How to Get Over Someone Fast: The Speedy Heartache Recovery Guide

Breaking up with someone may be a relief. It doesn’t mean you’re going to get over them that easily. But you can learn how to get over someone fast.

While the queen of failed relationships, I’m also the queen of how to get over someone fast. Let’s just admit one thing: breakups suck. It doesn’t matter if you do the dumping or are the dumpee.

At the end of the day, you had feelings for this person. You texted all the time, and you probably got used to the fighting. Now, you’re without them. No matter if the relationship was good or not, we all get comfortable and adapt to our environment. There were guys I dated I couldn’t stand. But once I broke up with them, I missed them even though I didn’t want to be with them. See? It happens to all of us. [Read: 15 tips to help you move on from your breakup faster]

How to get over someone fast

But, of course, you’ll get through this. It just takes some time to get back to a routine that you had prior to them or even to make a new routine. Sometimes this takes a while, and probably a lot longer than you’d like.

At the end of the day, you can’t rush your feelings but you can do things to help you become more self-aware and connected to yourself which helps you move on. Breakups suck but take it as a learning experience. Put down the ice cream, Nancy.

#1 First rule: there are no rules. I know you want me to give you some formula, some exact outline in order to get over someone. But here’s the thing, there are no rules to this. For some people, they move on in a couple days. For others, it takes weeks, months, or years. It really depends on you and your relationship with this person and the emotional connection you had with them. [Read: How to stop caring about someone who once meant the world to you]

#2 Don’t put a time limit on yourself. People make this mistake all the time. And this actually makes the process even longer and harder to go through. Understanding how to get over someone fast is giving yourself space and time to grieve and process what happened. If not, you end up bouncing from relationship to relationship with this person in your head the entire time. [Read: The 7 stages of heartbreak when you become someone’s ex]

#3 Feel like shit if you want to. There are people who put on a fake smile and pretend they’re completely fine. Truthfully, they’re not fine, so why bother pretending? If you’re sad then be sad. Stay in on the weekend, watch a sad movie, cry it out, and pass out holding a bag of chips. Give yourself the opportunity to truly be sad.

#4 Don’t fill the emptiness with sex. Haven’t you watched any chick flicks? You know that doesn’t work. So many people think that if they rebound, they’ll get over the person quicker, but that’s false. If anything, it makes you realize either a) how good the sex was with them or b) that you two had a connection. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have sex, but give yourself some time before you do.

#5 Delete them from everything. Don’t keep their number in your phone. Don’t follow them on Instagram. Don’t have them or their mom on Facebook—nothing. And when I mean nothing, I mean nothing. Remove them completely from your life, at least for now. If you want to get over them fast then stop stalking them on social media. [Read: How to avoid the awkward drama of drunk texting]

#6 Be honest about why it happened. Why did you break up with them or why did they break up with you? This is the time to be terribly honest with yourself. Just because you love them, doesn’t mean they love you back. There’s a reason why it happened. This is the chance for you to accept the real reason of why it occurred.

#7 Get back into the real world. Right now, you’re probably theorizing, thinking about the future, and the “what if” questions run through your head. Now, I get it. I do that as well, but it’s not going to help you get over them. Get back into the real world and what’s actually happening around you. The fact is, you’re not with them anymore. As of now, it doesn’t look like you’re going to be with them.

#8 Set your emotions free. So many people bottle up their emotions inside, locking them tightly inside their hearts. But this only prolongs the post-breakup period. You need to get your emotions out. I don’t care if you write a song or poem, take up a kickboxing class, or talk to a therapist. The point is—get them out. [Read: 20 perfect songs to help you break down and get stronger after a breakup]

#9 Bring back your social life. When you were with them, you probably didn’t see your friends much. Now, that’s normal, but it’s time to get your social life back to how it used to look. This doesn’t mean you hang out with people every day, but surround yourself with positive and supportive friends.

#10 You don’t need to always be busy. People think the best way to get over someone fast is to make sure every minute of the day is spent doing something. That’s wrong. You need time to reflect, time alone to sit with your thoughts, that’s the only way you’ll get through it. If you’re busy all day, you ignore the issue and bury it.

#11 Remove any memories of them. You don’t have to burn photos, just put them in a box and keep them stored somewhere. I never understood why people burn photos and gifts. Remember, at one point, this person was a part of your life, you’ll want to look back and see how much you’ve changed from that relationship.

#12 Don’t be hopeful. They’re not coming back to you. This is the mindset to have. Hope is what prevents us from moving on and accepting what happened. We think they’ll come back to us and in some cases they do, but the best thing is to assume that they’re not. This way, you focus on healing. [Read: 30 ways to get back on track after a breakup]

#13 Do you. You probably feel that you lost something of yours. It’s time to change that way of thinking. Think of this as an improvement. As if you shed a layer of skin. Now, it’s time to focus on your mental health. Go get a haircut, get your nails done, go for a walk—it doesn’t matter what you do as long as you show some self-love.

[Read: 8 post-breakup questions you should be thinking about]

We all know that breakups are hard, even if you dump a complete loser. But, use these tips and learn how to get over someone fast.