What Do Women Want in a Man? The 14 Things Women Actually Want

That movie What Women Want wasn’t far off from the truth. The one thing men want to know is what do women want in a man. Well, here you go.

I think regardless if you’re a woman or man, you’re constantly trying to figure out what the other person wants. You’ve watched a chick flick, at least one, so, of course, you probably think that women want a complete bad boy with the Mustang revving in front of their house. But, you know, that’s not 100% accurate either. I know you’re probably grabbing your hair, stressed out, thinking, what do women want in a man then?

What do women want in a man?

Well, if it was that easy, it wouldn’t be fun, right? Finding out what a woman really wants from a man is part of the chase, part of the adventure. But, you’re probably at that moment where you couldn’t give a shit about the chase and that you just want a straight up answer.

Well, to be honest, I don’t know what women want. I mean, I know, but the problem is every woman is different and has different needs. Don’t freak out, I will tell you the general characteristics that women are looking for. Ah yes, the million dollar question.

#1 Honesty–to a point. Okay, women do want a man who’s honest, however, to a point. When it comes to important topics, yes, of course, we want a man to be honest. However, if we ask you how we look in a new dress and you don’t like it, do not say that we look fat or ugly in it.

Lighten up on your honesty and go for a more neutral answer, one that won’t result in you being sent to the dog house. [Read: 8 times white lies are your savior in love]

#2 Empathy. If you’re not empathetic, you should probably see a therapist. Empathy essentially means that you’re understanding of other people’s feelings. A woman wants to be with a man who understands her and her emotions. If not, how can you two be together? You don’t understand her feelings, she’s basically dating herself. [Read: 7 reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]

#3 Self-love. This is huge. If you’re not self-aware and loving yourself, then how can you be in a relationship with anyone? This goes for both men and women. You cannot be in a relationship if you’re firstly not in love with yourself. Appreciating yourself is the first thing you need to do in order to find someone who appreciates you just as much.

#4 Assertiveness. I’ve seen a couple guys I dated get walked over by other people and let me tell you, those relationships didn’t last long. Women don’t need their man to get into physical fights over everything, but women are looking for men that know when to voice their opinion and be assertive.

#5 A man they connect with emotionally. The sex may be mind blowing but if there’s no emotional connection then it doesn’t mean anything, it’s simply good sex. But having good sex isn’t hard to find. What’s hard to find is the emotional connection that comes with it. This is when the sex is just more than the physical, it’s lovemaking. [Read: 8 small ways to build emotional connection]

#6 But also connect in bed. Bam! Yeah, women aren’t stupid. We need that sizzle under the sheets. If there’s no sexual chemistry, well, then it’s not going to go anywhere. Come on, even men look for this in women. Sex is an important factor in relationships, so there has to be a sexual connection.

#7 Romance. Now, you don’t need to throw rose petals all over the bed and learn how to play the violin, that isn’t necessarily the definition of romance. Making her dinner, buying her flowers, going on a weekend road trip–these are all romantic gestures. Women want a man that is going to appreciate them and show them the appreciation.

#8 They want a man who’s reliable. If you don’t show up when you say you’re going to or make plans and then bail, well, here’s a good reason why you’re single. Women want a man who’s going to show up when they say they will and will be there when they need their man. On a deeper level, when it comes to looking for a serious life partner, this is on the top five qualities women look for. [Read: The truth behind what women really want in men]

#9 A man who can carry a conversation. I’ve been on some dates where it was like I was pulling teeth to get him to speak. This shouldn’t be an issue. If you aren’t a huge conversationalist, that’s okay, but at least try to talk. We’re not asking you to talk like a spin doctor, we just want to have a decent conversation.

#10 A man who makes her feel comfortable. If she can’t walk around in front of you naked, eat pizza with hands, or not shave her legs for a week, she’s not comfortable. Of course, you’ll have this period where she’s going to show you her best self, but eventually, she’ll want to relax and show you who is she. If she’s not comfortable, she’ll never let her wall down.

#11 A gentleman. I know you’re probably thinking that women want a guy who’s a badass and to some extent that’s true, however, we still want a man that’s going to respect us and treat us right.

This is why being a gentleman is important. If you don’t show respect to her, you’ll lose her. This doesn’t mean you have to pay for everything, that’s not what being a gentleman is about, it’s about respect. [Read: 15 ways to be a gentleman and keep her happy]

#12 Confidence. There’s literally nothing sexier than a man who is confident. Listen, it’s really not important what brand you’re wearing or if you have the latest iPhone. That doesn’t mean anything. Confidence is from within and stems from self-respect. A man who is confident is sexy.

#13 A man who loves what he does. Women want to be with someone who takes pride in what they do and enjoys it. You don’t need to be rolling in cash or the CEO of a company. Whatever it is, it’s irrelevant, what’s important is that you love what you do. Because at the end of the day, you’re going to be coming home to her, so if you’re not happy, it’ll affect the relationship. [Read: 12 tips to transform yourself from a nice guy to a real man]

#14 Can make her laugh. Who would want to be with someone that doesn’t make them laugh? I mean, you want a partner that can make you laugh and vice versa. It’s more than just about sharing a laughing, it’s about connecting with another person. Laughter is connection and that’s what we want at the end of the day.

[Read: What women find attractive: 16 traits girls instantly fall for]

What do women want in a man? Well, when I find out the formula, I’ll let you know. As for now, these are the characteristics that most women are looking for in a man.