked right away. You then followed that up with basically every rom-com you could get your hands on.
This led to your belief that the love in those movies is what it’s like in real life. And you try to emulate that. If you’re a big fan of romantic movies to the point that you watch them over and over again, it’s possible you have a love addiction. [Read: 10 steamy romance movies you have to see]
#2 You fall in love right away. And I mean you’re on your second date and you tell the person you’re in love with them. This just isn’t how love works. You need to know someone for a great deal of time before you can truly be in love with them.
So if you’re the type to think you’re actually and fully in love after only a couple dates, it’s likely you’re just addicted to feeling like you’re in love. You want to be in love so bad that you convince yourself that person is the one. Which means you’ve been “in love” a LOT.
#3 You’re always desperate to be in a relationship. So much so that you will basically date anyone, even people who possess qualities that you’ve talked about hating before. When you don’t have a significant other, you’re on almost every dating app trying to get with someone simply because you crave being in love that bad.
That’s what an addiction is. You crave it and you need it to feel happy and fulfilled. When in reality, you technically don’t need anyone at all. If you feel panicky about the fact that you’re single, as seldom as that is, you have a love addiction. [Read: How to text a guy without seeming desperate and overly needy]
#4 You date anyone who shows you the slightest bit of interest. This is because you’re so desperate to just be with someone. It doesn’t really matter who it is. The second someone shows the slightest bit of interest in you, you’re totally for them.
They become your everything and you shut off the rest of your life just to pursue that person. Which means you fall in love with them after a week and the cycle continues. If you date pretty much anyone who shows interest in you, you could have a love addiction.
#5 You try to please your partner WAY too much. Basically, when you’re in a relationship, you’re terrified of them leaving you. You do anything and everything to make them stay, which can be bad at times. This means you just go overboard and you do too much too fast. You come on too strong.
And this is all because you’re addicted to love. You need to be in love and the thought of your partner not loving you back is terrifying. Therefore, you do everything you can to make them love you and want to keep you around. [Read: 20 common signs of a people pleaser]
#6 You’re terrified of your partner’s unhappiness. For the same reasons listed above, you need your partner to be happy. When they’re upset, even if it’s not at you, you feel the need to jump in and make everything better.
This might seem innocent enough, but you’re not doing it because you truly care about them. You’re doing it because you don’t want them to be upset with you because that wouldn’t be like all those romance movies you watch.
#7 Being single scares the shit out of you. You just can’t deal with being single. Even while you’re in a relationship, you get really upset about the idea of being alone. And when that time eventually comes – which it will if you have a love addiction – you just can’t deal with it.
You end up going to friends and asking if they know any single people you can date. You’ll also probably go into a downward mental spiral at the idea of ending up alone. This is like withdrawal for love addiction. [Read: 11 things about being single people fear most]
#8 Never wanting to be away from your significant other. When you’re in a relationship and you never want to be away from your partner, it’s a problem. Sure, normal couples like to be around each other a lot but it’s not a big deal for them to go out and do things alone or just with friends.
If you can’t handle being away from your partner, it’s because you have a love addiction. You need them to be there and be loving you all the time. Again, this is like going through love withdrawal.
#9 Your friends tell you that you need to be single for a while. When your friends are pointing out the problem, then it’s real. You can’t ignore the people who love and care about you. They want to see you do great things and they want what’s best for you.
If they’re encouraging you to be single for a while, it’s because they’ve noticed your love addiction. Listen to them and get them to help you. It’ll be worth it. [Read: 18 ways to build real, lasting friendships]
#10 You’ve really never been single. Think back to when you were of dating age. Did you start dating right away and then haven’t stopped? If that’s the case, you likely have a love addiction. You can’t be single and be away from love in any way and therefore, you’re always involved with someone.[Read: 15 special ways to know if it’s true love]
This might not seem like a major addiction problem, but it is. You won’t be able to form healthy, functioning relationships if you have a love addiction, which can impact a huge part of your life.