How to Be Cool: 13 Lessons to Ace the Art of Being Adored & Admired

We all want to know how to be cool, but only a small handful of people actually pull it off. It takes some skill, but it’s not unachievable.

In high school, I wasn’t cool. Okay, I wasn’t completely an outcast either. I liked to call myself a floater. I would go from social group to social group, spreading out my time evenly among everyone, and it worked for me. I wanted and kinda still want to be the cool girl. I mean, it looks like they’re having fun. And that’s why we all want to know how to be cool. Being cool looks fun.

Sure, I would get invited to the “cool kids” parties every now and then, but in no way, shape, or form was I a cool kid. In some ways, I think it was best that I wasn’t a cool kid in high school. Most of those cool kids, well, they peaked in high school and nothing much has happened to them since. So, do be careful with what you wish for. [Read: How to be charming and liked by everyone]

How to be cool

Now, if you think about the people who you consider to be cool, you’ll notice that they all seem to share a couple similar characteristics: they’re confident, friendly with everyone, and there’s something unique about them. But other than that, there’s no formula that shows what being cool is because it’s subjective.

You may think someone is cool where I’ll think they’re not and vice versa. However, there are some basic guidelines you can follow to help bump up your coolness. After all, knowing how to be cool is an art.

#1 Don’t focus on it. Here’s the thing, we all know the people that are trying to be cool. They’ll hang around the cool kids and kiss their asses if they need to, just to get validation. But, truly cool people aren’t focused on what will make them look cool. They just are who they are. So, though you’re going to follow these guidelines, don’t obsess about them because people will easily catch on. [Read: How to own your own unique type of attractiveness]

#2 Don’t be needy. Cool kids have people come to them, not the other way around. They’re not needy or desperate. When you’re needy, people don’t feel that you’re reliable when it comes to your opinion. However, if you’re laid back, then people will feel the need to come to you and seek advice.

And plus, we all know that neediness isn’t attractive no matter who you are. Don’t beg people, don’t cling around them, and don’t have others solve your problems. [Read: 20 of the most common reasons people don’t like you]

#3 You have to be yourself. If you want to know how to be cool, you need to be yourself. I know you’re thinking, but being myself isn’t cool! But it is. You are your own person which is what makes you unique. To be cool means to be yourself in the most genuine of ways, and actually like yourself for who you are. If you copy other people and be someone you’re not, everyone catches on, which makes you uncool.

#4 Keep your self-advertisement to a minimum. You know in the movies how the cool guy is always the strong and silent type that reads a philosophy book in the corner of the cafeteria? Okay, well there’s a reason why people are drawn to him. It’s because he’s mysterious. He’s not telling you everything that you want to hear.

You don’t need to tell everyone everything about yourself. You can keep some things to yourself or your closest friends. [Read: The art of seduction – 25 sexy ways to smolder and ooze sex appeal]

#5 Know how to talk. You don’t have to sound like you’re selling cars, but you need to work on how you talk. Cool kids aren’t using slang words which you can’t understand. They can actually talk to you and hold a decent conversation. That’s what makes them cool. You can actually talk to them. The allure is gone when you meet someone who you thought was cool and they can hardly rub two brain cells together.

#6 Work on your confidence. You never see the cool kid with their head down, eating their lunch alone in the corner of the cafeteria. No, the cool kid has their head up high, walking with confidence. That’s why they’re cool. People wish they had the ability to have this person’s confidence in life. Remember, what makes someone cool is that they’re comfortable with themselves and don’t care about what other people think. [Read: 16 easy ways to build self confidence and realize you’re worth it]

#7 Know that not everyone will like you. This is something that you’re going to have to accept. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay. We can’t all like everyone we meet or else we would literally have thousands of good friends and that’s just not realistic. So, though some people may think you’re cool, others may not and that’s something you’ll need to get over.

#8 Find your own style. If you want to be cool and have people admire and respect you, at the end of the day, you need to stick to your own style. Your personality isn’t something you can change, these are core characteristics that make you who you are. So, your style should compliment them and help bring out those characteristics from you. [Read: How to discover self-love and happiness]

#9 Treat everyone as equals. There are some people that got lucky and are cool because they hang out with the right people or are really hot. But, once you talk to them, you realize that they’re actually horrible people. If you want to stay cool, you need to treat everyone as an equal. You’re not better than anyone else and people shouldn’t get that impression of you.

#10 Less is more. Here we go. Less is more, you know the saying. And that saying is 100% right. When it comes to being cool, less is more. You don’t need to wear an entire Gucci outfit from the shoes to the headband to look cool. If anything, you’ll look like an idiot. Cool people don’t try so hard. Why was James Bond cool? Because everything he did was smooth and calm. [Read: 35 hacks to make people like you and charm absolutely anyone]

#11 You don’t need to follow the rules. Now, this doesn’t mean you should commit a list of criminal offenses, that’s not the point. What I’m trying to get at is that cool people break the rules when they need to. There’s this rebelliousness which is usually found in cool people. They’re willing to break the rules if needed, plus, it also makes them appear powerful which adds to the “cool” factor.

#12 Cool isn’t the coolest. Just because someone is cool doesn’t mean life is going to go smoothly for them. Here’s the thing, sometimes being cool can be a great help while in other situations, you wish you maybe weren’t so cool. Yes, being outgoing can show that you’re cool, but it can also be seen as you being a jerk. It’s a balancing act that you’re going to need to figure out on your own. [Read: How to keep growing into a kind human]

#13  Relax. If you want to be cool, you need to relax. I know you read all of these tips and are now trying to figure out what and how to carry everything out, but listen, relax. The cool people aren’t freaking out and being dramatic every waking moment.

They’re called cool for a reason, and it’s because they’re chill and relaxed. So, being relaxed is going to be something you need to work on.

[Read: How to be more comfortable when you’re meeting new people]

We all want to be cool. Everyone loves having people like and respect them. Now that you know how to be cool, you just need to put the wheel in motion.